Kissing the Killer(73)

Fucking hell. I shook my head, trying to concentrate, but I couldn’t. My heart was pounding like crazy, and I was sweating as I took aim again, trying to steady myself.

The only thing in my mind was Emma.

After another minute, I slowly crawled back into the hallway. I stood up, slung the rifle over my shoulder, and climbed back out the window. I shuffled noiselessly down the drain pipe.

Once I was on the ground, I ditched the rifle in a garbage can and started walking back toward my apartment.

It was the first time I’d ever left a target alive. I’d never gone out for a kill and left before the man was finished.

But lying up there on the catwalk, the man’s skull in my sights, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It wasn’t the idea of killing that bothered me. I was still a killer deep down in my heart. No, it was the idea of killing for the mob.

I didn’t want to kill for them anymore. I didn’t believe in their shit, didn’t have it deep inside me anymore. There was only Emma in there now, even though I wanted her out, even though she was the one who walked out on me. Killing Dante and his thugs had been easy, since that was to protect Emma. Ever since she came into my life, she was the only person I wanted to kill for.

The fucking mafia was going to have to deal with that. I didn’t know what I’d do, but I’d figure it out. I’d have to leave the city, of course, get somewhere far away. As soon as Clint figured out that I’d backed down, he’d come looking, along with all the other killers.

I needed to run far and fast.

I had money. I was ready. I had the skills to survive.

I’d rather live my life on the run, hiding out in the small corners of the world, than keep killing for the fucking mob. I wouldn’t use my skills for shit I didn’t believe in, not ever again.



* * *

As I stood in the middle of the apartment I’d spent the last few years in, I realized that I didn’t have much. I had a stack of cash shoved into a bag, some clothing, some weapons, a spare combat vest, and that was it.

The rest of my stuff, it was just the leftovers of a life that was long past over. I didn’t need any of it, not a single thing. I was ready to burn it all down and start over.

I’d miss Chicago. I grew up in the city, became the man I was in the city. Chicago was all I had ever known, and for a second I experienced a pang of regret inside me as I thought about never seeing the city again.

But it was better that way. I didn’t want to be tempted to go back to my old life. I had to make a clean break and be done with it. I had to decide to become a new man and really do it.

I hefted my bag onto my shoulder and checked the magazine of my gun. I didn’t know who was coming for me, but I was sure they’d be coming sooner or later. I had to be prepared.

I took one last look at the apartment. The memory of Emma came back to me. I remembered her body, her taste, the way she felt as I touched her and made her come. I should’ve had so many other memories of the apartment, but she was all that came back to me.

As I turned toward the door, ready to leave, someone knocked.

I went completely still and slowly lowered my bag to the ground. I listened and moved toward the door, my gun up and ready.

This could be it. I didn’t expect them to come this fast, but maybe Clint didn’t bother waiting for backup. Maybe that cocky bastard was coming right for me, or maybe he didn’t realize what I had done. Maybe he didn’t realize that by walking away from a kill, I was walking away from the mafia itself.

But then again, why would he knock? If he was coming to kill me, it would be smarter to kick down the door and start shooting, not bothering to give me a chance.

I looked out the peephole cautiously and then threw open the door.

Emma stood there. “Brooks,” she said, sounding breathless. “I thought you weren’t home.”

“I’m here.”

She bit her lip. “Can I come in?”

I nodded and let her past. Then I shut the door behind her. “I thought you were with the Spiders now.”

“Yeah, I was. I mean, I am.” She looked nervous and so damn sexy. I could feel my pulse quickening. “I had to talk to you.”

“What else is there to say?”

She glanced down at my clothes and at the bag on the floor. “Are you leaving?”

I nodded. “Walked away from a kill tonight. I need to get out of town before they come after me.”

“You left the mob?”

“I couldn’t kill for them anymore.” I shrugged, smirking at her. “Not after everything.”

“That’s why I came back,” she said, suddenly bursting out of her nervousness. “I made a deal for you. Brooks, come join the Spiders. I told Louisa I wouldn’t come without you, and she agreed that she’d take you if you promised to kill for her.”