Her Not-So-Secret Diary(26)

Shaking the confusing feeling away, he slid his fingers around her torso and unsnapped her bra. 'Let's lose the clothes.'

'Yes.'

He tugged her up onto her feet so that they stood toe to toe. He  stripped off his shirt, tossed it behind him while he watched her slip  out of her blouse. Pull off her bra. Shimmy skirt and panties over her  hips and down those amazingly long legs.

His blood pulsed through his body, throbbed in his erection, pounded low  and insistent in his ears. She left him spellbound. He forgot to draw  breath. Forgot to move until she reached out, undid his trousers with  quick fingers and shoved them to his ankles. His boxers next. He stepped  out of them, kicked them away. Then he realised the rest of her had  followed her hands to the floor and was crouched in front of him.

She looked up and met his eyes and the message he read there …  If he  hadn't been transfixed to the spot, he swore he'd have stumbled. Then  she reached out, her fingertips tracing his calves ever so gently,  drawing circles on the backs of his knees, over his thighs …

Then, by God …  Her face, her lips, a murmur away from his aching  erection. He could feel her breath, a sweet torture on his burning  flesh. His legs quivered. He fisted his hands in her hair as much for  support as to stop her. Because if she touched him there, now, he'd  explode …  And as tempting as that was, it just wouldn't be fair.

'Sophie … ' His hands still in her hair, he dragged her up against him  until they were eye to eye. 'Later,' was all he said as he tumbled her  back onto the quilt.





CHAPTER TWELVE




'I NEVER want to move again.' Sophie was tucked against Jared's shoulder  in the main bedroom now, watching the play of light from the pool's  reflection on the ceiling.

'Not even for ice cream?'

'Nope. I'm perfectly satisfied just as I am. You bought ice cream?'

'Yup.'

'Hmm.' They'd made love outside under the Southern Cross, then inside on  top of the white silk quilt cover. They'd taken a shower and he'd  seduced her again under the warm fragrant spray. She was well and truly  satisfied. She didn't want to think about tomorrow, or next week. Or  next month.                       
       
           



       

'But, oh, ye of great stamina,' she murmured, making an effort to lift  one finger, slide its nail over a hard pectoral muscle and feel him  shiver. 'If you're so inclined, I wouldn't object to you feeding me ice  cream.'

'Not in the bedroom. You have to eat it in the kitchen-'

'Pfft. You sound just like-' A father. 'A big brother. A big, bossy  brother.' Then because an image of him playing the daddy role threw her  thoughts into disarray, she said, 'Do you treat all your girlfriends  like they're kids?'

'I was going to say you have to eat it in the kitchen naked. Blackberry  ripple? Your dream fantasy? Okay,' he continued when she pressed her  lips together and didn't respond. He rolled onto his side and studied  her curiously. 'All my girlfriends?'

Sophie felt her skin heat and wished the words unsaid. 'Pam said you  attend staff functions with a different girl every time, so I just  assumed … '

Still watching her, he raised his brows as if it had never occurred to  him that his trusted PA liked to gossip. 'Pam's got it wrong.'

Who did Sophie believe? Could she ever trust a man's word again? 'So you  don't attend functions with a different girl each time?'

'Yes. No. Probably. Hell, I don't remember. It's not important enough.'  He blew out an impatient breath and rolled onto his back once more. 'I'm  no Casanova, Sophie, if that's what you think. I haven't got the time  for it.'

She regretted her words. Even as a lover, she had no rights where he was  concerned. Their relationship was temporary. She'd be gone soon and  he'd be a memory.

'You've never had someone special? Someone you might have dated more than once?'

His answer was a while coming. 'Bianca. But she was a long time ago.'

'Tell me about her.'

'Why? She's in the past.'

'I told you about Glen. Were you in love with her?'

'In love?' Flicking her a glance, he said the words as if they were in a  foreign language. 'We were too different,' he said at last.

Sophie wanted to know what had made him decide Bianca wasn't right for  him. What was Jared's ideal woman and what kind of partner would he want  on a permanent basis? 'Why were you attracted to her? How were you  different? What made you change your mind?'

