Full Throttle(10)
“Why don’t I walk you back to your motor coach?” she asked quietly and slowly. “You can get comfortable and relax.”
“No.”
“Do you want to go back to the party?”
“Hell, no.”
“What the devil is wrong with you?”
He stopped pacing suddenly and leaned back against the wall. He closed his eyes. “What’s happening to me?”
More concerned than angry now, she leaned next to him. “That’s my question.”
“I’m sorry about the baby thing earlier, when we were talking on the plane. I’m sorry for pulling you away from Victor. I will apologize.”
“It’s okay.” She paused and drew a deep breath. “It’s this thing between us, isn’t it?”
“I think so.”
“It’s just the stress of racing,” she said in an effort to convince herself as much as him. “Once we make The Chase, everything will go back to normal.”
“What’s normal for us?”
“Friends. Colleagues.”
He lifted his head and stared down at her. “Is that all you’ve felt for me over the past six months?”
“It’s all I can feel.”
He shook his head. “That’s not what I asked.”
Warmth spread through her, followed quickly by guilt. This wasn’t good. They needed their professionalism back, not more fuel for the flames of their attraction.
“So maybe we have some residual chemistry. It’ll pass.”
“When?”
“Eventually.”
He slid his arms around her waist. “What if we get it out of our system?”
Her heart rate renewed its wild gallop. “How are we supposed to do that?”
“One night. You and me together. We’ll get past this attraction, then we’ll be okay again.”
Oh, wow. Oh, no.
She braced her hands against his arms, trying to maintain some distance between them. “Won’t work.”
“How do you know?”
She was already struggling with distance from their past, and the last time they touched intimately was many years ago. As if it was just yesterday…
She shuddered at the very idea. “I just do. Besides, the risk is too great that it’ll just make everything worse.”
“Yeah, I guess it could.”
“And when is this big event supposed to happen? We have a race to run in two days.”
“Now’s good for me.”
Double oh, wow.
She wasn’t tempted. She couldn’t possibly be considering his rash, not-a-chance-in-hell-of-working plan. She stared up into his glittering blue eyes and knew she was fighting for her own piece of mind as well as team cohesiveness.
“Our romantic relationship is over.”
His eyes flashed with old resentment, an anger she wasn’t aware he still felt. “Not willing to give it another go? You walked away pretty easily before.”
And it had nearly killed her. “No, I didn’t, and you’d left me long before that.”
“Just because I needed to focus on my racing didn’t mean I didn’t care about you.”
“I needed more.”
He sighed. “I’m lousy at relationships.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I wasn’t suggesting we have a relationship.”
She smiled weakly. “I suppose not.” She patted his chest and stepped back. All of a sudden she felt overwhelmingly sad. “I’m heading back to the party.”
He snagged her hand. “You could give us another chance.”
His eyes actually pleaded with her. She was so startled she couldn’t speak.
The only time she’d seen him even remotely affected as he was now was after he and his father had had a particularly disappointing argument over his football career.
“Just consider it,” he added, laying his finger over her lips. “You don’t have to answer now.”
A patient Kane?
“I told you those anger management classes were a good thing.”
A patient, amiable Kane on the track made her crazy, but what might those qualities do for him as a man? As his car chief, she couldn’t encourage him to be anything less than singularly focused. And on racing, not romance.
“You hated those classes,” she said in an effort to inject some levity into the moment.
“At the time.” He shrugged. “But it worked.”
“You need an edge to be a race car driver.”
“I’m not a driver all the time.”
If so, he was the first.
Music from the sky box floated toward them, and Kane pulled her close. “Ah, right on cue.”
As he shuffled his feet to the beat of the music, Lexie moved reluctantly with him. Proximity to him in anything but a professional sense wasn’t good for her peace of mind.
Still, she absorbed his heat and strength as conflicting feelings zoomed around her like bees. She wanted him, but couldn’t have him. She liked that he’d developed a softer side, but his lack of intensity was affecting his driving, and the championship they all so desperately wanted. Pitting her personal needs against her professional ones was troubling and frustrating.
How would she resolve the two sides of herself? Was she really willing to risk one for the other?
She tried to push aside all that and focus on the moment. She let the music lull her, drift through the air and distract her mind. Even in her badly fitted dress, she felt pretty and feminine. It was such a contrast from her usual jeans and grease-splattered T-shirt. Many hopes, dreams and—frankly—fantasies involved Kane holding her as he was now. Focused totally on her. Touching her with cherished reverence. As if she was the center of his world.
Breathing in his familiar scent, she reminded herself their closeness would evaporate tomorrow. Or maybe even sooner. Their team was just yards away. They had an important race to concentrate on and couldn’t dwell on their personal feelings. They couldn’t afford to be soft.
But, oh, how she wanted to.
She indulgently, briefly, pretended they were ordinary people. They went to work each morning at eight, then clocked out at six, well, maybe seven. Everybody worked overtime these days, after all. She’d pack him a bag lunch, with a turkey on wheat sandwich, sour cream and onion potato chips and a vitamin water. He’d whine to his buddies about how she tried to make him eat better. She’d smile when he called her to razz her about it.
Once a month they’d meet friends for wings and beer, and twice a month they’d swing by the local Italian place for takeout and grab a movie rental from the Blockbuster next door. She’d cajole him into watching a chick flick, and he’d convince her to let him watch the last five minutes of ESPN Sports Center. She’d be an engineer for a car manufacturer, and he’d be a—
A…what?
A mechanic? A salesman? A forensic scientist?
Kane was a race car driver. Period.
“WE HAVEN’T DONE THIS in a long time, huh?” he said against her ear.
Her hips brushed his. “No.”
Kane breathed in the coconut scent emanating from Lexie’s skin. There were so many moments he cherished from their relationship—the races they’d seen together, the races they’d won together, even the races they’d lost together. But tonight none of that resonated with him.
He remembered the cards and notes of encouragement she gave him weekly, sometimes daily, in high school. He remembered the sighs of pleasure they’d shared. He remembered conversations and laughter. He appreciated her smile and her determination. He valued her brains and her body.
At the moment, it was her body calling to him.
The chemistry they shared—both on and off the track—was something he’d never had with anyone else. They understood each other. They connected.
The heat they created when they touched was amazing, comforting and frustrating at the same time. He’d never had that with anyone else. Still, he’d thrown it away. Lexie was right. He’d left them long before she’d stormed away from him that night in Richmond.
Maybe their relationship hadn’t worked out before simply because they were young. Could this time be different? Were they crazy or brave enough to try?
As much as he’d matured and changed, he also knew there were pockets of anger and doubt inside him that he wasn’t sure he’d ever resolve with himself, much less anyone else. He still had a lot to work on. He had to find a way to capture his fierceness for racing on weekends, and still be a normal person the rest of the week.
The career he’d chosen and fought for had greatly affected the most important relationships in his life—his father and Lexie. His racing had brought distance between him and the man whose respect and admiration he wanted above all others. His racing had brought him closer to the woman whose heart he’d once coveted, but it had ultimately driven her away.
Did he think he’d succeed today, where he’d failed before? They would both be risking a lot to find out.
At least they’d settled the past. He’d let go of his resentment for her leaving him and finally understood how much she deserved a man who could give her his whole heart.
Her hand curled around the back of his neck. He closed his eyes to concentrate on her touch, to absorb her softness, her cool breath brushing his throat.
Their chemistry was undeniable, but was she right, would one night together just make everything worse? Or would it open a whole new world for both of them?