Leverage (Part Three)(18)

“Then you will lose,” he told her. “I told you previously…no one will keep me from what’s mine. Since I no longer see any value in continuing our relationship, you are no longer my concern but what you carry in your belly, I’d move heaven and earth to keep. Understand?”

She blinked back sudden tears, whispering, “I hate you, Boston Kincaid.”

“Good. It’s easier this way. No need for weeping and carrying on,” he said, hating himself and watching the scene unfold as if he were watching someone else completely derail his life but it had to be done. “I’ll expect updates on the pregnancy and when you reach your ninth month, I will expect you to move into my home so I can be there when you go into labor.”

Julianna barked a short, incredulous laugh as she wiped her tears away. “Everything is at Boston’s convenience, isn’t it? Well, screw you. I’m not moving into your house when I’m nine months pregnant. When I go into labor, you’ll get a call.”

“I don’t trust you.”

“Too bad.”

“Why are you doing this?” she asked. “Is it so hard for you to be a decent human being?”

Apparently, he answered silently. He looked away, unable to hold her angry, hurt gaze a moment longer. “Julianna, I’m setting you free. Leave it at that. I’d thought you’d be ecstatic. You’ve been more than vocal in your feelings about me and frankly, I’ve tired of your shrill bitching.”

“I’ve never been shrill and you’re lying,” she said, calling him out. “You’re pushing me away for a reason.”

Boston startled but held his surprise in check. She could see through him. He desperately longed to throw himself at her feet and beg for her forgiveness but he couldn’t do it. His knees were locked and his mouth seamed shut. He turned a cold eye toward Julianna. “You overestimate my feelings for you, sweetheart,” he said. “The chase no longer thrills me and I have no need for a woman who isn’t readily willing and pliant in my bed. You, my little pet, are way too much work.” Unbidden his late father’s advice rang in his head, nothing worth having, comes easily, son, and he had to shake it off before he caved. But he couldn’t quite help the hunger that flared to life when she closed the distance between them. He could smell the warmth of her skin, baked to a golden glow in the Caribbean sun, and he stuffed down the urged to devour her, holding his hands at his side.

“Tell me you don’t love me,” she dared, almost desperately, so vulnerable he could die. She was so brave, so much more than he because he couldn’t admit what he should. One word and he could have it all. She was offering but he couldn’t accept. Love. God, that word. What did he know about love? All he knew was he sure as hell didn’t deserve Julianna’s.

“Don’t do this,” he warned in a hard tone, needing to push her away but he couldn’t, wouldn’t. “Julianna…”

She looped her arms around him and rose on her toes to press a soft kiss on his lips that sparked to life a raging need that keened like a wild thing in his breast. She said softly against his mouth, “Tell me you don’t want me, that you don’t need me. Tell me that you don’t love me and I’ll let you go and I’ll agree to your new terms but be careful what you say if you don’t mean it, because if you push me away…I’m never coming back.”

Don’t do it, Boston…but suddenly, his arms were around her and he was hugging her so tightly, he was afraid of crushing her. “Julianna…” his voice cracked against his will and he shuddered as an emotion so strong threatened to drown him in a sea of longing and impossible want but if he’d been guilty of being selfish before, clinging to Julianna now after what he’d done, would be the epitome of selfishness and he couldn’t do it. But he would take one last kiss and savor it until he died.

Hoisting Julianna into his arms, he savaged her mouth, so needing to feel her tongue against his, pouring everything he felt about her in his truest of hearts into his kiss. With a sweetness that went against every harsh word he’d ever uttered, he made love to her mouth, wishing he had the privilege of taking her to their bed every night, worshipping her body, not because he’d paid her but because she’d willfully graced him with the ownership of her heart and he knew this was the last time she’d offer herself so freely. Oh God, Julianna. I’m so sorry. I fucked up. I love you. I love you. And I love our baby because it’s a magical creation made of you and me and I’ll spend the rest of my life being the best father even if I can’t be who you need me to be. Boston reverently framed her face as he reluctantly slowed their kisses, needing to let her go before he lost the ability to do so. He gently set her down, briefly basking in the beauty of her sleepy, love-drunk expression, knowing he was about to kill it. Take a mental snapshot, Boston, ‘cause it’s never going to be for you again.