Highland Courage(8)
Cathal seemed like a loving father, but there would have been few other options for him. If he didn’t arrange her betrothal to the attacker, he could have either quietly sent her to a convent or leveled an accusation of rape. An accusation would have opened the entire family and Mairead particularly, to public scandal. While if convicted, a rapist could be maimed or put to death, convictions were rare. Furthermore, once publicized, the rape would have made it difficult to ever secure a betrothal for Mairead. It is likely she would have ended up in a convent anyway. With this knowledge, how could a terrified lass have been expected to know what to do? If she were raped, she would not come to him as a virgin. Did that really matter? He didn’t want it to. If someone had hurt her, she hadn’t freely given herself to another man. Did it matter? Perhaps he was jumping to conclusions anyway. The betrothal was already set and there was no sense in borrowing trouble. He set his doubts aside. He believed he made the right decision by offering for her. Now he just had to figure out to handle a bride who had likely been brutalized in some way and was scared witless.
~ * ~
At Carraigile, the month flew by in a whirlwind of activity. The women of her family made what she considered an obscene amount of new clothing for her, not to mention a wide variety of household linens. She tried to temper their enthusiasm, but it was to no avail.
Her entire family, all of her siblings, their spouses, and children would be going to the wedding. Even Annag and Hogan with their three children would be traveling first to Carraigile then on to Cnocreidh with the rest of the family. This caused her the most distress because she believed there wouldn’t be a wedding. She begged her parents to go with her alone to Cnocreidh.
“Mama, please, can’t we just keep things simple? Not everyone needs to come. Just ye and Da can travel with me.”
“Mairead, love, what are ye talking about?”
“I just hate to cause so much trouble.”
“Trouble? Sweetling, everyone wants to attend your wedding.”
“But, Mama, listen to me. Maybe it would be better if we spread the visits out rather than everyone going all at once. Someone could visit every few weeks until Rowan’s wedding in May, and I wouldn’t miss ye all so badly.”
“Mairead, ye are being silly. Your Da and I couldn’t prevent your brothers and sisters from attending the wedding even if we wanted to, and we don’t. Besides, there will be representatives from our allies throughout the Highlands at this wedding. The Mathesons and the MacKenzies are both powerful clans and the other clans will expect a large wedding celebration as a sign of unity.”
Knowing clans from all over the Highlands were planning to attend the wedding horrified her. What if—no, she wouldn’t think about it. No matter what she did, there was no shielding her family from the embarrassment and shame that lay in store. If this shame was inevitable, she should stop it all now. She should tell her parents why this wedding couldn’t take place. The resulting scandal would be much less profound than if all of the Highlands turned up for her ill-fated wedding. Mairead, ye are a coward, spare your family this and accept the consequences. However each time she was on the verge of confessing, the specter of her attacker hovered in her thoughts, and she couldn’t do it. Would her father insist on finding the man and perhaps forcing a betrothal to him? She didn’t want to think about it—she couldn’t face it. She decided the scandal stemming from a cancelled wedding would be less painful for her family than the scandal of her lost innocence.
The day they left for Cnocreidh, several days before the wedding, her resolve began to slip once more. She glanced around at the massive MacKenzie entourage. It not only included her entire family but also two nursemaids, twenty MacKenzie guardsmen, and ten MacBain guardsmen. Sixty people in all prepared to ride out of Carraigile to attend a wedding that would never take place. The reality of the situation struck her full force. She was leaving her home, the cocoon where she had been safe for so long, and heading straight into utter shame and humiliation. Stop them. Tell them. How would they ever forgive her for letting this happen? She wanted to weep, but she hadn’t allowed herself to cry since that terrifying afternoon seven years ago. There was simply no point. Ye brought this misery on yourself, Mairead, and now ye have to deal with it. Taking a deep breath, she rode out of the courtyard and did not look back.
They arrived at Cnocreidh in the early evening, just before dark. A massive fortress, it stood on the top of a bare hill, making it impossible to approach unobserved. An inner wall surrounded the keep, while the outer wall enclosed the entire village. They entered through a manned barbican in the outer wall and rode through the village. Sixty people don’t arrive anywhere quietly; so many of the villagers came out of their homes to watch them pass. They entered the courtyard through another manned barbican in the inner curtain wall. Amid all the confusion around her, Mairead just sat on her horse, panic rising again. Dear God, help.