Just The Way You Are(89)

He winced at her harsh tone. "I'm sorry."

She softened. "No, I'm sorry. None of this is your fault. I just hate this place. I sleep all day, then I can't sleep at night, and it's so lonely then." What she didn't tell him was that she couldn't sleep because her dreams of John were growing more haunting. He kept going deeper in the water, and she could feel the water lapping at her own bare feet as he called to her with passion in his eyes, in his voice, in his outreached hands—hands that he wanted her to take, only she kept waking up before she could take them.

She loved him so much, but the dreams were beginning to scare her, and she didn't know why.

"I'll stay with you at night," William offered, distracting her from her thoughts.

"You can't be with me twenty-four hours a day or you will wind up in here along with me."

"It would be worth it."

She looked into his comforting brown eyes and wondered for the thousandth time why he was still here. "You should go back to Philadelphia, William."

"I'm not leaving you like this. Once you're on your feet, we'll talk about our plans."

"Maybe you should make your plans without me."

"I don't think so. I'm going to get some coffee. Would you like me to bring you anything from the cafeteria?"

"No, thanks." She sighed as he left the room, wondering why he didn't go when he would be so much happier without her. But he refused to see the truth.

"Grams?" Tessa asked from the doorway. "Are you up to visitors?"

"Tessa, sweetheart, come in."

Tessa came over and planted a cool kiss on Phoebe's forehead. There had always been more distance between them, more formality, than between her and Alli, but Phoebe didn't mind. She understood Tessa just as she understood Alli. But there was something different about Tessa this morning, a sense of excitement that she seemed desperate to hide.

"How are you?" Tessa asked.

"I'm fine," Phoebe said automatically. "I think the better question is how are you?"

"Pretty good."

"You look it. What's happened?"

"Nothing has happened. I'm just happy to see you awake and talking. Your speech is better, isn't it?"

"It seems to be. I thought you and Alli might have found the pearl."#p#分页标题#e#

"When we do, you'll be the first to know."

Phoebe's heart sank. They hadn't found it yet.

And the Fourth of July was only two days away. "But I do have some good news," Tessa said quickly. "Alli and I have declared a truce on the past."

"That is good news." Phoebe gave a heartfelt sigh. At least something positive had come of her illness.

"I feel like we can all move on now."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not sure exactly."

Phoebe saw the nervous light in Tessa's eyes, the restless fidgeting of her fingers against her side, and knew Tessa hadn't begun to move on, as she called it. "Do you still love Sam?"

Tessa cast a quick look at the door, as if she were afraid someone was listening. Once she could see they were alone, she took the chair next to the bed.

"I think I do, Grams. I think that's why I haven't been able to get serious about anyone else."

"Oh, Tessa."

"I want what you and Grandpa had, a strong, enduring love and marriage."

"With Sam."

"Yes. And before you say anything, I'm not trying to break up Sam and Alli. They were broken up before I got here. You know I wouldn't do anything to get Sam if they were still together."

"Of course you wouldn't." Phoebe looked up as William came back in the room. He stopped when he saw Tessa.

"Good morning, Tessa," he said.

"Good morning."

"Don't get up. I forgot my newspaper. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"He's devoted to you," Tessa said with a smile. "Do you know how much he loves you?"

"How much or how little?"

"What do you mean?" Tessa asked in surprise.

How could Phoebe explain it? And yet she had to explain it, because it suddenly occurred to her that Tessa and William had something in common. "William believes that my parents forced me to marry your grandfather because of money and business connections. While it was true that they wanted the marriage, it was also true that when I met John MacGuire I fell in love with him. John took me on a wonderful adventure. He freed my spirit, Tessa. He made me see that I could be the woman I was meant to be. We had a wonderful life together. He was my soul mate."

"You were lucky."

"I was lucky. But William always thought that if I hadn't been forced to marry John, I would have married him. He believed that his lack of money and social standing had made him unworthy, so he spent the rest of his life amassing money and power. He married twice, had a son, but never felt happy."