Let It Snow(16)

She could do this. It was just Jake.

Oh come on, a little voice piped up in her head with a sarcastic note. Just Jake? That’s like saying Louis Vuittons were “just shoes.”

Tessa made the executive decision to ignore that annoying little bugger though and stick to her original thought. Just. Jake. She could do this.

When she turned back around, she was surprised to find Jake’s expression and demeanor looking much more relaxed. He had a small, knowing smile on his face and his eyes looked softer.

“What?” she asked, confused at his quick turnaround.

Her mind started spinning with reasons that he had looked so cold but now looked like Joe Cool. Maybe he hated being interrupted at work? No, that’s stupid. Maybe he just didn’t want anyone to overhear him being nice to her because of his girlfriend? No, that didn’t sound like Jake.

“Nothing.” He shook his head slightly and leaned back, motioning towards a green chair beside her. “Sit down.”

She was having a really hard time concentrating on anything except his tingle-inducing shirt that fit tight in all the right places, but she did take note of the new level of bossiness he’d adopted. Last night it was “Take the coat.” Today it was “Come in,” “Shut the door,” “‘Sit down.” Okay, she wasn’t gonna lie, it was kind of hot, but would a “please” have killed him?

Tessa decided that, instead of pointing that out, she would take the high road. So she laid his coat on his desk and took her seat in the leather chair. This whole experience felt a little too surreal for her to process.

She was in Hope Falls. Sitting in Jake’s office. And they were alone.

Having no flippin’ idea what else to say, she simply said, “Hi.”

“Hi.”

A slowly building, wide smile broke out on Jake’s face, revealing perfectly straight white teeth. And that’s when it happened. Her heart, that was already broken in a million pieces, broke into a million more.

All because of that smile, the one that felt like it had been made just for her. That was the smile he’d had the first day they met, the first time he’d kissed her, the first time they’d made love, and the first time he’d asked her to marry him.

It was the smile she never thought she’d see again and the one she didn’t know how she’d survived without the last thirteen years.

She really should not have come.

*

Jake could tell that Tessa was about two seconds from bolting. Something in the atmosphere of the room had shifted between them. He wasn’t sure why she’d come by. But he did know it hadn’t been to bring him his jacket.

He still couldn’t quite get over how beautiful she was. She had a little more color to her cheeks today. And last night, when her hair had been wet, it had looked a little darker, but now it shimmered a light shade of golden blond. His hands itched to reach out and touch it, like he had when she used to lay her head in his lap and he would run his fingers through its soft strands, his fingertips grazing her head.

Her eyes looked an even more brilliant and bright blue than they had the night before. They always popped whenever she wore the color blue. And her lips. Damn, they were the star of so many of his fantasies. Soft yet firm, plump and supple. He remembered the first time he’d kissed her. He’d thought he’d died and gone to heaven. He was by no means a virgin when they’d gotten together, but their first kiss had been the most erotic experience he’d had in his seventeen years.

When he’d looked up from his desk she’d looked terrified. He’d even heard her whispering her “okays” when she’d closed the door, which she only did when she was trying to calm down. So he knew that, even though she’d come here, this visit wasn’t easy for her.

When he’d first seen her standing perfectly framed in the doorway he’d thought he was dreaming. That he’d fallen asleep again and dreamt of her coming to his office. It wasn’t until she started rambling that he’d realized that she wasn’t just a dream or some figment of his overactive imagination. She’d really been standing there, in the flesh.

Sitting here now, across from Tessa, he knew he had a lot to say, but Jake was at a loss of where to begin. He wasn’t quite sure how to break the ice with her. What do you say to your soul mate after they’ve torn your heart out, chewed it up, spit on it, and disappeared for over a decade?

“How have you been?” he asked. He knew it was lame, but his natural charm was failing him at the moment.

“Fine.” She shrugged her shoulders noncommittally but looked relieved that he’d spoken. Jake knew how much she hated awkward silences. “What about you? I heard you just got a promotion. I’m so happy for you. Congratulations,” she said with genuine happiness and pride shining through her eyes.