Jess's Promise(26)

‘The baby,’ she mumbled sickly.

‘I’m sorry, I’m very sorry that I got you involved in this,’ Cesario muttered roughly. ‘I know that’s not good enough but, apart from money, it’s all I’ve got to give you right now.’

Jess lifted what shreds of dignity remained to her and dealt him a scornful smile of dismissal. ‘I don’t need your money!’

‘I’m signing the Halston Hall estate over to you this week.’

Jess was trembling; appalled by the way he was concentrating on financial arrangements for their separation when her heart was breaking up inside her and her sense of loss was dragging her down so deep and so fast she felt as if she were drowning. ‘Oh, goody, I’ll own the Dunn-Montgomery ancestral home—how fitting!’ she exclaimed with a brittle laugh, desperate to hide her pain and spinning around in an unchoreographed half circle to conceal her emotion from his keen appraisal. ‘What are you talking about?’ ‘I never got around to telling you but I’m actually an illegitimate Dunn-Montgomery,’ Jess told him in an artificially bright voice. ‘Robert Martin married my mother when I was ten months old but I wasn’t his child. My father is the member of parliament, William Dunn-Montgomery, although he will never admit the fact. He was a student when he got my mother pregnant—’

‘And that’s why Luke was so taken with you at our wedding—he knows he’s your half-brother!’ Cesario guessed, frowning at her in sudden comprehension as he made that familial connection. ‘Madre di Dio! Is that why you married me? To get Halston Hall?’

Thunderstruck by that suggestion, Jess stared blankly back at him.

‘I can see that my ownership of the house would have been a major attraction to someone in your circumstances,’ Cesario said drily.

Jess had turned pale. ‘Someone in my circumstances?’

‘You said yourself how fitting it would be that you should own the former ancestral home of the Dunn-Montgomerys, when your birth father refuses to even acknowledge your relationship,’ Cesario extended. ‘I don’t mind. In fact it’s a relief if Halston Hall can in some way compensate you for the way in which I’ve screwed up your life.’

There was a note of finality to that assurance. His dark golden eyes were cool, his stubborn sensual mouth composed in a firm line. For the first time since her arrival she knew exactly what he was thinking: he had said all he had to say to her and now he was ready for her to leave. For several seconds she withstood the steady onslaught of his gaze, because a crushing sense of rejection was holding her in a near state of paralysis, and then she moved away on feet that felt as if they didn’t belong to the rest of her body.

Cesario was making a phone call in his own language but both his voice and actions seemed to be happening far away at the end of a long dark tunnel. Jess felt detached from her surroundings and horribly lightheaded.

‘You’ll be driven home…no, don’t argue with me,’ Cesario urged as her lips parted. ‘You’re pregnant. I don’t want you struggling to find a seat on a packed train during the rush hour.’

With enormous effort, Jess focused on him. She dimly recognised that she was in a state of shock so profound that she could barely think, but there was one question that she could not suppress. ‘You said your condition had got worse…how long?’ and her voice ran out of steam altogether and just vanished in the awfulness of what she was saying.

‘They’re not quite sure. Not more than six months,’ he proffered with unnatural calm. ‘I do have one favour to ask…’

‘What?’ Jess prompted shakily, for the number six was whizzing round and round inside her head as if someone had turned on a manic mixer.

‘Would you mind if Weed and Magic lived with me? For as long as that’s practical,’ Cesario extended tight-mouthed.

Jess felt as if someone had their hands squeezing round her throat: it was that hard to breathe and there was a pain building in her chest. She was recalling the patient way he had learned hand signals so that he could communicate with the deaf terrier. ‘No problem,’ she said, schooling her voice to control it. ‘No problem at all.’

Rigo Castello escorted her in silence down to the basement car park and tucked her into a limousine. She remembered the older man’s behaviour when Cesario had collapsed and realised that he had been in on the secret as well. It seemed that of all the people close to Cesario she had been just about the only one kept in the dark. Deceived, lied to, shut out of the charmed circle and, although he wanted her dogs for company, he didn’t want her.





