Lily White Lies(29)

“So… Gayle married Joker to keep you from going to prison?”

He nodded.

I asked, “Then what?”

As he stood, his eyes darted around the room several times. He checked out the window as if he were expecting something, then turned to me and said, “Then nothing, Sugar. I met your grandmother… had my family… you know the rest.”

Something told me there was a lot more to his story, but I also sensed that he had grown uncomfortable talking about it. This had been the most he had ever shared with me and I didn’t want to run the risk of alienating him by asking more questions than he was comfortable answering.

Holding the pitcher of tea, he turned toward me, a serious expression filling the lines on his face.

“You know, Sugar, I never claimed to be the smartest man in the world, but life has taught me a thing or two.” He set the pitcher down and said, “First, if you’re going to do anything important, do it for love. There is no other reason. Second, never ignore your gut. Your head will over-think, your heart is too emotional but your gut will give it to you straight ninety-nine percent of the time. Don’t waste the sense the good Lord gave you.”

My nod was slight and maybe undetected by Gramp, but I paid close attention to what he said and found myself in deep thought. Few words and a simple philosophy had affected me in a way I hadn’t expected. I’d been doing things all wrong. I’d been trying to ignore what my gut was telling me, believing my head was the smarter of the two, while my heart buoyed in confusion.

I got up from the table and walked to where he was now bent over, putting our dishes in the dishwasher. I rested a hand on his back and said, “Thank you. I enjoyed our talk today and I wouldn’t mind doing it more often.”

Straightening to face me, he wrapped his arms around me, rubbed my back with one hand and said, “Door’s always open, Sugar. You know that.”

A secure but unexpected feeling passed through me. I nodded into his chest and replied, “I don’t feel as though I know much these days, but I do know that.”



~ ~ ~



I slouched in my chair, tossing my hair back, trying my best to avoid Brian’s attempts at conversation.

“Did you enjoy your visit with your aunt today?”

I lied and answered, “Yes,” as I thought how ironic his question was. Today, the first time in ages that I didn’t make my usual visit to the nursing home, he finally remembered that’s where I usually go on Saturdays.

Glancing up from his newspaper, he said, “I had a pretty busy day myself.”

Certainly, he’ll have to fill me in on the details, I thought. He continued to read his paper quietly, stealing quick looks in my direction as if waiting for me to ask him about his day. I could have let him simmer in his news but decided it would be over sooner if I patronized him.

My voice lacked any real interest when I asked, “So what did you do today?”

He stared into his paper for a few more seconds before casually laying it on the table and giving me his full attention.

“I went shopping.”

The room grew silent and it became apparent that in this game, he expected me to drag each word from him in order to build suspense.

“Shopping… for…” Throwing my hands in the air and shaking my head, I added, “…golf clubs?”

Either my attempt at sarcasm went unnoticed or his mood was too good for me to ruin.

“I got you a little present—call it my wedding gift to you.”

I smiled and wondered if my smile looked as phony as it felt. I should have been beside myself with happiness but instead, I was mad at Brian for ruining the opportunity to end the relationship tonight.

“You didn’t have to do that… I didn’t even get you anything yet.”

His degree of excitement was something I usually only witnessed when he won a big case. He would brag about how he worked the jury and what strategies he used until long after I stopped listening.

“Don’t worry about that, you can pick something up later. C’mon, I want to give you yours now.”

As he jerked me up by the hand, I said, “Shouldn’t you wait until the wedding to give it to me?”

“No, I want you to have it now. I can’t wait for you to see it!”

He led me through the house and out the front door quickly. I couldn’t help but think that his actions were unbearable. Definitely the able word of the day. Just when I decide that his insensitivity is more than I can handle and think I deserve better for the rest of my life, he finds kindness. When I work up the courage to tell him what I’m feeling, he gives me a present. I feel like I’m standing with a full score card and still don’t know who’s winning.