Filthy Beautiful Forever(19)

Sophie holds out her hand. “Wait, you mean Colton and Pace right? Collins would never goof off like that.”

“What do you mean?” I give Sophie a sideways glance. “He was usually the instigator. When Pace and Colton were small, Collins loved to chase them around making silly faces with threats of tickling. He was out of control.” As I say this, I think of the Collins I knew when I was younger. He loved to pretend like he was serious, but when his silly side came out, that was when he truly shined. Sometimes he would make me laugh so hard I’d almost pee.

I try to imagine Collins doing that now. It’s harder to see, although when we were playing on the boat yesterday, that sparkle had been there in his eyes. For a while he’d laughed out loud, fully enjoying himself like I recall from all my best memories.

Sophie smiles and looks around, like she’s got a secret. “Mia, I don’t know that I was supposed to share this with you, but Colton says Collins is in love with you.”

My face must show the shock I feel from her words because she adds, “He says it like a joke, but I can tell there’s some truth to what he’s saying.” She winks.

Kylie waves her hand and chimes in, “You are so much better for him than Tatianna. I mean, she’s nice, but you actually care about him.” She crosses her arms and leans back. “I can see it in your eyes when you talk about him.”

I try super hard not to internalize what they’ve just said, but it’s nearly impossible. That he could possibly feel the same way I feel about him, and has all these years, would be so wonderful. But I know this is just the romantic in me grasping at whatever thread I can, to hold onto my happily ever after—my fairytale ending.

As the sun begins its descent towards the ocean, Kylie announces that it’s time for them to drop me off. She’s got to get home.

And it hits me. I don’t have a home. As she drives me back to Collins’ house, I begin to wonder what the heck I’m still doing here. Collins made his decision. He’s staying with Tatianna. I shouldn’t stay. I could move back home and live on Leila’s couch while I look for a job.

But that doesn’t sound any better than what I’m doing here. And at least here my reputation hasn’t been sullied by lies. I have a shot at finding a new job. It wouldn’t hurt to at least give the city a chance.

Besides, I’m not even sure he wants to be with Tatianna. I see how they are together. I see how cold she is. And he’s not fawning all over her either. The other night he’d texted me while he was in bed with her. With her.

Why would he text me when his girlfriend is there and about to leave town for several days?

I still have the last text he sent me that night. His reaction to my mention of our childhood promise.

Let's not talk about that yet.

Yet? When I texted him, I was planning to let him off the hook. But he seems to think there’s something still worth talking about. And that sticks with me. In fact, it’s driving me nuts.

As Kylie pulls into Collins’ long drive, I determine that I will confront him about it. I hate the idea of thrusting myself between Collins and his girlfriend, but I can’t continue living in his house in this state of limbo. I’m not sure what he wants exactly, but I don’t think he wants Tatianna. I’m not sure if he wants me. But I need to know.





Chapter Nine

Collins



With Tatianna out of town, there is no way I can go home. A whole house alone with Mia? Fuck no. That would only lead to trouble, and I'm not ready to put myself in a situation like that. At least I'm smart enough to know better. When I picture her big green eyes that follow me around the room, her soft curves that beg for my hands, and the way she always seems so concerned about how I'm doing, if I've had enough to eat... I don't know how to handle her. For once in my life, I'm at a loss about what to do.

So after work, I head over to Colton's place where he and Pace are enjoying a drink in the library. Colton recently added a billiard table and a bar, effectively renovating it into his own personal man-cave.

“There's the old man,” Pace greets me with a smile.

He and Colton have both been teasing me ever since I turned thirty. Pace had the balls to check my hair for grays the last time we had drinks. The fucker.

“What's up, boys?” I ask, sinking down into a leather armchair.

“You tell us,” Colton says, handing me a glass of scotch. “Mia still roomies with you and Tatianna?”

He makes it sound like some sordid arrangement, but shit, maybe it is. My thoughts about her aren't exactly innocent. No, more like dark fantasies that involve her naked skin slapping up against mine.