Friends with Benefits(17)

To make the day worse, someone had eaten my lunch that I packed the  night before. It had been the only thing I was looking forward to. After  lunch, I had received four customer complaints and spent the last three  hours dealing with them. Which basically meant I spent my time getting  yelled at for someone else's screw-ups.


The icing on the cake was the fact that Steven still wasn't talking to  me. It had been days. I had never gone that long without talking to or  seeing my best friend. Usually, we would chat over the phone every few  days during my lunch break. If we were unable to connect, we would catch  up over movies or dinner on the weekend.


What I wouldn't do to spend an evening on the couch with Steven watching  some crappy comedy flick while tossing popcorn into each other's  mouths. By the end of the night, I would be covered in equal amounts of  blanket and popcorn. I wasn't very good at catching it.


More than anything, I wanted to help Steven feel better. His distance  was indicative of how badly I had hurt him. I knew that. He wasn't doing  it to be mean. He was processing, digesting, and working his way  through the truth he had just learned. I wanted to help him navigate  that.


And I wanted him to tell me he loved me again.


Those words on his lips had been the best thing I had ever heard. It had  been as if the clouds that had been following me around for years had  suddenly parted, and everything was falling into place all at once.


Until I went ahead and destroyed it all.


I yearned for his embrace and forgiveness. I knew I would do just about  anything to get it. And after forgiveness came the one thing I was  ashamed to want: the sex.         

     



 


I wanted him to fuck me again. I had been thinking about it all day at  work. I couldn't help it. Between moments of heavy despair thinking of  what I had lost, I was plagued with thoughts of Steven's naked body. I  hated that I was consumed with need for him at a time like this. I knew  there were more important things than sex, but try as I might, I  couldn't push the longing to the back of my mind.


It was ever present, begging me to take care of things.


I dropped my purse on the floor and let my keys fall into the bowl on  the table in my entryway. Down the hall, in my bedroom, I kicked off my  shoes and let my gaze wander to the drawer beside my bed. There were  things hidden in there that could make me feel better. It wouldn't be  permanent, but any kind of relief from this tense grief would be  welcomed.


I undressed, draping my clothes over the back of the chair at my vanity  with the intention of putting them away later. My attention was on the  toys in the drawer, and the swelling of my pussy, and the slickness in  my panties.


If I couldn't have Steven right now, I would have something else.


In nothing but my bra and panties, I climbed up on the bed and opened  the drawer to reveal my collection. Colorful items winked up at me,  promising relief. I grabbed the one I always started with: a small  powder blue vibrator with chrome sides. It fit nicely in my palm, and I  clutched it tightly as I lay back against the plush pillows at the head  of my bed.


Once I was comfortable, I put the vibrator beside me. The cool chrome  edges pressed up against my hip. Slowly, I reached down with my right  hand and pulled aside my panties. They were wet and warm against the  groove between my pussy and thigh. The thin lace tickled my skin as I  lowered my hand down, pressing two fingers between my swollen folds.


When my fingertips grazed my clit, I closed my eyes. I slid my fingers  up and down, spreading my juices along the length of my pussy in  preparation for the toys it was about to receive. As I warmed myself up,  I envisioned Steven.


I pictured him standing at the end of my bed. He was naked. His skin was  tanned like it usually was in the middle of summer, and his cock was  hard. He was watching me. He liked watching me.


I softened my touch to feather strokes. The light sensation was  glorious. My clit became firm making itself easier for my fingers to  find. Each caress felt more intense. I slid two fingers on either side  of my clit and squeezed gently. Then I rubbed them in opposite  directions.


Wonderful.


Behind my eyelids, Steven was still at the end of the bed watching me.  He took the length of his cock in one hand and began stroking himself.  He moved with an aggression I had never seen before; one that felt  primal and sexual. His shoulders were hunched forward as he watched me,  and his hand moved faster up and down the length of his shaft. His  hungry stare watched my fingers as I pinched and teased my clit.


