Filthy Beautiful Forever(21)

My heart slams against my ribs. Tatianna’s not home, as Mia pointed out. And the idea of seeing Mia right now fills me with longing. But I’m drunk. And even through the alcohol haze, I know it’s a piss poor idea.

I don’t trust myself.

With the peanut butter?

With you.

Her reply takes several minutes to come through.

Oh.

We need to talk tomorrow when I'm sober.

Okay.

***

When I wake in the morning, it feels like a dead rat crawled down my throat and set up shop. I blink against the harsh light and curse at myself for drinking so much last night. I vaguely recall Pace dropping me off at home, and then texting with Mia.

Mia.

I told her we would talk about things today.

With a deep sigh, I force myself out of bed, shower and dress. It’s Saturday, which means I should be going to kickboxing, but with the amount of alcohol I consumed last night, that’s not happening.

I make my way downstairs, in desperate need of coffee, and find Tatianna in the kitchen. “Oh, you’re back.” With everything on my mind lately, I’d forgotten she texted me about her change in travel plans.

She lifts up on her toes and kisses my cheek. “I told you I’d be back today.”

While I start the coffee, she fills me in on her trip. Apparently, the photographer was difficult to work with. No surprise there. Tatianna finds most people difficult to work with.

Twisting the cap off a bottle of water, Tatianna turns to me. “So what did you and Mia do while I was gone? Anything exciting?”

“No.” My voice comes out harsh. I feel bad that I haven’t made the time to show her around LA. I know she’d love the farmer’s market, or a visit to the beach.

Tatianna and I sit down side by side at the breakfast table—me immersed in an earnings report on my tablet and her filing her nails into little ovals.

I check my calendar for the week ahead and remind Tatianna about our upcoming trip. “We leave for Paris on Monday.”

She turns to me suddenly. “I can’t go. I have a shoot in New York on Monday and Tuesday.”

“What are you talking about? We’ve had this trip planned for three months.” I’ve been courting an international investor and would be meeting him face to face in Paris where Tatianna and I were supposed to be entertaining him and his wife all week.

“Sorry, but there’s no way I’m canceling,” she says. “I’ve wanted to work with this designer ever since I saw his adorable line of fuzzy boots last fall.”

“You wouldn’t have to cancel it if you hadn’t booked over our trip in the first place.”

She huffs in frustration.

“I need to be able to count on you,” I say.

“And I need you to support my modeling career,” she bites back.

“When have I not supported you?”

She glares at me, her eyes searching mine, but doesn’t respond.

Our conversation is far from over, but I need to get my emotions under control before I do something hasty.





Chapter Ten

Mia





Yesterday’s drinking combined with my inability to sleep last night makes sleeping in all morning sound like a great option. I lie with my eyes closed in the overstuffed bed. It’s like lying in a cloud. I stretch my arms and legs, letting the smooth sheets caress my skin. No matter how far I stretch in any direction, I can’t reach the edge of the bed. Such an expanse of luxury shouldn’t make for a rough night’s sleep.

The words “rough night” doesn’t even begin to cover the rollercoaster of emotions I experienced last night. My eyes blink open as I remember the cause of the unrest. This morning Collins said we would talk. I can only assume we’re finally going to have a conversation about our twenty-year marriage proposal.

Part of me wants to think positive. Maybe the reason he wants to talk is because he’s decided he wants me in his life. My pulse races with excitement at the idea¸ and I pull off the sheets, and I head for the shower.

The water is nice and hot, and I take my time, scrubbing myself from head to toe. If he does want to be with me, will he kiss me again? Will it have all the heat and passion of our stolen kiss in the ocean? I shave my underarms, my legs, and my bikini area. If we shared such a kiss, would it lead to more? Another night alone with him on a boat. Being alone with him—anywhere. My pulse races.

Of course, it will never be as easy as that. He will have to settle things with Tatianna first. So maybe we won’t be able to be together right away, maybe he’ll ask me to give him time to break things off with Tatianna. They’ve been together long enough, and she deserves to be let down first. And it’s the right thing to do.