Four Week Fiance 2(27)

“I see,” I said and my stomach sank. What was she saying? Did she no longer love me? Did she no longer want to be with me? Did she no longer care what I thought? Was she giving up on me? As much as that should have made me feel better, it didn’t. It felt like a dagger through my gut.

“Let’s just enjoy our day together,” she said simply. “Let’s enjoy our four weeks together and then when it’s over we can go back to being friends. Maybe we’ll even be best friends now.”

“That’s what you want?” I said, my stomach tightening. “To be best friends?”

“Sure. You’re a great guy. I think maybe we’ve been destined to be best friends.”

“Even though you have Sally and I have Cody?”

“They’re still our best friends, but we have another kind of best friendship,” she said and then sighed. “You know what I mean? Maybe we’re soulmates, but on a different level.”

“Yeah, maybe,” I said and then turned the radio on. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know if she was saying this stuff because she really believed it or because I’d broken her. Maybe she didn’t want to waste her time loving someone who couldn’t love her back. She didn’t say anything else after that and neither did I. I wasn’t really sure what to say. She already knew what I thought about soulmates and one true love. I didn’t believe in it. And she knew that. I thought there were multiple people out there for everyone. You just had to make it work, if a serious relationship was something that you really wanted. I knew she hated that. I knew she wanted to believe in a fairy tale. I didn’t think it was safe or healthy. I think it set people up for devastation and despair. How could there only be one person? How could one person mean so much to one person? It wasn’t good. What if it didn’t work out? What if one person fell out of love? It would be too hard. Someone might not be able to take it. Someone might kill themselves. No, it was unrealistic and too scary a prospect to think that there was only one true love for everyone. Though, that didn’t stop an inner hope in me that she thought I was her one. I nearly slammed on the brakes as I realized that. I wanted Mila to think I was her soulmate. I wanted her to think I was her one. Even though I didn’t believe in it myself. I knew it was selfish of me. I knew I could never be that man in her life, yet I couldn’t make that feeling go away. I was a horrible, selfish person. An absolutely horrible person.

“We’re here,” I said as we pulled up outside the stables.

“We’re going riding?” She looked surprised as she undid her seatbelt. “That wasn’t what I expected.”

“What were you expecting?” I grinned at her.

“Aw, you’ll never know.” She winked at me and jumped out of the car and slammed the door. I jumped out and locked the doors and hurried over to her.

“Tell me.” I grinned, wondering exactly what she thought we’d be doing and where.

“Nope.” She grinned back at me.

“Come on, maybe you’ll give me a good idea.”

“Maybe you don’t need any more good ideas.” She laughed. “Now take me riding or I will pout.”

“I don’t want you pouting.” I grabbed her hand. “Come on, then.” And I guided her towards the office, where I knew they were waiting for me with two chestnut mares.

“So how come you took today off?” Mila asked me as we walked towards the stables. “I thought you were a dedicated employee?”

“Sometimes we all need a break, right?” I answered casually, ignoring the feeling in my gut that told me to tell her exactly what was going on.

“You can say that again.” She sighed loudly. “I just don’t know what’s going to happen. We’re bleeding money. Nothing is going right and Mom and Dad can’t agree on the next step and they don’t want to go to Nonno for advice.”

“Why not?” I asked hesitantly. “He ran the business successfully for years, so why wouldn’t they ask him for his advice?”

“I guess maybe pride? Or they’re ashamed. Like, I think Nonno knows the economy is bad right now, but I don’t know if he knows just how badly we’re doing.” She chewed on her lower lip. “I wanted to mention it to him, but I thought it would be too much.”

“Why would it be too much?” I asked her, studying the side of her face as she played with her hair.

“Well, I didn’t want to inundate him with all my problems.”

“All your problems?” I raised an eyebrow at her. “How many do you have?”

“A few.” She laughed. “Just a few.”

“Am I one of the problems?” I asked dumbly, knowing the answer already.

“Could you ever be a problem, TJ?” she teased me and I laughed.

“Nope, never. I could never be a problem.” I laughed as well and we entered the office. There was a young girl sitting behind the desk who was wearing a riding hat and I walked over to her. “Hi, I’m TJ Walker. I booked two horses for an afternoon ride.”

“Oh, hi, Mr. Walker.” She jumped up and grinned. “We got the two mares ready for you. We’ll just get you some hats and crops. You guys have been riding before, right?”

“Yup.” I nodded and looked over at Mila, who was grinning in excitement. “You look happy.”

“I love riding.” She nodded at me, but of course I already knew that. That was why I’d planned the afternoon adventure. “This is so cool. Thank you.”

“No, thank yous needed. I wanted us to have a good time. Time for just us. That isn’t about work, or the agreement.”

“Or me going on and on about love.” She laughed and then blushed.

“Let’s just have a good afternoon.” I reached over and squeezed her hand and she nodded. I wasn’t sure what I was doing. A part of me felt guilty, like I was leading Mila on, in a way. I wanted to make it clear to her that this was never going to result in the true love that she wanted, but I was too selfish to just let her go completely. If I was a good guy, I’d stop sleeping with her and I’d just treat her as a friend, but I guess I wasn’t a good guy. I craved her and I wasn’t about to stop my addiction just yet.

“I’m down for that.” She nodded and her eyes glazed over for a few seconds, before she started smiling again. “Let’s go gallop.”

“I’m down for that.” I winked at her and she burst out laughing.

“You’re incorrigible, TJ. I swear, you really are.”

“That’s what they all say,” I said and she stuck her tongue out at me. I grabbed her around the waist and then pulled her towards me and gave her a big kiss. “But you’re the only one I care about that says it to me,” I whispered against her lips and I watched as her eyes lit up happily.

***

“I’m out of breath,” Mila said as we got off of the horses to take a break from riding. “This is a really beautiful setting,” she said as she looked around the lush green field. “I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.”

“I know. I can’t believe you’ve never been here before either.” I smiled at her as she bent down to smell some wildflowers.

"This has been really fun," Mila said, her eyes bright and her face flushed as she looked up at me. "Should we head back to the stables now? It's going to be dark soon."

"No, I think we'll be okay," I said and grabbed the bag the girl had given me before we rode off. "We'll let the horses roam for a bit while we sit."

"Sit?" she asked me, surprised.

"We'll sit and eat."

"What are we eating?" She looked down at the flowers again and then at me and I laughed.

“No, Mila. I have a picnic.”

“You have a picnic?” She looked at me with a shocked expression. “Where?”

“In my pants.”

“TJ!”

“I’m joking.” I winked at her and opened the bag that the girl had given me. “Let’s sit.” I sat down on the grass and Mila sat down next to me. I took out two turkey club sandwiches, a bag of chips, some chocolate chip cookies and grapes. “I’m afraid I don’t have any wine or champagne, but I do have plenty of water.”

“Wow, this is amazing. And so thoughtful.” She looked at me with a curious expression. “I have to admit I’m surprised.”

“Why? You didn’t think I could be romantic?”

“I—I don’t really know.” She shrugged. “I’m touched you did this for me.”

“I’m a nice guy, underneath it all.” I smiled at her and handed her a sandwich. “I know that might be hard to believe, but I am a nice guy.”

“I never thought you were a bad guy.”

“That’s good.” I opened the bag of chips and then passed it to her. “Salt and vinegar, I hope that’s okay.”

“You know I love salt and vinegar.” She grinned and grabbed a handful. “You’re just being modest now.”

“Who me?” I laughed and watched as she eagerly ate some chips.