Let It Snow(79)

Her playlist had ended on ‘Extraordinary’ by Liz Phair, and by the time she’d walked out the door, she really had been feeling like an “average, everyday, sane/psycho Super Goddess.” She had been ready to go to this event, and Jake’s presence was not going to throw her in the least. He would be there with a date who had won the honor through a raffle, and Tessa could handle it. She was going to be working and Jake was raising money for a good cause.

Much to Tessa’s disappointment, however, that strong glass-half-full momentum she’d built up lasted for about .46576 seconds after she laid eyes on Jake in his tux. She was disappointed with herself, obviously, for falling prey to her hormones. But she was equally disappointed in her playlist for giving her false hope that she might be able to withstand them when she so clearly could not.

Still, Tessa had a job to do. And she couldn’t let it suffer because of how much seeing Jake affected her. So, she put on a bright smile and began to mingle and do her job. If there was one thing that she had learned during the endless parade of weddings, birthdays, graduations, bar mitzvahs, and quinceañeras she had photographed these past years in San Diego, it was that people came out looking much more natural and organic in photographs if you chatted with them first, got them relaxed and smiling and happy.

She was here to take photos tonight—that was her job. But moreover, she was here to take great photos tonight. That was her work ethic. She didn’t care if she was photographing a prom for a high school or a war zone for Time—she did her best work every time she got behind the lens. No exceptions.

So, yes, it was tearing her apart inside that Jake was across the room with a gorgeous—a little flashy but she had to admit, gorgeous—blond on his arm instead of her. Oh well. That didn’t matter. What did matter was that she was going to put on a happy front and do her job.

“Hey, girlie girl.” Tessa heard Amanda’s familiar perky voice beside her. “How are you doing?”

Tessa turned and looked into Amanda’s eyes, reveling in the warmth and concern she saw there. It was good to see a friendly face and be able to drop the plastic, professional façade for just a moment.

Tessa shook her head. “Well, I have to admit, it’s a bit exhausting pretending to be happy and bubbly,” she laughed.

Amanda enfolded her in a quick hug and then said, “Well, why don’t you take a little break from capturing the festivities for posterity and sit and have a glass of watered down wine from the open bar with me?”

Tessa nodded gratefully. “Honestly, the promise of weak booze has never been so welcomed.”

It took a while to make it through the crowded room. Especially with people stopping her every two feet either to tell her how great it was to see her again—which was nice to hear—or to comment on the fact that they thought she would be Jake’s date tonight—which was not so nice to hear.

When they did finally sit down together at one of the tables that had been placed around the perimeter of the dance floor, Tessa held up her glass of wine and said wryly, “I think I’m going to be needing more than one of these tonight.”

Amanda reached over and rubbed her shoulder in support, and Tessa appreciated it. However, that relief was short-lived, because at that instant she looked up and saw something that, even though she had been expecting to see something like it all evening, sent her into an emotional tailspin.

Jake and his beautiful blond date were out on the dance floor and she was clinging to him for all she was worth.

Tessa’s insides clenched. She knew it wasn’t real. She knew that Jake was only there because this was a professional function and the girl had won a raffle. It wasn’t real. And yet…

Tessa couldn’t help it. The emotional reaction she had to seeing Jake with his arms around another woman—to seeing Jake with another woman pressed tightly against his body—was horrible. It made Tessa feel as if she wanted to die—or more accurately, like she wanted the other woman to die.

When she looked at the picture they made out on the dance floor, it made her wonder, Is that the kind of girl Jake is going to end up with? Was that really what Tessa wanted for him? Would that girl, who was rubbing up against him like a cat in heat, be a good wife, a good mother? Would she love Jake like Tessa did? Would she be willing to sacrifice her own personal happiness for him?

“Hey, Levi!” Amanda’s voice pulled her out of her inner turmoil. “How are you tonight?”

“Great,” Levi answered with a smile. “Just wondering if I can interest either one of you lovely ladies in a dance?”