Giving In(25)

And yet she seemed to be drifting further in the direction of that dark, murky past. Seemed to be reaching that breaking point that she’d never quite come to before. Why now?

She was safe from her father. No one could hurt her. She had a home, her fortress, where she could lock herself behind the walls and have a safe haven, no intrusion from the outside world.

Carson’s death had been a strain on her. Was still a strain. Maybe she’d never properly dealt with her grief. She’d performed robotically during the entire ordeal, unable to comprehend that the only person who’d ever loved and protected her was gone. That she was alone in the world, the one thing she’d always feared the most.

She’d known that Carson and Joss would be her only family. That she had no desire for one of her own. She’d also known that Carson didn’t want children, though Joss did. She understood his fear. That somehow their tainted genes would be passed down to his children. It was a fear she shared.

Her own mother had abandoned them to a monster she knew was capable of horrific atrocities. She had no example. No one to look up to. An absent mother and a father who was alcoholic and abusive and a misogynist to boot.

She shook her head, her lips tight. No, she didn’t want to risk having children either. What if she was a horrible mother? What if her children turned into monsters like her own parents? God only knew all the things that could go wrong if she or Carson ever had children.

She was perfectly content for her father’s name and blood to die with her, his only remaining blood relative in this world. If only she could take him to hell with her. Because God knew, she lived that hell every single day and had since she was just a baby.

“Do you have those reports ready?”

Jensen’s crisp voice came over the intercom, startling Kylie from her dark thoughts.

She ruffled the papers frantically, glancing to see that she had indeed finished proofing the stack.

“Yes,” she replied, hating the catch in her voice. “Would you like me to bring them to you?”

“Yes, please.”

She rose and gathered the papers, tidying them into a neat stack. Then she sucked in a deep breath and strode down the hall to Jensen’s office. His door was open and he wasn’t paying attention. His attention was focused on his computer and he wore a slight frown.

His shirt was unbuttoned at the top and his tie had long been shed. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and his jacket tossed over a nearby chair.

He was a creature of comfort, and while Dash and Carson both seemed comfortable in finer clothes and embraced the world they’d created for themselves, Jensen seemed less at ease. He was quiet, reserved. And he seemed content to allow Dash to do most of the talking.

But Kylie would bet her entire paycheck that Jensen didn’t miss a single beat. That he knew every single client and the ins and outs of the contracts and the job that needed to be done.

She approached his desk hesitantly, not wanting to disturb his obvious concentration. She slid the stack of papers onto the edge and turned hastily, intending to get out quickly.

“Kylie, wait,” Jensen commanded.

It shouldn’t have surprised her that he’d known the moment she’d come through the door. Even though he hadn’t acknowledged her in any way and had kept his focus on whatever he was studying on his computer screen.

She glanced up to see him staring at her, his gaze stroking over her skin like a tangible touch. She loved the way he looked at her. She loved the way it made her feel. Safe. Protected. Like he cared about what happened to her.

Those looks were addicting. She soaked up every single one of them with unabashed greed.

His look changed to one of displeasure, and apprehension gripped Kylie’s chest. She hated conflict of any kind. It was her nature to avoid it at all costs and if she couldn’t avoid it, then soothe, soothe, soothe.

“Is something wrong?” she asked anxiously. “Is there something I can help you with?”

Jensen reached for her hand, shocking her, because he’d always maintained a semblance of casualness between them at work. He gently squeezed and pulled her closer until she stood right by his chair, her back to his desk. He pushed back his chair so he was looking squarely at her.

“I have to go out of town Monday. I fly back in Wednesday night so I’ll be in the office early Thursday.”

She nodded, wondering why that had set him off. It certainly wasn’t unusual for him and Dash both to be out of town.

“It’s the S&G contract,” he continued. “The CFO was very impressed and wants to move forward with our proposal. He wants me to attend a meeting with the CEO and the board of directors in Dallas. The contract is ours. We’re just going through the motions of getting approval up the chain. And of course they want to meet me—us.”