Forever Light(9)

I look into Landon’s eyes that are practically glowing. “Let’s go.” I’m so entranced that I don’t even care about the game anymore. The only thing and person I care about is Landon Hayes in this moment, nothing else even comes close to comparing.

On the way to the car Landon lights a joint. He smokes practically every day, he says it keeps him calm and helps him focus. He has backed down a little since the start of the playoffs though. Honestly, I don’t know that I’ve ever known the Landon who doesn’t smoke. He cups my face with his hands and starts leaning in for a kiss but it causes him to drop the joint on the wet pavement.

“Ah, damn it.” He sighs looking at the ground. “Hey, Madison, you got another?” Landon yells up to my sister who’s ahead of us.

She holds her hand up and I see Landon’s shoulders slump in relief.

Inside Steven’s moms’ SUV, Madison and Cash sit in the back. Landon and I are in the middle seat, Steven is driving and Alexa is in the passenger seat. Landon is all over the place and refuses to put on a seatbelt. He’s groping me and trying to get my bra off. His shirt is already off and his pants are unbuttoned. Somehow this doesn’t surprise me but I’m not having sex with him in this car, that’s for damn sure.

Madison reaches in her purse and pulls out a joint, lighting it. She smokes and I hate it. I tell her all the damn time to quit but she says she likes it too much.

Landon looks back when the smoke drifts around him.

“Put your clothes back on!” I tell him, shoving his shoulder adjusting my bra.

Landon laughs and grabs his flannel putting it on but doesn’t button it. “I’ll be takin’ yours off soon.” It’s a promise and I’m going to hold him to it once we make it to the house. We’re celebrating tonight.



December 5, 2010

2 AM



I don’t have any idea what time it is, all I do know is we’re just outside of Buxton, Oregon. My eyes are drifting closed and I know time passes but I’m not sure how long. Landon is still going full force, wild and crazy. Madison is barely able to keep her eyes open but somehow she’s hanging in there and seems to have found her second wind. Steven is bopping his head to the music, his eyes on the road. I think Alexa has fallen asleep but I’m not sure. Cash is in the backseat and when I turn my head to look back there he has his hand down Madison’s pants. I blush turning back around attempting to gain control over Landon. Someone needs to.

Minutes later Madison is jumping over the seat trying to get to where Landon is.

“Landon, get back in the car!” I yell tugging on his shirt. He’s got a bottle of beer in his hand and he’s dancing hanging out of the sun roof with Madison now. “There’s a car coming get down.” I yell again but it’s no use. He’s wild and there is no taming him. Landon takes the joint Madison was smoking.

Headlights illuminate the whole inside of the car blinding us all momentarily.

“Landon, get down!” Alexa yanks on Landon’s jeans. He looks up and sees the car coming and tries to get down but Madison is there and he can’t.

Steven swerves into the oncoming lane. “Landon, get it! It’s burning my back!” Fuck, Landon dropped the joint down his back.

Madison falls down on to Steven when he swerves and then falls back into me, hugging me. Landon falls down on Steven next, then into Alexa before landing practically on top of Madison and me.

I see the accident before it happens. I see the headlights, Steven swerves, and his hands are frantic to find the joint that’s burning him. I see Landon fall, Madison laugh. They have no clue what’s coming.

I brace myself for what I know is coming. All I can think is everything’s about to change.

When I try to open my eyes I quickly shut them again. The pain in my head causes me to lose my breath and makes me feel like throwing up. I try again but my eyes burn. I raise my arm to try to wipe at my eyes but immediately put it back down. Fire and pain overtake my whole body and I heave now. There is so much pain. I attempted to lift my head from the seat but it’s no use. I’m in that in-between place of knowing we were in a wreck and honestly not knowing if I was alive or dead. A surreal moment until I hear movement next to me.

Landon’s door opens with a creak and he falls out. I start crying though it’s making my eyes burn even more because I don’t know what’s going on. It’s too quiet. Landon comes around to my side of the car because my sister is laying on the floor boards and Cash is trying to wake her up. Landon picks me up out of my seat and I wince as my head rests against his chest. He sits me on the side of the road and shrugs his shirt off.