Learning to Be Little Again(60)

Pulling me close, he asked, “How does starting off with The Hungry Caterpillar sound to you?”

“Perfect.” I loved Eric Carle books. The pictures were so much fun to look at. I relaxed as he began to read.



* * *



It was the next morning and I was at my wit’s end with Robert. I hadn’t talked to him about how he’d been treating me, and it had gotten worse. Every time I tried to bring up the fact that I didn’t like acting this young, he would put a pacifier or bottle in my mouth and tell me that baby girls didn’t worry.

I knew he was trying to protect me, but he was seriously taking it to a whole new level. He never asked me if I felt comfortable using my diaper, sucking on a pacifier, or letting him do every single thing for me. I couldn’t take it anymore! Yes, I had gotten hurt, but I wasn’t an invalid.

When I woke up this morning, I decided I was going to put my foot down, especially because I had to go to the bathroom again and it wasn’t just to pee.

“Morning, sweetie. How are you feeling today?” he asked, walking into the bedroom with a big smile on his face.

“I still feel sore, but better.” Not wanting to beat around the bush, I said, “Listen, I umm… I need to go to the bathroom.” I felt my cheeks blush. This was not something I had ever planned on talking to him about.

“Then use your diaper and I’ll change you, sweetie. You know that,” he said, sitting on the side of the bed and tapping my head.

He tapped my head. Like I was some… pet. I was furious. I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. This isn’t going to go well if you yell at him.

“I mean, I have to do more than pee. Please bring me to the bathroom.”

“Baby girl, you can use your diaper for everything. You know I’ll take care of your every need.”

I looked at him with what must have been horror written all over my face. Here I was directly asking him to take me to the bathroom, and he wasn’t going to do it. This was crossing so many boundaries, it wasn’t even funny.

Of course, since he completely ignored my request, I got even angrier. Before I knew it, I was shouting at him. “No! I want to go to the bathroom!”

“Little girl, I expect better behavior from you. I understand that you aren’t feeling well, but this is no way to speak to your Daddy.”

“I don’t care! I want to go to the bathroom now!” I shouted, crossing my arms over my chest—or the best attempt at crossing them with one of my arms in a cast.

“Sweetie, you better change your attitude and use your diaper like a good little girl.”

“No! I won’t!” I screamed at him. This was ridiculous! I was telling him I didn’t want to use my diaper for its intended purpose, and he was ignoring me. It wasn’t like it was something stupid, like not eating my vegetables. This was a basic human need he was denying me!

“If that’s the case, then I guess someone will be getting another enema!” he growled right back at me and then left the room.

Panic swelled in my chest. This situation reminded me too much of how Boyle had treated me. I was not going to allow him to give me an enema or boss me around anymore. I’d had enough. I needed to get out of here. If he was starting to remind me of Boyle, I was afraid that soon he wouldn’t give me any control at all.

I saw the cordless phone on top of his dresser across the room and I knew that it was my only chance. If I could just call Mark or Samantha or Jackson, they would help me. They would respect my wishes. I carefully turned so my legs were hanging over the bed, and then stood up on only my right leg since my left leg was in a cast.

I began to hop over to the dresser, hoping beyond all hope that I could reach the phone before Robert came back. I was just about there when I hopped too far and fell down.

“Ouchie!” I screamed as I landed on my side.

“Juliana?” Robert called. I could hear him racing up the stairs. “Are you okay, sweetie? Here, let me help you,” he said, running over to try and grab me.

“No! Stop! No!” I screamed, fighting his hands.

“Juliana! I’m trying to help you! Stop fighting me, little girl!” he growled, continuing to attempt to pick me up.

“Leave me alone, Boyle!” I screamed, and then both Robert and I froze. He looked at me like I’d just told him he was the worst person in the world.

“R-Robert, I’m so sorry!” I said, right as I began to cry. How could I have let this happen? I didn’t even know how it happened. My loving boyfriend had turned into the type of boyfriend I’d vowed to never date again.

Strong arms lifted me up as I cried, and to my shock, he carried me into the bathroom. He helped me get my pajamas and diaper off and then left the room.