Forever Pucked(18)

He's too far away. I have too many questions. I'm so scared. "Why are  they doing that? Why isn't he moving?" I look to Sidney for answers, but  he doesn't have any.

Sunny folds me in an embrace, and I realize she's as scared as I am.  He's her brother. He's my life. And we have no idea what his injuries  are or how bad it is. They lift him on to the stretcher and wheel him  toward us.

"Out of the way!" the paramedic yells.

Sunny and I are pulled aside. I get the briefest glimpse of Alex. Of his  ashen face. Of the laceration cutting across the bridge of his nose.  The trail of smeared blood across his cheek.

All of those things terrify me, but nothing compares to the crushing fear that swallows me at his complete and utter stillness.

And then we're running. Sidney's practically carrying me as we follow  the EMTs. I'm gripping Sunny's hand as we go. I'm so desperate to touch  him. Be near him. Feel his chest move and make sure he's breathing.  Flashing lights greet us as the doors burst open. They're ready for him,  lifting the stretcher into the ambulance, Alex's limp body rocking with  the movement.

"Wait!" I try to break free of Sidney's grip, but he holds on even tighter. "I'm coming in that ambulance."

One of the EMTs puts up his hands. "You need to calm down, ma'am."

"I'm his fiancée! I need to go with him!" I can't seem to take a breath, and my words are stilted.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I can't let you go in your condition. It's not safe."  He looks to Sidney, whose arms I'm clawing at, trying to get free so I  can be with Alex.

Beneath my hysteria, I know he's right-that I'm likely a distraction and a hazard-but I can't stop the panic.

"I don't want him to be alone." I'm sobbing again, struggling and failing to keep myself together.

Sunny steps forward with her hand raised. "I'm his sister. Can I go?"

The EMT assesses her state. She's so much calmer. "Get in. We need to go. Now."

Sunny looks to me, as if she needs permission. I can't speak any more, so I flail a weak hand toward the ambulance.                       
       
           



       

One of the EMTs helps her up. They're already hooking Alex up to  monitors. Sunny's shoulders curve in; one palm presses against her face,  and the other settles on Alex's arm. It should be me in there. I can't  breathe. He's my everything.

The doors close with a heavy slam, cutting off my view, and drive away with my life, sirens blaring.

It's what my heart would sound like if it could scream, too.





6


Too Close to the Edge



VIOLET





Thankfully the crowd hasn't spilled out of the arena yet to gum up the  parking lot and exits. Sidney's driving with my mom in the passenger  seat. I'm in the back, sandwiched between Charlene and Lily. The ride to  the hospital is painful. I feel like I'm going to barf. My whole body  is numb and hyper-alert at the same time.

Buck calls my phone minutes after we pull out of the parking lot. I try  to answer, but my hands are shaking too badly for me to hit the button.

"Here. Let me get it." Charlene gently pries the phone from my hands and  brings it to her ear. "Hi, Miller …  She's right here with me. He's in  the ambulance, and we're following. Sunny's with him. Vi's having a hard  time. I know …  Yes …  No."

"I want. To talk. To him." I hiccup through the words and hold out my hand.

"Vi wants to talk to you."

Charlene passes me the phone. I can't get the shaking under control. I  think this might be what shock is. I clutch my phone with both hands and  bring it close to my ear. "Buck?" It comes out as a horrible-sounding  sob.

"Shh. It's okay, Vi. He's gonna be okay." His voice is cracking, though, so I don't know if I should believe him.

"He w-wasn't moving. H-he w-w-wasn't-I c-c-can't." I suck in a gasping  breath. I'm losing it again, not that I had anything under control in  the first place.

"He took a hit, Vi. It happens. You gotta trust he's gonna be okay.  We're gonna meet you at the hospital. We're all gonna be there with you.  'Kay?"

"H-how long will you be?"

"Half an hour tops. We're right behind you."

"Do Daisy and Robbie know?"