CHAPTER TEN


THE instant Jess laid eyes on her mother that evening she started to cry. Once she had let that flood of pent-up grief and despair flow freely there was no stopping it.

Shaken by the state her daughter was in, Sharon Martin took some time to grasp the situation that her daughter was describing between heartbroken sobs. When Jess had finally mopped her eyes dry, her eyelids were so swollen she could hardly see out of them. But she had only to think of Cesario and more moisture trickled down her quivering cheeks.

‘You’re the first person in my family ever to go to university and yet when it comes to a real crisis you act as if you’re as thick as two short planks!’ Sharon pronounced, shocking her daughter right out of her self-preoccupied silence.

‘How can you say that?’ Jess gasped.

‘The man you say you love is dying and you’re still whinging on about how he lied to you! What are you thinking of?’ the older woman demanded.

The man you love is dying. And there it was, the simple fact that had frozen Jess’s ability to reason at source. That news had torn her apart, both angering and terrifying her, for she did not know how to handle something so enormous and threatening that it affected her entire world and destroyed even the future.

‘Cesario lied to protect you and, by the looks of it, he knew what he was doing when he lied, because you’re sitting here being useless!’ Sharon scolded. ‘Where is your brain, Jess? He doesn’t want you to feel that you have to stay with him because you’re his wife and he’s ill. He knows you didn’t sign up for that and he clearly never intended to tell you. Obviously he thought he was going to have more time with you. He doesn’t want your pity. That’s why he told you that you could have a separation right now, so that you are free to do whatever you like.’

Blinking rapidly, Jess stared back at her mother. ‘What I like?’ she echoed.

‘A week ago you were in Italy with Cesario and you were both very, very happy, weren’t you?’ Sharon voiced that reminder gently.

‘Yes, but—’

‘No buts. Cesario can’t have changed that much in the space of a few days. He’s just giving you the chance to escape getting involved in his illness.’

‘You honestly believe he’s trying to protect me rather than get rid of me?’ Jess whispered shakily.

‘I think that’s the only reason he lied all along. He’s trying to be a tough guy and deal with his condition alone.’

Jess swallowed the thickness in her throat and stared down at her feet with glazed eyes. ‘I don’t think I can handle losing him,’ she framed gruffly.

‘Then don’t give up. By the sound of it, he’s already given up, so he doesn’t need more of the same from you. There may still be room for hope. You tell him he has to give the treatment a go—for your sake and the baby’s,’ the older woman proffered briskly. ‘With any luck, it won’t be too late for him to change his mind.’

Jess grasped that thought like a mental lifeline and held fast to it. ‘I’ve been stupid, blind, self-obsessed…’

‘You were in shock and now you’ve had the chance to think things through. You have to fight for most things in life that are worth having.’

‘I’ll go back to London…’

‘Tomorrow. Right now you’re exhausted and you need a good night’s sleep before you do anything,’ Sharon told her firmly. ‘You have to look after yourself and the baby now.’

The next morning Jess had a routine surgery to carry out and it was the afternoon before she had the leisure to think. A deep longing for Cesario’s presence clawed at her, filling her with fear of the future all over again, but also hardening her resolve to take action. She drove back to the hall, gazing out at the gracious old house, and while marvelling that it was now her home she frowned at the sight of the pair of vans already parked outside.

It was an unpleasant surprise to walk into the big hall and see a stack of boxes piled up. Looking beyond them, she could see the amount of activity going on in Cesario’s office, people moving about busily while desk and cupboards were cleared and packed. Her heart sank to the soles of her feet and she felt sick: he was already moving out!

Without any warning, Cesario appeared in the doorway, Weed and Magic at his heels. That he looked so healthy with his vibrant golden skin tone hit her like a slap in the face, while the cloaked and unrevealing darkness of his gaze simply hurt her. Once again she felt excluded, on the outside when she wanted to be involved in everything he did.