Infinity(84)

Aiden is the first one to speak. He leans forward and turns, facing me with a smirk on his lips. “Hey jizz stain. I think that was the equivalent to a mic drop.”

I chuckle. “You think?”

It’s amazing how great I feel. For the first time in memory, my chest is relaxed and able to expand freely. God, what an incredible feeling.

“You know every news station is going to lead with George singing, ‘The Cowboy Rides Away,’” he quips.

“My heart is sinking like a setting sun,” I speak with a rueful laugh as a smile cracks across my face.

Aiden adds, “Setting on all the things I wish I’d done.”

So, of course, I have to chime in as I tap my foot to the imaginary beat. “It’s time to say goodbye to yesterday. ”

Then the two of us smile and give each other the look. It’s the look all boys have before they have to meet with the principal over something bad they’ve done. We’re mischievous fourth-graders again. Together we sing, “This is where the cowboy rides away.”





And that was the last time that the media heard from me for more than five years…





Year One Post-Retirement





…“Who in hell does McKinney think he is? You don’t walk away from the game of football. It chews you up and spits you out. The game decides when you part ways. It’s not the other way around. He’s let his team down, the city of Dallas, all his fans, and most of all he’s disrespected the game. History will not remember his fantastic plays in both Super Bowls or his MVP trophies. His name is going to become synonymous with selfishness, just like Benedict Arnold stands for traitor. No one, and let me repeat this, no one has ever walked away from football at the top of his career.”



…“Let’s pretend for a moment that Colin is really retiring to spend more time with his family. I know, I know. It’s the oldest excuse in the book. Every CEO that’s fired says the same thing. But, for the sake of my argument, let’s pretend that it’s his real motivation. I mean, the guy did walk out of the ESPY Awards when the comedian was poking fun at his girl. So if McKinney is retiring to spend more time with his family, shouldn’t we all applaud the guy? I mean, we’re the first to call out professional athletes who have a ton of kids and don’t pay child support. Shouldn’t we reward the athletes who put their kids first?”



…“Well, football fans, more bad news. Apparently, Colin McKinney’s retirement was not just from football. Aiden Montgomery, McKinney’s agent, has confirmed that he’s also terminating all of his endorsement deals. Women and advertisers alike are weeping at the news.”



…“For the first time since Colin McKinney announced his controversial retirement from football four months ago, CharCol has been spotted out and about in Dallas, and she seems to be sporting a baby bump. The couple was dining at a local restaurant, and appeared very happy. Witnesses reported that Colin was overly affectionate, and stroked Charlie’s hand frequently throughout their lunch. He pulled the chair out for her and assisted her as she stood up. Next, the couple was photographed walking out of a building that houses an OBGYN’s office. Their daughter was not with them.”



…“We’re getting reports that CharCol are parents again. Our sources have confirmed that Colin McKinney and Charlie Collins have welcomed twins. No word on the sex of the babies or names. The twins join their older daughter, Ainsley, who’s one. Congratulations to the happy family.”



…“Controversial former Dallas quarterback Colin McKinney and his wife have sold their Dallas-area home. Sources close to the sale report this was the most expensive residential real-estate transaction of the year in Dallas. No word yet on if the couple is remaining in Dallas.”





Year Two Post-Retirement





… “The game of football misses number-eight Colin McKinney. The NFL reports that for the first time, their viewership numbers decreased instead of increasing as they’ve done every single year since the NFL has been televised. We’ve reached out to McKinney’s agent, Aiden Montgomery, hoping to get his reaction, but as of publication we’ve received nothing from the former football star.”





Year Three Post-Retirement





…“Is former Dallas quarterback and model Colin McKinney a recluse? Sources are reporting that McKinney suffers from severe a severe mental disorder that prevents him from leaving his home. We’re told that his paranoia is so acute that he demands that all of his food be tested for poison, and he refuses to trim his hair or nails. His children are not allowed to socialize with others, and are also not permitted outside of his home unless they’re under armed guard. We’re told his wife, Charlie, has taken a job at Texas A&M University to escape the demanding needs of Colin’s disease. How the mighty have fallen.”