Lacey's Luhpynes(16)

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Four hours later, longer than he'd planned, he was at Zhubin's Earth  home. It was his, too, but Ansell preferred being on the other side of  the Veil line when he finally slept. It wasn't because of the fact he  didn't fully trust humans. He did. But it was because, when he finally  broke down to sleep, he slept like the dead. And only the chamber in his  other-side home was equipped to keep him safe.

Letting himself in Ansell let out a breath before shutting the door and  locking it. Moving in a nearly silent manner he headed for the voices he  could hear in the kitchen. Lacey's scent was starting to permeate the  air. She'd been there a while. Pausing, he took a deep breath and let it  soothe his beast. Opening eyes he hadn't realized had drifted shut, he  stepped around the door into the kitchen.



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"Ansell." Zhubin's voice alerted her that they weren't alone. He got up  and moved around to a spot at her back. There was a low conversation in,  well hell, what was that? It wasn't English, that was for sure. Then  both men came around her seat into view again.

"Lacey." Ansell acknowledged his mate.

"Ansell." Lacey watched him carefully and then, before she could stop  herself, blurted out, "You don't seem happy to see me, to see me here in  your home where I am now. Are you positive that you are going to be all  right with me being around as much as I plan on being around? I want a  life here, I want a life with the two of you but not if you don't want  it. Will you talk to me, please?"

Both men were staring at her like she'd sprouted a second head. "I just  got here, had a long bad day, give me a few minutes to relax, huh. And  why wouldn't I want you around?" he asked, looking confused.

"I don't know. I just … " There was a pause, a hesitation. "Honestly I've  been worried like crazy that I wouldn't be good enough for the two of  you. I'm human and you two are so very much amazing and fantastic men. I  don't know how to be good enough for you."

"Not all that amazing," he said, opening the juice up. "And you're more  than good enough, Lacey. You're the one we worry about not being good  enough for. We are, after all, the outsiders here, Lacey. The fact you  even put up with us as your partners as long as you have stuns me. I  would have thought you'd kick us to the curb long ago."

Snorting, she laughed. "Honey, you boys are far too attractive to kick  to the curb. Add to that the fact that you are mine, there was no way  that I was letting either of you go. I personally happen to adore you  boys, everything about you. I need you both in my life, a great deal. I  want you both in my life, a great deal. Now and for all time."

"Then why are you worried?" he asked, lifting the bottle to drink it  down slowly. He closed his eyes as he lowered the bottle and rolled his  head around on his neck. "I'm going to hit the shower before I contact  the Regent."

"Go for it," Zhubin told him. "Dinner will be ready in about an hour."

"I want to discuss with the two of you to find out who would want to be  the father of our children, who wants that honor?" She blurted out  quickly before she couldn't get those words out of her mouth.

"So Zhubin has discussed much with you," Ansell said, shooting his  friend a look. "Good, then you know how to make the choice too." Moving  suddenly, he stopped next to her and touched her cheek with a finger.  "Listen to your instincts, Lacey, go with the choice that's best for  you." That said, he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

She was ready to scream. "I have no fucking idea what to do. I don't  know which way to turn, what to do or how to do it." Rising, she moved  to Zhubin and leaning against the door said, "I don't know what to do. I  really don't. Help?"                       
       
           



       

"We can't make the decision for you," he said softly. "Come, I'll call  the Regent and have him bring mother on. You and she can talk privately  while I finish the vegetables and get the table ready. She will help you  with the choice, Lacey. She had to make it herself, so she will guide  you in the decision."

Lacey reached out and grabbed Ansell. "What do you want? This isn't fair  at all, knowing how much I want you, how much I need you in my life.  It's not fair choosing who will be the father of any children that we  have. I don't like it. At all. I want to know what the two of you think.  Who wants to be the sperm donor even though you will both be father to  any child that we have."

He looked down at her before looking to Zhubin. He didn't speak for a  long time before he looked at her once more. "You need to look at all  the information before you and follow your heart. I don't know what to  tell you, Lacey. It's been this way since things changed in our realm.  I … " He paused and ran a hand through his hair. "That's the best I can  advise, little mate."

"I can't make a decision without knowing just what it is that you guys  want and need as well. We are all in this together. It's not just me,  it's all three of us. This is such a massive choice, a huge decision. I  never want for one of you to look back one day and be angry with me  because you aren't the biological father to our children. Please," she  begged.

Ansell let out a low growl as he faced her fully. His large hands  gripped her waist and lifted her, her ass hitting the counter a moment  later. It put her almost eye to eye with him, definitely helped by the  fact he leaned in. "My personal opinion is that you should choose  Zhubin. I know nothing of my past, including my genetic background. He's  the better choice in every way. Now, I really need a shower before I  call the Regent. So if you'll excuse me." He stepped away and left the  kitchen.

Lacey growled and marched right off after him. "Don't you dare walk away  from me," she grumbled. Grabbing him, she turned him to face her.  "Ansell." She touched her fingers to his cheek. "Ansell, you mean so  very much to me. You truly do. I love you every bit as much as I love  Zhubin. I could give a good hairy hot damn who your genetic donors are,  your family is who you make it and if you ask me, you have a damn good  one."

"That I do, but you also wanted my take on it, Lacey. You have it, make  of it what you will," he told her softly. "I never wanted kids, ever. So  maybe that's what you need to hear to understand why I said what I did.  I don't mind others' children but I have never once wanted any of my  own. Zhubin doesn't know that and I'd appreciate you never telling him."

"But." Lacey hesitated and felt her heart hurting, it felt like it were  going to explode. "You don't want children. Do you want me?" she  whispered, the hurt and uncertainty clear in her tone. "Because one day I  truly do want children. I want to be able to have a family, have  babies. I really do."

"Of course I want you, Lacey," he said quietly. Taking her hand in his  he tugged her toward the living room. Sitting in a chair, he pulled her  into his lap. "I just never wanted to father children and I never will. I  know that hurts you, Lace. Don't say it doesn't because I can scent it  on you. But I will gladly be there with you and Zhubin as you have your  babies. I may never be fully comfortable with a label of dad, but if  that's what it takes to have you in my life then I'll live."

"I want you to be happy, Ansell," Lacey told him honestly, and with a  sigh, moved from him. "I think that, I don't know what to think." She  didn't want to force anything on him but it was very clear that he  didn't want to be a father. He didn't want that type of family and  that's just what she wanted. As much as it hurt her she said, "I need  time to think. If you will excuse me, please?" she whispered and stepped  outside of the living room and headed off. She needed time. Time alone.  She needed to think. A great deal. "I'm not saying no, I just … " She  turned around and looked at Ansell once more. "So you don't want to be  father to my children, but I'm asking you. Point blank, how would you  feel if a child of mine called you daddy?"

"It would surprise me since I wasn't their father," he said. "But that  would be yours and their choice. I won't lie, Lacey. It will likely  freak me the hell out. I may even hyperventilate and require a paper  bag. But it's not the end of the world. When they are older they will be  told the full truth, that's all I ask."                       
       
           



       

"So you wouldn't want to be the children's father, even if only by  name?" she asked softly. "I'm trying to get this all straight here in my  mind. I want to get this all straight. Why wouldn't you want a child to  call you father when you would be their father, if not from genetics  then by your tie to me?"