I was ready. I let my hand wander over my thigh, leaving a little slick  trail on my pale skin. I grabbed my vibrator and turned it on. The  vibration in my fingertips made me excited. My mouth was wet. I wished  Steven was there so I could suck him off. I wanted to feel his cock  sliding in and out of my throat as I played with myself.


I placed the vibrator just above my clit. Sometimes the vibration was  too intense right at first. So I eased myself into it, letting the tip  hover just above my sweet spot until I couldn't stand the anticipation  anymore. My hips rose off the mattress on their own, and I met my body's  needs by lowering the tip of the toy. It buzzed against my clit.


My lips parted in a pleased sigh. I began rotating the vibrator in slow  circles, sliding around my clit, teasing myself until I couldn't bear it  anymore. Then I would hold it to my most sensitive spot until my pussy  tightened. Right when I knew I was close to losing it, I would retreat  to the less sensitive areas. I had time. I had so much time.


I focused on my vision of Steven. He was still at the foot of the bed.  His jaw was tight as he watched me use the toy. He was working himself  over fiercely as his eyes followed the slow circular motion of the  vibrator.


I wished he were real. Right here, an arm's length away, preparing to fuck me so hard that I wouldn't be able to walk after.


But he wasn't. I was alone.


I held the tip of the vibrator to my clit and turned up the vibration  setting. Quick pulses beat against my bud until my hips jolted, and I  lost control of myself. I came quickly, releasing a shuddering breath  and clutching the end of the vibrator desperately as I rode out my  orgasm.


When I was done, I set the toy aside. I was always too sensitive for a  vibrator after an orgasm. I lay there, my chest rising and falling as I  recovered until the delightful tingling in my pussy settled to a more  manageable throb; an ache for more.         

     



 


I used my fingers again. I explored myself delicately, tracing over the  hood above my clit and wandering down the slick sides between my lips. I  was soft and silky smooth; ready for the taking. Oh, how I wished  Steven was there to take me-to stick a finger inside me and curl it up  against my G-spot; to tease me with quick come-hither motions deep  inside me.


I moved my own finger down until it slipped easily inside. Pretending it  was Steven's, I slid my finger in and out, feeling the walls of my  pussy gripping tightly. I used my other hand to rub my clit. The need to  come was there again. I was hot and ready and eager for another orgasm.


My fingers wouldn't do the trick. I needed something bigger. Something that would fill me up like Steven's cock would.


I abandoned my pussy for a moment and dove back into my toy drawer. I  withdrew a pink toy; a curved dildo with a vibrating tip and a little  arm that rested against my clit. It vibrated, too, and it was a toy that  got me off every time I used it.


I slid the tip of it up and down against my pussy, getting it all wet  and slick and ready. I was thrumming with excitement as I prepared to  fuck myself.


Holding the toy between my legs, the tip pressing into my opening, I  held my breath. I relished the feeling of it sliding into me. If only it  were Steven's cock. I took my time letting it stretch me. I bit my  bottom lip and forced it in as deep as I could.


When it couldn't go any further, I turned on the vibration settings. The  little arm that rested against my clit began to pulsate. I moaned with  pleasure. Deep inside me, the toy fluttered. I pulled it out and pushed  it back in. Each thrust was slow and steady. I waited, knowing the time  would soon be right to get into it with more fervor.


I could still picture Steven at the end of the bed. I envisioned him  climbing up on the mattress and pushing my legs apart. As I slid the toy  deep into my pussy, I pretended it was Steven's rock-hard cock.


I moaned again, softly, and my imagination played the sound of Steven groaning deeply above me.


I flicked my wrist faster. My pussy was swelling, tightening. My clit  was taut beneath the vibrating arm. I pressed my head back into the  pillows and lifted my hips off the mattress. I bent my legs, holding  myself up so I could fuck myself harder.


Then I pushed myself over the edge. My mind reeled as my body succumbed  to the pleasure. I couldn't breathe. I let it thrum through me and  continued thrusting the toy in and out until I was too weak and too  shattered to continue.