He looked at her again, eyes glittering in the dimness, and she was glad of the shadows. 'So many questions, Sophie?'

'I'm just curious.' She shrugged beneath his scrutiny as if it didn't  matter. As if she didn't care. 'I like to understand people, that's all.  No big deal.'

'Just curious, eh?'

She heard that familiar pumped male ego in his lazy tone. He scratched his chest with his free hand and she wanted to hit him.

She watched his profile as he stuck his arm beneath his head and looked  up at the ceiling. 'We were the same in lots of ways. We both loved the  outdoors and enjoyed the same activities. But when it came right down to  it, she didn't want a kid interrupting the life she'd already mapped  out for the two of us. And I couldn't live with that.'

The way he coupled himself with the faceless woman made Sophie's stomach  clench. But the reason his relationship with Bianca hadn't worked out  was the same reason he'd never want long term with Sophie.

No kids wasn't an option for Jared.

The back of Sophie's throat, her eyes, burned with the sting of unshed  tears. Low in her belly the eternal aching emptiness unfurled, then  twisted in on itself. She didn't have what a man-any man-wanted in a  wife. She didn't have what it took to be the woman Jared would  eventually marry. And he would marry down the track a bit, she knew. If  what Pam said was true, he might be Playboy of the Gold Coast right now,  but he was the marrying kind, a family guy.

It wouldn't be her he'd settle down with. Because she could never give  him the babies she knew would be a non-negotiable part of any  commitment.

Desperate to change the mood, to put some space between them, she sat  up, reached for her plain cotton dressing gown with the pink polka dots  on the wicker chair by the bed. 'Tell you what, I've changed my mind.  I've decided I can move after all, and I want ice cream. In the kitchen.  Not naked.'

Right now she couldn't be naked and be with him at the same time.  Pulling on her dressing gown and hugging it around her like a security  blanket, she headed down the hallway, her feet silent on the marble  tiles. If he made a move on her any time soon she'd probably lose what  little composure she had left, and she would not allow him to see that.                       
       
           



       

She set a couple of bowls on the counter top, pulled the tub of ice  cream from the freezer. She'd just had a timely reminder that her life's  path lay in a different direction from his.

A path she'd chosen. A path she'd wanted for a long time. She was  jetting thousands of kilometres across the world. Independent. Living  her dream.

Strange how it suddenly didn't sound half as exciting as it had a few days ago.

'Okay, not naked.'

At the sound of Jared's voice, Sophie turned to see him not naked too.  He wore his boxers and a serious expression that asked too many hard  questions. About the way she'd escaped from their bed so quickly.

Lose the angst fast, Sophie. She dipped her finger in the ice cream and licked its cold creamy-tart taste. 'It's good.'

'It's blackberry.' His eyes had that familiar wicked glint.

'I noticed.' She dipped her finger in again, held the blob to Jared's lips. Keep things bright.

They watched each other as he sucked it off her fingertip, but he was  attuned enough to her mood to say, 'Let's sit somewhere comfortable and  you can tell me what you think of this place.'

Changing the topic to something neutral, switching the focus away from  her. She was surprised how sensitive he was to her emotions. Maybe  because he was surrounded by females. Growing up with two sisters, a  female dog and now a niece, he probably knew women better than she did  herself.

They stretched out on the sofa, their legs close, their feet on the  coffee table in front of them and their bowls of ice cream on their  stomachs.

'You've bought yourself a new home in Surfers to renovate, Pam told me.'

'Yes, but I'm in no hurry. That's why we're staying here. I like some of the ideas and I wanted a close-up inspection.'

'So what do you like about it?' Sophie asked, sucking on her spoon.

'The pool outside the bedroom, for starters. I can sleep, swim, then breakfast in one fluid sequence.'

'It's a very dangerous idea with young children around,' she pointed out.

He turned to her, his eyes probing hers before saying, 'I don't have any children.'

Not yet. 'What about Arabella? When she comes to visit? In a year she'll  probably be walking and getting up to no end of mischief.'