[Jedi Quest] - 00(6)

“No!” Anakin shouted.

Shmi looked directly at him for the first time. He saw the fear, the terror. This seemed familiar to him as well, as though it were a memory rather than a vision. But had he ever seen his mother afraid? Not that he could remember.

He wanted to bury himself in her arms, feel her strength, but he could not. He could not make the fear on her face go away. Was he seeing something that had actually happened? Or was he seeing the future? At that thought, his own fear rose.

Anakin felt the fear as a living thing, an oozing organism that filled his body and threatened to choke him. He fought against it. Fear would make him soft. He would make the fear hard. He would twist it and make it into a weapon. A weapon of anger. Anger was productive.

Obi-Wan had told him to accept the fear. He could not do it. If he breathed it in, it would fill his lungs and choke him. But anger he could direct.

“I’ll kill you!” he shouted to the shadowy figure. The shadowy figure laughed.

“I will!” Anakin ran at the shadow and could not reach him. The vision disintegrated into particles of light.

With a last despairing look, Shmi disappeared as well.

In frustration, Anakin slammed his hand against the cave wall. Blood began to ooze from fissures.

You cannot save her, a voice said. No matter how many times you tell yourself you will. It is a dream. She lives the nightmare.

“Stop,” he begged. “Stop.”

As if the cave itself had heard him, everything stopped. The cave wall was smooth again. What had looked like blood was now just moisture. The darkness fell around him like a heavy blanket.

Shakily, Anakin moved forward. He felt sweat trickle down his forehead and cheeks. Ahead he saw a faint gleam on the floor of the cave.

“The crystals,” a voice said.

He turned. It was Obi-Wan. His Master smiled at him. “It’s time.”

Anakin’s step quickened. He leaned down to examine the cave floor. The crystals grew in intricate formations. Even in the dark cave, they glowed. He passed his hand over them without touching. He felt vibrations emanate from them. Slowly, he chose the three that seemed to speak to him. To his surprise, it was easy to break the pieces free. He placed them in the pouch hanging from his utility belt.

“Before you begin, you must meditate,” Obi-Wan said. “Go into a trance state, Anakin. Cleanse your mind. Then your feelings will guide your intent.”

Anakin sat on the floor of the cave. He emptied the contents of the pouch onto his lap. He held the three crystals in his palm. They had a strange warmth.

Accessing the Force was not difficult for him, even now. He felt it rise around him from the dirt and rocks and air, and especially from the crystals themselves. He felt comforted by that sureness.

“Now begin.” Obi-Wan’s voice was soft.

His Master gave him a gentle, encouraging smile. But suddenly, Obi-Wan’s face changed. Strange markings covered his skin. Horns sprouted from his bald head. The smile became a smirk, and Anakin saw blackness and evil.

It was Qui-Gon’s murderer. Obi-Wan had described him in detail.

Anakin sprang to his feet, scattering the crystals.

“Did I startle you?” the Sith Lord asked. He began to circle around Anakin. “Perhaps you need to work on those Jedi reflexes. You’re almost as clumsy as Qui-Gon.”

Rage pumped through Anakin. Qui-Gon had risked so much to take Anakin away. He had been the one to see that Anakin could be a Jedi Knight. Anakin owed him everything. He reached for his training lightsaber, but it flew out of his hand.

The Sith laughed. “A child’s toy. Try this.” He threw something at Anakin. It was a fully fashioned lightsaber, beautifully balanced, with an austere hilt. Just the kind of lightsaber Anakin would make.

He activated it, and the laser glowed red.

“Why do you fear your anger?” the Sith Lord asked. In a casual gesture, he activated his own double-edged lightsaber. “Why do you fear your hate? I can feel it. You hate me. It is natural.” He bared his teeth. “After all, I gutted your friend like an animal.”

With a howl torn from his belly, Anakin threw himself at the Sith. Their lightsabers tangled. Their faces were close. He could smell the Sith’s foul metallic breath.

“You see?” Anakin’s enemy purred. “You see what anger can do? It gives you power. It is something you can use, like a weapon. You thought the same thing a moment ago. You will twist your fear into a weapon. Why deny it?”

“No,” Anakin said, driving his lightsaber toward the Sith again. “I will learn to let my anger go. I am a Jedi.”

“Fool,” Qui-Gon’s killer hissed. “There are other paths to power.”