Giving In(72)

He turned his gaze back to the ceiling, giving up all hope of sleeping tonight. Pain burned brightly in his soul, the ache fiercer than it had been in a very long time. If baring one’s soul was supposed to be so freeing then why did he feel imprisoned all over again?





TWENTY-THREE


KYLIE felt on top of the world Monday morning when she rode to work with Jensen. Optimism, an alien concept to her until now, simmered in her mind.

So she hadn’t been able to make love to Jensen without him being tied to the bed. Yet. But they had made love! That was a huge step for her.

She was . . . happy. When was the last time she could say that and really mean it? Her old version of happiness was merely a shell, a code word for simply existing. It wasn’t until she got involved with Jensen that she realized just how much of her life was passing her by while she kept her head firmly in the sand.

The weekend had been utter bliss. They hadn’t made love again since Friday night, and both seemed reluctant to push too hard and too fast, but the intimacy had grown around them to such an extent that Kylie knew it wouldn’t be long before they took the plunge again.

And maybe this time she’d pluck up the courage not to tie Jensen up for the act.

She’d been worried about Jensen after he’d confided about his childhood to her, but other than being a little quieter than normal Saturday morning, he didn’t seem to be much worse for the wear.

She’d purposely kept the mood and tone light between them, not wanting him to go back to the blackness of his past. She’d told him she loved him countless times and had been openly affectionate with him.

She hadn’t chosen to confide in him about her childhood, not because she didn’t trust him, but because him confiding his had taken a huge toll on him emotionally and she hadn’t wanted to add to it. In time, she’d get around to it. When the moment was right. She wasn’t looking forward to it, but neither was she avoiding it at all costs.

Dealing with it. That’s what she was doing and would do. With Jensen’s help. His love and support. What else could she ask for?

Toward noon, Dash stuck his head in her office.

“Can I come in?” he asked from the doorway.

She motioned him forward. “Of course. What’s up?”

He sat in one of the chairs, the same one Jensen had occupied seemingly a lifetime ago when she’d pondered getting rid of them. Now? She didn’t mind the intrusion of either him or Dash in her office. Especially Jensen.

“You’re looking good, Kylie. You look happy.”

She blinked in surprise, discomfort crawling up her spine at the personal note the conversation took. But sincerity was clearly etched on Dash’s handsome features so she shoved aside her instinct to clam up. It’s what she would have done in the past, no doubt. But she was trying on the new Kylie for size. Someone who could open up more to her friends. To people in general.

She’d never be the bubbly, friendly breath of fresh air that Chessy was. Nor would she ever be as sweet and loving as Joss. But they were rubbing off on her just as Jensen was, and she found herself more relaxed around her circle of friends. More willing to let her guard down. At the very least, she wanted to lose the bitchy, abrasive aspect of her personality. Things she’d used as a defensive mechanism before.

“I am happy,” she said simply.

“Joss wanted me to invite you and Jensen over this Friday. Chessy and Tate will be coming too. Nothing fancy. She’s itching to cook a good meal and have our friends over.”

Heat surged into Kylie’s cheeks and she dropped her gaze, ashamed of how her last trip to Dash’s house had gone.

“I’d like that,” Kylie said in a low voice. “I’m sure Jensen would too. And Dash, I know I apologized to Joss, but I’ve never really apologized to you for how I reacted when you told me Jensen was becoming your partner.”

“Already forgotten,” Dash said, his voice warm. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt Joss. I was pretty pissed at the time, but I know your heart, Kylie. And I know you love Joss and would never intentionally hurt her.”

“I’m trying to be a better friend. A better person,” she amended. “I know I’m not always easy to love.”

She said the last with a grin, marveling that she could even joke about matters she was normally extremely sensitive about.

Dash chuckled. “Well, neither am I. I think we all know that by now. But I also want to offer you an apology.”

She lifted her gaze again, her eyebrows rising in confusion. “Whatever for?”

“For taking advantage of you.”

“What?”

“You work hard. Damn hard. And Jensen’s right. You’re more than capable of contributing more to this company than just your duties as our administrative assistant. I read over the proposal you prepared for the S&G contract. I was very impressed.”