Full Throttle(7)

“We’re going to make it.”

“You’re on the verge of showing your father he’s not the only champion in your family.”

Maybe, but no matter what he did he’d never measure up to him. He wanted this championship for himself and his team. Not his father.

He was through listening to Harry. But part of him acknowledged he was right. Harry echoed his own conscience.

But Kane couldn’t simply shove aside his attraction to Lexie. He was, however, frustrated and confused. After a long separation, they’d become friends again. They worked well together. They’d dated a mere three years, while being broken up for twelve.

They should have moved on. Until recently, he thought he had.

Now all he did was think about her and wonder what she was thinking in return. Memories of dates and conversations they’d had kept rolling through his mind. Regrets followed the memories. When would those thoughts spill over into their working relationship? Or, worse, affect the rest of the team?

He should suppress his feelings, but he wasn’t sure how long he could. It seemed all he ever did was deny, smother or compromise.

And he was getting damn tired of it.

Kane shoved open the truck’s door. “I’m done talking to you about this.” He rounded the truck, yanking his bag from the back.

Harry grabbed his arm as he started to walk off. “Promise me you’ll keep your distance.”

Kane pulled back. “I can’t.” He stalked away, then paced beside the plane, pausing every few seconds to glare into the distance. Where the hell was everybody? The obscenely hot August sun beat down on his head, and he was ready to get on with this trip.

A few minutes later the team started arriving. Each man patted him on the shoulder as he boarded the plane, everyone looking somehow tense and hopeful at the same time. When James showed up, he tried to get Kane to sit down, but he refused, knowing he needed to face Lexie alone before they faced everyone else together.

If Harry had sensed something was going on, and James had already witnessed their kiss, then it certainly wouldn’t be long before the rest of the team caught on. He wanted to warn her, to talk to her about the tension between them and see if that brilliant brain of hers could come up with a better solution than the ones he kept considering.

All of which involved inappropriate actions between driver and car chief.

What if they did give in to their attraction? Did he want to date her? Or was this a physical thing they could solve in one night?

Was it really possible to keep racing and their personal relationship separate? Brothers, fathers and son, uncles and nephews did it all the time in NASCAR, but then—

He stopped as he saw Lexie’s Blazer pull into the parking lot, followed by his father’s sleek, dark-gray Mercedes.

“Great.” Just what he needed to add to his day. The legend.

He was inappropriately attracted to his car chief. His crew chief—her father—looked as if he’d rather find his shotgun than make pit stop calls. He had to face forty-two other drivers on the track at Bristol in three days. He had only two races left to make the top ten in NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Championship points.

And his own father had probably come to tell him about some new promo tour he should go on.

“Hey, Dad, Lexie,” he said when they approached. His heart hammered as the coconut-scented lotion Lexie favored wafted toward him.

“I’m glad I caught you,” his father said. “I need a moment.”

Her overnight bag slung over her shoulder, Lexie avoided Kane’s gaze and edged toward the plane stairs.

“Sure, Dad. In a minute. I need to talk to Lexie.” He’d taken only a step toward her when his father grabbed his arm.

“She can wait.”

Already annoyed and on edge, Kane glared over his shoulder at his father.

“You have hours on the flight to talk to her,” his father continued impatiently.

As had become his custom, Kane swallowed his own needs and frustration and nodded. “Yes, sir.” He didn’t dare look over at Lexie—her stomping assent up the steps was enough indication of her mood. How many times had he put her aside for his father? For racing? For anything else that seemed important at the moment?

It was no wonder she’d wised up and dumped him.

“I’m getting a lot of questions about this top-ten business,” his father said, his strong hand still clamped on Kane’s shoulder.

Kane stared his father straight in the eye. There was always a measure of satisfaction in being able to meet him at equal height and breadth, especially after so many years of gazing up at him from a scrawny, weak body. “I’ll get there, sir.”

“You haven’t made it yet.”