"I talked to them. They're on the first flight out. They'll be here by morning."

I try not to think about how many hours that is, and what could happen between now and then. "'K-kay."

"He's gonna be fine, Vi."

"He has to be."

"Put Lily on for a sec."

"'K-kay."

As soon as I pass the phone to Lily, Charlene drapes an arm over my  shoulder and pulls me to her side. I'm a snotting, sobbing mess. I can't  stop, and it's making breathing difficult. "I'm scared."

"I know. We all are." This is what I love about my best friend. She  doesn't tell me it's going to be okay when she doesn't know if that's  true. She's just here for me.

I can tell Lily's on the phone with Randy by her tone. I'm crying too  hard to listen. It feels like it takes forever to get to the hospital.  We lose the ambulance at a red light, so I start panicking again. My mom  turns in her seat and holds out her hand. I want to crawl in her lap  and make her tell me it's all a bad dream, like I'm a little kid, even  though I know it's not.

Sidney stops at the emergency entrance, and we pile out. I stumble-run  through the doors. It's busy and bright and loud. Everything is moving  too fast and too slow.

"Vi, take a breath, honey." My mom's hand is on my back.

"I just want to see him." I search for Sunny's blond hair, but there are  too many people, and I can't seem to focus on any one thing.

My mom guides me to intake, which is where we find Sunny. She's not in much better shape than me.

"Did he wake up?" I ask.

Her bottom lip trembles. "He made a noise when they put in the IV, but  that was it. He's had a concussion before, but he's never been out like  this … "

She doesn't have to say more. We both start crying again, because we just don't know.

There are no answers, and all the questions keep piling up, burying me  until I feel like I'm going to suffocate under the pressure.

With Alex's medical information already passed over, we don't have to go  through the process of filling out forms. A very sweet nurse takes us  to a private waiting room while Alex is assessed by a team of doctors.  He'll have the very best care, but it doesn't provide much in the way of  solace when none of us has any idea of how severe the damage is.                       
       
           



       

My knees feel weak, so I sink in to one of the chairs. "I don't even  understand what happened. One minute he was fine and the next … what if … " I  don't finish the statement. I can't think about what ifs. My mom sits  beside me, and Charlene's on my other side. Sunny and Lily are huddled  together across the room.

"So all he did was make a noise? He didn't open his eyes? Not even for a  second? Did the ambulance attendants say anything?" I throw too many  questions at Sunny, grasping for anything positive to hold on to in this  nightmare of a situation.

Sunny rubs her forehead. "It was just the noise. Um, they think maybe he  has a broken collarbone and possibly a dislocated shoulder. He could  have a compressed spine? They're worried about fractures. And trauma to  the brain. They said something about that."

None of what she says makes me feel any better. "But he was wearing a  helmet. His brain should be fine. He should be fine. He has to be fine."  The words spill out in stilted streams as I try to reassure myself.

"He's had injuries before." That's all Sunny says, because what else can she tell me?

I nod. The words are all stuck, and I can't seem to speak any more. I  look down at my hands. They're still shaking. I straighten my engagement  ring, my super-ostentatious, giant diamond gleaming in the horrible  fluorescent lights. It's exactly the kind of ring I expected from Alex:  excessive and beautiful and so much more than I deserve. I won't allow  myself to consider what it means if he's not okay.

Twenty-five minutes later, which seems like a million years in hospital  waiting time, Buck shows up in our little waiting room followed by  Randy, Darren, Lance, and the coach. Their giant frames fill the room,  their deep, male voices low as they ask the same questions I have.

Sunny practically falls into Buck's arms, her sobs shaking them both. He  folds her into his lap and strokes her hair, all soft and sweet-so  different from the stepbrother I knew less than a year ago. Randy goes  to Lily, crouching in front of her, skimming her cheeks with his  fingertips. Lily's like family. Alex is her brother even though they're  not related, so she's almost as upset as Sunny, but she's handling  things a lot better than me.