JACE-1(Lane Brothers, Book 3)(45)

“Breathe, dude, just breathe. She’s almost yours, bro,” Jared whispers, squeezing my shoulder as I swallow audibly when her foot leaves the last stair and she glides towards me in a dress that’s a cloud of perfect white and everything feminine.

By the time she reaches me and sides her soft hand into mine, I’ve caught my breath enough to get rid of the black spots floating in my vision and I can smile through the overwhelming joy I feel.

“Hi.”

Lame, Lane. You can do so much better than that, dude.

“You look amazing,” I whisper, and she giggles, standing on tiptoe to kiss me softly.

“And you look scared shitless, Lane.”

“Not scared,” I whisper back, taking her hand to walk her the rest of the way to the preacher. “Just terrified that you’ll change your mind and run screaming from the house.”

That gets another giggle and I look around when my brothers all chuckle and Pop gives me the thumbs-up while Ma starts bawling like a baby.

“Nope. You’ll have to pry me loose with a crowbar, Lane,” she says loudly enough that even Ma can laugh through her tears. “I’m in this to win it.”

“You’re my prize,” I whisper back, ignoring Jared’s ribbing and Miah’s retching sounds when we reach the preacher and he starts intoning some shit that makes my teeth ache.

“You think you can hurry this up, preacher man? We don’t have all day,” I mutter after the fourth speech about the bonds of marriage.

I already know how deeply bonded I intend to be with, Trace. I do not need some old man telling me what commitment is and making Trace shake the longer he continues his spiel.

The man harrumphs but gets with the program when Jared snarls and I’m kissing my bride minutes later to the sound of applause and the knowledge that I’ve finally got my girl.

***

Trace

My wedding afternoon is magical and every girl’s dream when the family finally lets us go and we move up to the room. I say afternoon because it took Jace about an hour to finally lose all patience and just grab me and run for the bedroom to the sounds of his brothers’ off-color ribbings and his mother’s protests.

Now that we’re here I’m nervous as hell and I don’t know why. Jace and I know each other intimately already, and there isn’t a thing that we haven’t done to each other after we reconnected.

This seems different, though, and I can only guess that it’s because we’re finally married and bound by more than just the promises whispered to each other in the early hours of the night after intense lovemaking and a lot of cuddling.

This is the real deal, and now that we’re here, I’m terrified to disappoint him somehow. What if he wakes up tomorrow and regrets this rash decision? We haven’t talked about anything important yet, and suddenly I’m afraid of what will happen once this ordeal is over and done with.

I’ve read stories about people coming together in times of great stress and loving each other crazily only to fall apart once they go back to the real world.

“Trace? Babe, are you okay?” he asks, coming up behind me after locking the door and pulling the curtains firmly shut.

The glide of his lips over my nape distracts me and I moan at the feel of his hands sliding the simple white sheath from my body. It’s only when I’m left in my bra and panties that he turns me and looks down at me earnestly.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes. No. I-I feel so scared suddenly,” I admit when he presses me to talk and I feel my tears slip free to slide down my cheeks.

“Scared? Why, babe?” he asks, leaning in to kiss the moisture on my cheeks.

“This is all so messed up and I feel like this happiness is only a dream, Jace. Roman is gone and Paulie…and everything is so intense. What if it all blows over and you wake up and realize you don’t really want me anymore? I mean, you left me before, and it must have been because there was something wrong with me, but I don’t know what and I’m scared and—”

The finger he places over my lips cuts me off and I find myself crushed to his chest as he squeezes me harshly.

“There will never be a day in my life when I don’t want you, Tracy Lane, and that’s the truth. Even when I forced myself to let you go, I was bleeding inside because it felt like I just cut off a part of me that I needed to survive.”

“Why? Why did you do it if you still loved me?” I ask tearfully, finally letting myself ask the questions I’ve been keeping locked away for days.

I know this is not the time and that I am ruining the moment, but I need to know. I have to know before I can let go of these feelings of fear and anxiety.