Hell And Back(51)

I blink away the tears and turn my head, ignoring the pull to him. Ignoring the need to call him over to hold my hand.

“You go give your momma her flowers.” He kisses her head and places her on her feet.

“You stay here?” she asks him.

“Always.” Again he is talking straight to me.

“Momma! Momma! Look, flowers,” she tells me, skipping and then jumping on my hospital bed near my feet, handing me the crushed bouquet.

“They are so beautiful.” I bring them to my nose, inhaling the fresh smell of the daisies.

“You more beautiful. Ackson, come sit with Momma.” Lilah waves her hand at him, while I hold my breath.

“Not now, sweetheart, you visit with Momma. I’m going to go get you some of that apple juice and cookies you like,” he tells her, getting up and leaving.

Brenda comes in and closes the door. “Thank you,” I whisper to her. We haven’t spoken yet, but I know I owe her an explanation.

“You look like you are so ready to go home,” Brenda says while she puts her purse down on the chair.

“I can’t wait,” I say and I really can’t. I want to be able to go outside and sit on the swing. I want to be able to cook my own food—food that actually has taste.

“I suppose I should tell you someone had a top of the line system installed in your house. With cameras.” Brenda sits next to Lilah on the bed.

I shake my head, not even sure how to handle the information she just told me. “I can’t do this. I thought I could, Brenda, but I don’t think I can. Maybe Lilah and I could start over somewhere else. It won’t be easy but...” My voice trails off, Brenda leaning forward to hold my hand.

“You are not letting him run you out of your own home.”

The rest of the afternoon passes as normal, Lilah practicing her coloring in the lines while Brenda reads her newest book on her Kindle.

The daytime nurses switch to the evening nurses. When Lilah starts yawning, it’s Brenda’s cue to start packing up all their stuff.

“We should pack your stuff up since you are leaving tomorrow,” Brenda says, gathering all the little things she brought me over the last two weeks.

After she is done, there are five bags filled with stuff.

“You can’t bring that to the car and hold Lilah.” I look over at her from the chair I’m sitting in, holding Lilah in my arms. It’s still difficult with the cast, but I need to get used to it.

“I’ll manage. Little heart, why don’t you go to the bathroom before we leave, okay?” Brenda tells Lilah before they hit the road.

Lilah carefully climbs off my lap, taking my good hand, and pulling me to the bathroom.

When we finally come out, I see all the bags are gone and Brenda is sitting on the bed. “That was fast.”

“Jackson carried them for me.” She shrugs her shoulders in a matter-of-fact way.

There is a knock on the door and The Hulk pushes his head inside, saying, “Jackson said you are all good to go.” Then quickly leaves.

“Okay, love bug, come give Momma a kiss. Tomorrow I get to come home with you. Maybe we can order pizza.” I know just by the way her eyes light up I said the magic word.

“Yeah, pissa,” she says while running out of the door, yelling for Jackson. “We gonna get pizza, Jackson,” she says when she stops in front of his chair.

He picks her up, placing her on his lap just as the door closes, leaving Brenda and me alone.

“This isn’t right, Bella, and you know it.” She places her hands on her hips like she normally does.

“Brenda, I...” I start to say.

“You what? You don’t want him? That’s a lie. You can’t trust him? Another lie. I don’t know what happened before, and I know it’s not the time to push you. But”—she exhales—“there is no way in hell Jackson would do anything to hurt you. Not one thing. Not verbally, not mentally, and definitely not physically.”

I shake my head, the tears threatening to fall. My heart beats faster, the pain so strong I have to sit on the bed.

“He hasn’t left this hospital since you came in,” she continues.

“He lied to me,” I say. I know he really didn’t because it never came up. But I can’t help but feel he knew who I was.

“He sent his mother away,” she states, making my head snap up, “when she showed up here looking for Adam. He told her that he would choose you over everyone else.” She sits next to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “He loves you. You can’t just throw that away.”

The tears fall into my lap, landing on my hands.

“Ms. Brenda.” We hear Lilah call. “I tired.”