Here Be Sexist Vampires(24)

“I doubt it.”





Chapter Four





(Sam)



Seen as I knew I had a few hours before my time with the new recruits, I thought it was a good a time as any to go clothes hunting around the shops within The Hollow. Sebastian had given me a month’s wages in advance to allow me to afford to do so. He was beginning to feel more like a doting uncle.

I wasn’t surprised when Fletcher begged to come along, pressing forward the argument that seen as Jared was busy with the recruits and I wouldn’t be in the office he wasn’t needed right now. He even arranged for his boyfriend, Norm, who was just as cute as him, to take over on Fletcher’s desk. Basically Norm would serve as an office guard, though I couldn’t imagine who would have any wish to root through any of our files.

I was extremely impressed with the shops. There were at least five that specialised in clothing alone. Fletcher’s advice was more like pressure-selling.

He told me, “It’s a good job I’m here to help or you’d be walking round looking like a Tom-Boy, and we just can’t have that. You need something that compliments your figure.”

“I still need casual stuff for while I’m coaching the recruits.”

“Oh don’t be daft, a nice show of cleavage will make them better behaved.”

I had to admit it would have taken me a lot longer to shop if he hadn’t been my ‘wardrobe assistant’, as he called himself. He didn’t tot around having a gander, instead he seemed to know exactly what he was looking for and I swear he was like an animal in the jungle. It was like he could sniff out the clothing and my sizes. It was fascinating to watch.

Then before I knew it I’d have a handful of stuff to go try on. His input wouldn’t end there. He would then pass judgement on what suited me and what didn’t, and I have to say he was brutally honest. I actually learned a few things about myself that, truthfully, I couldn’t have cared less about. Apparently I have calves that would go with any skirt or shoes, a bust so ‘fantastic’ that skin-tight or flimsy tops should be my priority, a bum so ‘luscious’ that any tight jeans were ‘a must’, and hips that had ‘the softest flare’ so I should wear pants that fasten beneath them. Oh and he selected me some dresses; if I hadn’t specified that they could not be shorter than just above knee-length he’d have had me looking like a stripper. I drew the line when he wanted to help me pick out my underwear.

At first I was surprised to see that the stores sold things like make-up and shampoo and stuff, but then I realised that those must be for the humans. Personal hygiene isn’t an issue for vampires. Brushing my teeth or hair isn’t necessary. Nor are body lotions or perfumes. We each have our own alluring scent and the texture of our skin is beyond perfect, with no freckles or scars or moles. My skin will become paler over time due to my nocturnal lifestyle and lack of exposure to sunlight.

For the purpose of luring in prey, vampirism grants you sexual appeal by illuminating your best features. This means, for me, that my long dark hair is never unruly or greasy or tangled, it instead has a silky appearance and is extremely soft to the touch. My lips are constantly glossy and a plum-pink colour. My aquamarine eyes always look bright and inviting as though I’d used eye drops, and they have the darkest, thickest eyelashes to frame them. Still, I was no Keja.#p#分页标题#e#

Once the shopping was over, Fletcher and I had pasta for lunch at one of the cafes. He introduced me to a grape flavoured NST, which tasted like red wine – very nice and now officially my favourite. By the time I’d arrived back at my apartment there was no time for me to unpack all my shopping bags so I put my new batch of NSTs in the fridge and darted down to my office in the Command Centre.

Where the recruits’ personal files on my desk as I’d expected them to be? No.

I knew it was rude, but I searched Jared’s desk seen as he was intent on playing games. It would seem that he’d anticipated that I might do this as all his drawers were locked and nothing of interest was on the surface of the bureau. Plonker. Well he really didn’t know me at all if he thought that this would be enough to rock my resolve. I’d just have to learn about the recruits on meeting them.

Were they in the training arena waiting for me? No. Not even one of them. Were they all plonkers as well?

I ventured around the squads’ grounds, but there was no sign of any of them. Nor were they in the gymnasium or training with the other squads in the rainforests or even lounging lazily at the beach. After twenty minutes of wandering aimlessly, I tried the canteen. There they were having a freaking food fight. Yes, they really were plonkers as well.