Killing Kate(54)
Kate rolls her eyes. “Whatever. It’s charity.”
He sighs. “I guess I’ll go home.” He begins to gather his clothes off the floor and Kate grabs his arm.
“Why not stay with me?” she asks him. “I won’t tell Jenna. We don’t even have to do anything. And I can show you something you might want to see.”
“Show me what?” Justin asks, standing up and buttoning his jeans. He looks around and picks up his t-shirt off the floor. “I think I’ve seen all I want to see for tonight.”
“Oh, that,” Kate says, flipping her hand at the television. The DVD has stopped playing and the screen casts a blue glare through the room. “I can show you all sorts of movies like that. And I don’t mean the ones that were taken from the house, either.”
“What do you mean, movies?” Justin asks, looking at Kate. She smiles and pulls Justin toward her and begins to whisper in his ear and stops. Her expression glazes over and her lips stop moving….
*
“Kate? Jenna? Hello?” I feel Justin shaking me and I can’t figure out what’s happened. We’re in my bedroom and its dark except for the blue glow of the television. Justin is sitting beside me, looking perplexed.
“Was she here?” I ask him. He nods. “Shit, what happened?” Then I remember what I’d just seen and what Justin had just seen with me when I feel the glow of the television. My head sinks into my hands. “Fuck.”
“Jenna,” Justin says, pulling me toward him. “You need to talk to me. Do you think you can stay around long enough as yourself to help me understand a few things?”
I bite my lip and nod but I am not sure. I suddenly feel drunk. I might not have the best control over what I do right now. “I’ll try my best,” I say. “But if you start to get angry, please try not to show it. I’ll understand that you are, but you need to stay calm if you want me to stay myself. And try not to lead the conversation anywhere differently. I want to tell you everything but it’s hard to when I get pushed.”
“Okay,” he says, nodding. “I’m not angry but I’m confused and I’m hoping you can help me get the big picture.”
“The thing is,” I say, “I don’t really know the big picture.”
“But Kate does,” Justin says, “She just said something to me that I think might be important. I think if we try hard enough we can merge the two perspectives.”
“That sounds like some therapy shit,” I tell him. “Are you going to be my therapist?”
Justin shrugs. “Maybe it’ll work. I’ve been doing some research about D.I.D.”
I roll my eyes. “Anyone can Google some shit about D.I.D. It doesn’t make them a therapist.”
“But you are comfortable with me, I hope?” he asks. “I mean, I know you are more comfortable with Devin, and if that’s the case and you want me to fuck off, just say so.”
I sigh. “I’m willing to try anything. I just don’t have much faith that anything will work.”
“Is there a way I can address difficult subjects with you without you changing into Kate?” Justin asks.
I shrug. “Without medication it's hard to control. I haven’t really mastered it. And with medication, Kate is just gone.” I suddenly get an idea. “You can try talking to Kate, though. There are ways to get information out of her.”
Justin considers this for a moment and nods. “Okay,” he agrees. “Any advice for talking to her?”
I think about that. “She's harsh. I think the best way to do it is argumentatively. Confront her. Don't hold back.” I look at him and force myself to smile. “I guess you can take the same approach with me.”
“I wouldn't,” he says. “You just told me to do the opposite.”
I take his hand and pull him to me. “It needs to be done. Something happened that night that I asked you to pick me up and I think I might be in trouble.”
I go on to explain about how I originally became involved with Drake. I was attracted to his charm and probably his money, but when Justin made his feelings clear to me, I wanted to end things with Drake because I realized that Drake was good for Kate, but not for me, and I needed to do what was best for me. At the time it wasn't blatantly obvious but I realize that now. That night I went to Drake's to break things off and he showed me the video he had taken of us, the same video that he dropped off earlier at the housewarming party, in my DVD player right now, I felt violated. Then he took everything too far and raped me. I watch Justin's face as I tell him everything, but he is unreadable, and I'm not sure if I'm comfortable with that or terrified. “What are you thinking?” I ask him finally when there is no more to say.