JACE-1(Lane Brothers, Book 3)(46)

Jace stiffens at my words and I let him go when he paces away, running a hard hand through his hair.

“The day met you I knew that I would love you. It was just so natural and right when you looked at me and I saw the woman you were trying to be despite the restraints your parents put on you. And I did, Trace. I fell so hard and so fast that by the time I came up for air we were here and living together as if we’d known each other all our lives.”

That’s true. After those first few days of getting to know each other, Jace and I just clicked. I would have walked on coals for him if he asked, and I know he would have done the same for me. But he’s right; the intensity was almost crippling, it was so deep, and there were times when I was downright scared of what he made me feel.

“And then my CO called and I knew that it was only a matter of time before my real life intruded on us. It scared me, you know, thinking that I’d be going off to war while you stayed behind and waited for me. And then I thought about us having babies and you being alone to raise them and…I couldn’t hack it. The pressure was too great for me. Stupid and selfish, I know, but I just couldn’t…”

He doesn’t finish and I feel so sad for him in that moment. Maybe he left me because he was a coward, or maybe he left because some part of him wanted more for me than he thought he could give.

The answer no longer matters as I watch the man I love, my husband, look at me with so much regret and love that I feel it like a physical caress.

“Don’t leave me again, okay?” I say tearfully, after minutes pass with him just staring, waiting for my response. “I wouldn’t survive it this time.”

Jace relaxes and is across the room and on me so fast, I gasp when he lifts me clear off the floor and starts kissing me as if he can’t breathe without me.

“Never. I almost killed myself with work the last time. I’d never survive without you again, Trace,” he vows, kissing me again with a little more heat now that the talking is over and he realizes that I’ve given him the forgiveness he needs but hasn’t asked for.

We’ve talked a lot and I got that impression from some of his slips that Jace blamed me for leaving as much as he blamed himself. In his convoluted logic, he got it in his head that I should have stayed in town and just carried on living while he supported me till I got back on my feet.

That attitude is a little insulting, and I still want to bash him over the head for even thinking that way, but I keep my peace as he kisses me deeply and rips my last remaining clothes free, leaving me bare and so aroused suddenly that I practically attack him to get his clothes off.

We’re both laughing and groaning by the time he’s naked and pushing me to the bed, and I want nothing more than to just pull him down and over me and have him inside me right now.

He has other ideas, though, and I squeak when he flips us over and I find myself on top and resting on his chest. All our important parts melded and touching.

“This is your day, babe. I’m yours. I belong to you. Do whatever you want, and I swear I will make you so happy, you won’t ever remember a day that we weren’t together,” he growls, pulling me down to seal our mouths again.

I’ve been on top before, but this time is different and I know why. Jace is giving himself to me the only way he knows how, by surrendering the control he prizes so highly.

I kiss him back passionately and rise up slightly to reach down between us. When my hand wraps around the straining flesh of his erection, I’m almost tempted to slide down his body and enjoy the control he’s given me so freely today.

I don’t, though, because as heady as it is to think about rendering him speechless and wild with my mouth and hands, I’m at that point of desperation already as my juices side free and coat my sex, even as my clit throbs insistently between my folds.

I line us up with a moan and almost scream my relief when I lower myself slowly and feel him splitting me open for a possession that should be mine but belongs to him anyway.

I could probably go wild and fuck hard and deep at this point, and it would still be Jace possessing me.

My focus wavers when I have him fully in me, and I almost come then when his girth starts throbbing inside me, demanding I move or grind, anything to relieve us both.

The feeling is so earthy as I pull up slightly and lower down again, taking in the heavenly slide of his fullness filling me nigh to bursting. He’s so deep from this angle that it’s a struggle not to move at a pace that would end this all too quickly, but I’m tempted, really tempted when I look up to see him gazing at me with so much adoration, it’s humbling.