Hate to Love You(77)

James picked up the mug and sat back, a challenge in his eyes. My pulse rocketed out of control. Images of unzipping his trousers and straddling his hips, of sinking down on him as he rose and hardened inside me stopped me in the middle of the room. He saw what I was thinking and became still in that way he has of concentrating fully on my every move.

Advance or retreat?

A brisk knock on the office door took the decision away.

“Hello, Sparkles.”

It was a voice I’d hoped never to hear again, a nickname that froze me to the spot. I wasn’t ready for this! Not now and not ever. Blood that had been rushing through my body only a few seconds ago drained away, leaving only a wispy, fragile shell behind. I shut my eyes, took a deep breath and turned around slowly.

Ten years had passed since I’d last seen Manuel, but it could have been ten minutes for all that time had lessened the impact. He looked much the same, even though he was in his fifties. Medium height with thick brown hair and a long nose, still handsome and athletic.

And deadly.

Fear and rage paralysed me. He took my fear and swallowed it whole, returning it with not a single remorseful word. What I read was regret, but not for what he had done to me. It was regret he hadn’t been able to screw me like he’d wanted.

Manuel dropped his eyes down my body. Up again. He looked at me like he used to, with hunger and lust. I blinked, shame and helplessness overtaking my rage, just as it had as a young girl. He smiled at my reaction, triumph in his eyes. He had defeated me in the length of time it took me to breathe in and out.

“How about that kiss, Sparkles.”

“Manuel,” I said hoarsely.

James pushed his chair out and I was vaguely aware of movement behind me. My uncle didn’t stop his advance, hand outstretched.

Oh God, he was going to touch me!

My mind urged me to do something, jump away or hurl abuse. Anything to avoid the feel of his skin on mine. I took a step backward and smacked into a solid chest. James put his hands on my arms and pulled me into him, keeping me from fragmenting into tiny pieces. I wanted to shout but it was like one of those nightmares where you think you’re screaming and wake up, mouth open and not a sound coming out.

“Leave me alone,” I whispered.

Manuel smiled. “Can’t I visit my favourite niece? Caroline told me where you work.”

A low, feral sound came from James’s chest. “Not when you’re a sick bastard who should be in prison.”

James didn’t give Manuel a chance to respond. He grabbed his arm and dragged his struggling body towards the door.

“Your parents are dead, Paisley!” Manuel shouted over James’s shoulder.

James thrust him against the wall and Manuel straightened his collar. He rolled his shoulders angrily. “They were in a car accident on the way back from church. The funeral is on Saturday at St Albert’s.”

I stumbled into James’s desk. Manuel moved towards me but James blocked him.#p#分页标题#e#

“I’ll drive you to Trenmore,” Manuel said. “Isabel is already there.”

“You’re not taking Paisley anywhere,” James said. “Don’t visit her, talk to her or look at her again or you’ll deal with me. After that the only people you ever fuck will be your fellow inmates.”

My numb brain registered that James was swearing and thought it odd, but what he did next was even more out of character. Manuel made a move in my direction and James punched his jaw. The cracking sound was like popcorn. He didn’t let Manuel recover, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out of the office. Later, Velma told me James threw Manuel into the lift, but she’s prone to exaggeration when she’s gossiping.

When James came back his features were suffused with barely controlled violence. He phoned security, gave them Manuel’s name and description and instructed them to ensure he exited the building and wasn’t allowed back.

I trembled, thinking I should be reacting to Manuel’s news somehow. My parents were dead. Dust to dust and ashes to ashes, yet I couldn’t feel a thing.

And Manuel knew where to find me.

I retreated to the glass wall. My body was encased by fear and my mind by self-loathing. Why hadn’t I done something? Shown Manuel he couldn’t affect me anymore? Instead of confronting him as a grown woman I’d allowed James to fight my battle for me. I was the same pathetic weakling Manuel remembered.

James came to a stop next to me, his body tense. Could it be that he cared about me even a little bit? That beyond the lust I’d seen in his eyes at Matham Manor there was... A little thrill raced to the tips of my toes, only to be stifled by the thought that what James felt for me was pity. He knew about my past with Manuel and had seen my inability to deal with his visit.