Linebacker’s Second Chance(95)
“And I have something to give you. Maybe it won’t convince you to stay, but well, it’ll show my intentions.” He gets up, and my jaw drops down. I know that he’s been on this kick of wanting me to leave New York for him, and until yesterday, he pursued it with single-minded determination in nearly every conversation we’ve had. Before I can respond with what I need to say, he’s rushing off to the upstairs like he didn’t even hear me when I opened my mouth.
My heart drops when I think about what he might want to give me. It couldn’t be a ring, could it? I twist my hands around and sit up straight on the sofa. Eliza shifts and looks at me like she might be worried about my sanity. And I might be worried about it too.
After all, what woman says no to a handsome billionaire with a big cock... who knows how to cook... and eat pussy?
Oh fuck, what am I doing? I can’t do this. Can’t say no to him, can’t explain what’s gone wrong in my life. Maybe I can—
I start breathing hard, clutching at my chest, trying to calm the panic that’s rising inside of me. I throw the blanket off of my lap and leap to my feet, shaking with anxiety. And this is the image that greets Rowan when he comes back into the room. There’s obvious pleasure—no, beaming happiness—when he walks in the room, holding a little velvet box with a blue ribbon wrapped around.
“What’s wrong, Cadence? I know you don’t want to stay—but I thought I would try one last time. I know this is right. Hell, I’ll buy you an apartment in New York. I’ll fly you between here and there. I’ll—”
“Rowan, stop. I can’t stay here. Please don’t—” My voice cracks, and he comes over to me and puts the little box down on the coffee table.
“It’s not an engagement ring. I know very well you won’t marry a man that you’ve really just started dating—”
“I’m not—we’re not—are we dating?” I think back to the day before, when we road Rowan’s horses through the fields behind his house and up into the mountains. That—and all that came before it—might suggest that we were on a dating fast track. But we haven’t seen anyone else. This hasn’t been the real world.
“As far as I can tell, I think we’re dating, Cadence. And I want to give you this to show you that I’m serious about keeping on with you, no matter if you’re in New York or not. Hell, I’ll set you up in the guest house after all if you need some space right now.” He picks up the velvet box again, and there’s something so sad about it. In my little girl dreams, I’d always wanted a prince to take me away from the world and want me more than anyone. Eli had shown me that none of that was real, that I couldn’t have everything I wanted. In the world I lived in, this didn’t seem like it could be real. And it isn’t, because of the broken things deep inside of me. I put my hand on top of the box and push Rowan’s hand away. Confusion hits his deep blue eyes, and he knits his dark eyebrows together.
“Cadence, you care about me. I can see it.” He puts his strong hands on my arms, and warmth sears through me at his touch, even in my state of mind.
I smile. “It’s really that obvious?” He nods. My heart beats fast, and I’m afraid of the words I’m about to say. “Rowan—”
“I don’t like your tone, woman.” His words are joking, but there’s worry hidden in his voice. “This is the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ speech. I’ve gotten this one before—”
“Stop for a second. Rowan, I know you’ve got baggage. I do too. But it’s different. What I’ve got is different.”
“Whatever it is, it’s okay. I promise.” I purse my lips together, and I think of is body when it collides with mine. The last time we were together, we hadn’t used a condom, and there was something in his body language, the hopeful look on his face. It was idiotic of both of us, but God, that hope... It’s the worst thing of all. He puts the jewelry box down again and grips my hand. I wonder how many more times he can nervously pick it up and put it down. “You don’t even have to tell me. Hell, I’ll put the necklace away. It’s a necklace. It’s not a ring—”
“Rowan...” I start, and my voice trails off. I think of a way to explain it. But there’s nothing easy about this, and it’s never something anyone wants to hear. But with his big, earnest blue eyes, I owe him an explanation. “You know I read romance novels, right?”