Forever Light(35)

The song changes to “Rake City,” the tempo slows down and the bass takes over my body. I turn in Cash’s arms and throw my arms around his neck, “I’m so drunk.”

I know Cash is too. His cheeks are flushed, his eyelids drooping but he’s got that smile that tells me he’s had too many.

He slides a leg between mine and it changes my movements. It’s friction. It’s wrong. It’s so wrong to grind against his leg but I do it anyway. And it feels good. Wrong, but good.

My heart rate picks up. I’m feeling brave, braver then I ever have. This is Cash I try to tell myself, it’s not Landon. Is this how he feels when he had that girl pushed up against the wall? Does he loose himself in the moment?

I look into Cash’s eyes. They’re glazed over.

“Do something stupid.” I whisper into his ear still grinding against him.

A look comes over Cash like he’s unsure what my words even mean. He grabs me by the wrist and leads me down a hall where there are a bunch of people fucking around. Did I push him too far? Can I do whatever is about to happen?

Cash stops and backs me up against a wall. Something is about to really happen and I’m not even doing a damn thing to stop it. He pushes himself against me. “Is that what you want? Me?” Cash whispers in my ear. “I’m not Landon, Macy. I don’t fuck like him either.”

My eyes widen at his admission. I don’t know how anyone fucks. I’ve never been fucked, never even thought about it. Cash takes a step back and his eyes soften. He’s waiting for me to push him away. He’s begging me to push him away.

I shift on my feet from the sudden change. “I wouldn’t know…”

Cash’s eyes roam from my chest to my eyes. “Know what?”

“How you fuck.”

Cash looks away for a second, “Fine,” his hand that he’s leaning near my head goes to the button on his jeans. “Wanna find out…right now?” His lips are moving and he’s saying something else but I can’t hear him. All I see now is him. It’s like my brain shut off for a moment.

Cash’s lips are so close. I can feel his breath against my lips. I let my mind wander.

How would he fuck? It’s like I’m lost in a daydream and my mind creates this vision of what it would be like should I let him.



I see him unbuttoning his jeans. I feel his hardness against my center. I see him lifting my legs up and wrapping his hands around my ass and the feel of what it might be like.

He presses harder, his fingers curling around the edge of my panties as he yanks hard. The fabric digs into my skin and they give as he rips it away.

“You wanted this. Take it.” One hand moves to my neck around my throat and squeezes. My heart thumps against his hand, his eyes are dark and never like I’ve seen before. I know now why my sister has always been drawn to him. Cash is warm and comforting but he doesn’t hold back with anything when it comes to passion, at least not on the field. I know now him having sex is no different. I would crave it, should I give in. Could I give in?

I see the appeal that Madison sees, he possesses you. He’s a monster. He’s not the golden boy everyone thinks he is. Cash makes you see him and the passion that pours out of him like water. You give yourself over to him because that’s all you can do.

If I give in to Cash physically there is no doubt that I would not survive. There would be no more Landon. He would be a distant memory. There would be no more Macy. Cash would have destroyed me and everything that I am. I’d no longer be the girl who wants the soft gentler side that Landon gives me. No, that wouldn’t work anymore. Cash would change everything I know with that all-encompassing passion he exudes.

I look at him and a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips because he knows what I’m thinking. I try to push his arm away but he just squeezes my neck tighter.

“This is what you crave, I know it. I see it in your fucking eyes.”

I try to talk, to tell him this isn’t what I want but I can’t. The pressure he has on my throat stops me. No, it’s not that. I just can’t say the words to tell him that I don’t because a small side of me wants it. He’s fucking possessing me. He’s wiping all of my memories away. He’s showing me what else there is. It’s like he’s a drug and I know I shouldn’t take it but I want to. I’m craving it. Why Madison wouldn’t want this addiction for the one she pays for is beyond my understanding. Cash is all that and more.

Cash leans in and when he talks his lips brush against mine. “I will fuck Landon out of you. You won’t remember anything that he’s ever done to your body. You’ll learn things about your body that you never knew before.” I swallow hard. “I’m going to own your body.”