“The team’s really come together this year. We’ve got the right people in place. All three of the Hollister Racing teams are doing great. Bobby’s in fifth and Richey’s in sixteenth. Plus, we’ve all had some good tests in the past few weeks.”

His father nodded. “I know you’re doing your best. I’m just going to get quizzed about it in the broadcast booth this weekend.”

You could show some faith in me. Shaking away the thought, Kane said, “We’re doing fine. Lexie thinks we could win on Saturday.”

“She seems sure of you.”

Maybe it was the conversation he’d just had with Harry, but he thought he detected a sharpness to his father’s voice. He certainly didn’t want his father to jump on the anti-Kane-and-Lexie bandwagon. Being a man who’d married the sweet, manicured head cheerleader of his college team, he’d never understood Lexie’s under-the-hood racing perspective, and he’d never been supportive of their relationship.

“That’s her job,” he said.

“And you’re confident of her abilities?”

“More than anybody’s.” Even mine.

“I could help you find a new team anytime you wanted.”

“Yes, sir, I know.” The formal speech between them made him cringe, but they hadn’t established a close, casual friendship like many of his friends now had in adulthood with their fathers. By contrast, he still felt fifteen—awkward and completely lacking in confidence. “I’m happy with the team I have.”

His father slid his hands into his pants pockets and nodded. “Your mother wanted me to remind you to be careful. She tends to watch this race with her hands over her eyes, so be sure to call her right away if you’re in a wreck.”

“I will.”

“Well…” He patted Kane’s shoulder one last time. “Good luck, son. I’ll be in Dallas to prepare for Sunday, but I’ll get updates from my team.”

He’d get reports from his team. His father’s personal trainer, assistant and business manager all probably knew more about Kane’s racing career than the man himself did. He forced a smile. “I’ll be home on Sunday and actually get to watch the game this week.”

“I’d go with the Cowboys.” He turned away, then looked back. “If you ever get frustrated with racing, you know I can get you on with an NFL team. You’d be a great PR man, and they always need a sharp guy in sponsor relations.”

“Thanks, Dad, but no. I’m staying in racing.”

His father turned away again, heading toward his car. Kane watched him go, and a longing he hadn’t felt in a long time washed over him.

His father had played his early career for the Dallas Cowboys, but had eventually been traded to Green Bay, then St. Louis. His mother had been raised in the Charlotte area, so that’s where she and Kane had moved and stayed, while his father commuted during the season. Though the move to Mooresville was probably a move his father regretted in retrospect.

After his NFL retirement, his father had decided to focus on having his son follow in his footsteps. After that failed, he got a job as a broadcaster, where he was loved and adored just as much as he had been on the field.

Kane, meanwhile, fell short of expectations. He wasn’t a big star in NASCAR. He was just getting paid to do what he loved.

On the topic of his father, his emotions were at war. He’d admired his father all his life. Even when work and other people got more attention, he’d never stopped being proud. He resented the standard of excellence his father held him to, even as he kept trying to reach those goals.

With a sigh, he turned toward the plane. He had a race to get to. Maybe he’d never win his father’s respect, but he had Lexie’s and the team’s.

Harry was right. He wasn’t about to risk his career over an impulsive kiss and a few extra heartbeats when Lexie was around. That would be reckless, defiant and irresponsible. Traits he didn’t have. Not anymore.

He boarded the plane, stored his bag in the overhead compartment, then dropped into the empty seat next to Lexie. She cast him a sidelong glare, fastened her seat belt at the pilot’s direction, then stared out the window for takeoff.

What he wanted to talk to her about couldn’t really be said in proximity to the rest of the team, so he put in his earphones and launched a heavy-metal song on his iPod. The drums and pounding bass blocked any thought deeper than what he was in the mood to eat for dinner.

A sharp elbow in his ribs jerked him from images of a two-inch sirloin. “What?” he asked, throwing a hostile look at Lexie.