Hate to Love You(94)
Why had I thought he cared about me? Wanted me?
Disappointment sank into my pores, saturating me with its heaviness. I tried to rise above it but it clung to my skin like quicksand, threatening to drag me under. I had to get out of there, run straight into the sea and wash it off. Maybe I would shed my human skin while I was at it, become a silkie and swim away.
James blocked me at the door. “Did you appropriate the funds from our client accounts?”
His tone was the one I hated most from him—dry, cold and hard as steel—but it was exactly what I needed.
“You should’ve joined Greg in my bedroom,” I said. “Then both of you could’ve dropped your pants and I would’ve seen who’s the bigger prick.”
He inhaled sharply. “Did you indulge your physical needs with Greg?”
“Indulge my physical needs?” I mimicked derisively. “Like drinking water or going to the bathroom?”
“I’m waiting, Ms Benítez.”
“Oh, so we’re back to Ms Benítez, are we? If you must know, Greg and I bonked like rabbits on speed. He’s got a huge dick. I barely managed to fit my mouth around it. It was like a watermelon, red and juicy and...”
Crap. Why hadn’t I said it was as big as a cricket bat or as long as a police truncheon? James’s face looked oddly severe, as though he was caught between anger and laughter.#p#分页标题#e#
“A watermelon?” he asked.
“That’s right!”
“Awfully big for a rabbit.”
I rubbed my abdomen salaciously. “I’m still sore.”
“Did you take the money?” he said, all traces of humour gone.
“No!”
“Do you know who did?”
“No.”
Some of the tension left his shoulders. “I believe you.”
“But Greg said—”
“Did you sleep with him?”
I stared at him, open-mouthed.
“Answer me,” he demanded.
Of all the bloody—
“What is it with you, anyway? You accuse me of drinking, then you drag me down a beach and up a death trap so you can accuse me of stealing. And now you want to butt into my sex life?”
“I didn’t accuse you. I asked, like I’m asking you now. Did you have sex with Greg or anybody else tonight?”
One-track mind or what? I threw my hands in the air.
“You obviously need to get laid, James. Go back to that orgy you told me nothing about and find a willing partner or three. Or if that doesn’t suit... Just. Screw. Yourself.”
“Answer me.”
“What do you care? And don’t give me that bull about unprofessional conduct.”
“I want to know because of Ryan.”
“No way, that is not your reason. I could still be a mother to Ryan even if I’d channelled Don Juan at the orgy. I know what you’re after. You want to judge me and feel superior. You want to compare me to women like Caroline and congratulate yourself for your discerning tastes.”
“You’re wrong.”
I made a disgusted noise. “Sure I am. Just like I’m wrong about what you think of me.”
“You are.”
“Oh yeah? What if I told you I had sex tonight? I’m a free agent and I don’t see what the problem would be. But you’d tell me I’m a low-class slut, wouldn’t you? Because you think I’m below your standards of perfection and you always have. A ‘common glass of water’ was the way you put it, remember? But you know what? Your opinion would blow past me because you’re still the same arrogant prick you were when I first met you.”
“And you’re still—!”
“Go ahead and say it James. I won’t break!”
We were shouting. He was in front of me and the tension in him was aimed straight at me, coiled so tightly I thought he’d explode and I wouldn’t escape the burn. I was too wound up to care.
“I knew it! You love taking the moral high ground yet you can’t be honest and—”
“You’re still the woman I want to fuck the second she comes into a room!” he shouted over me. “The woman who occupies my thoughts and my dreams. I want you more than I did when I first met you, more than I’ve ever wanted any other woman. Is that honest enough for you, Paisley?”
I gaped at him, my breathing on hold while his words roared in my ears. He stared right back, face flushed and eyes hot.
I had once been empowered by rage, a vengeful tsunami who destroyed everything in her path. Now I was at the receiving end of another kind of wave, one that was even more powerful. One that was pushing me to the edge of the cliff. I teetered over craggy rocks and deep crevasses. Fragile and afraid. Unsure if I should jump or run as fast as I could.