Let It Snow(17)

“Thanks.” He cleared his throat, trying not to let her words affect him. He had to remind himself that whether she was proud of him or not made absolutely zero difference. Even if that was a lie, he had to tell himself that out of pure self-preservation. “What about you? Still taking pictures? Traveling around the world?”

Tessa was an amazing photographer. He had bought every Time magazine that her pictures had been featured in. But nothing from her had been printed in them for the last five years. He Googled her every once in a while—daily—to see if she’d moved to another publication, if she was freelance, any information at all really, but always came up empty-handed.

Tessa fidgeted in her seat. Her eyes were downcast, looking at her hands, which were folded in her lap. “No, not anymore. Just local stuff now.”

“And where’s local?” Jake asked. Maybe he shouldn’t have. Maybe it would just make things worse if he knew where she lived. But there wasn’t a day, an hour that went by that she didn’t cross his mind, and she was sitting here, in front of him, now.

He had to know.

“San Diego,” she said as she tucked a piece of hair behind her ears.

“How long have you been there?” Jake felt his body tensing. He tried to temper his tone but he could hear a distinct hardness in it.

“Um, about eight years. Six of them full time.”

Six years. She’d lived in the same state as him for six years and she hadn’t tried to contact him?! After she’d left to “see the world,” he knew that her first stop had been New York. Then he’d heard that she’d spent some time in Paris and Italy. He’d gotten her postcards. But she’d settled down—in California—and hadn’t even bothered to pick up the phone?

Was she with someone? Is that why?

He looked down at her left hand. There was no ring, but maybe she just didn’t wear one. “So are you married? Kids?”

A look of pain flashed in her baby blue eyes. Before he could ask if she was okay, it was gone. It happened so fast that he wondered if he’d actually seen it.

“Nope. On both counts.” She smiled weakly. “What about you? Are you and Courtney serious? Do you have any kids?”

“Courtney?” Jake had no idea who she was talking about.

“Your girlfriend.” When he didn’t respond, she continued with a twinge of irritation in her voice. “The redhead. At the bar last night. You couldn’t have missed her. She was the one attached at your hip.”

“Oh, her.” Jake tried to suppress his smile. If he wasn’t mistaken, Tessa sounded jealous. It shouldn’t make him feel like he’d just won a gold medal, but it did. As much as he enjoyed that feeling, this wasn’t a game, so he set the record straight. “She’s not my girlfriend. And no, I don’t have any kids.”

“Oh.” Tessa brow’s knitted in confusion as she sucked in a breath.

A small wrinkle appeared between her eyebrows. Jake’s heart squeezed in his chest. He loved that little wrinkle. Whenever she’d been worried or concentrating way too hard, he used to softly brush his thumb over it and her whole body would relax at his touch. He’d always loved how responsive she was to him.

No. He couldn’t think about that. Nothing good could come from thinking like that.

Pushing those thoughts from his head, he asked bluntly, “So why are you back?”

“Oh, um. I’m here to clear up some stuff with Gran’s house,” she explained.

“How long will you be here?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed, shaking her head slightly back and forth. Her hair brushed across her shoulders and the sweet scent of her shampoo made its way across the desk.

The room was silent except for the wind whipping against the window that sat behind Jake and looked out over the vast pines at the base of the mountain.

Conflicting emotions rioted through him. Anger. Happiness. Love. Hate. Fear. Joy. Pain. Pleasure.

He was so confused that he didn’t know which way was up. So he decided to grab on to two absolute truths. She left. And she was leaving again.

That’s what Jake needed to remember. Nothing would change those facts. No feelings. No words. No actions would change or stop those things. He knew that from experience.

Standing, he quickly moved towards the door and opened it. “Thanks for dropping off the jacket.”

Her eyes widened as she looked up at him, seemingly taken aback by his sudden dismissal. She stood to her feet and smiled self-consciously. “Oh, no problem.”

Looking down at the ground, she came around the chair and stepped towards the doorway. Just before she reached it, Jake closed the door, moving in front of her.