Filthy Beast(61)

Tara stares at me and for a second, I think she’s going to cry, but she looks away instead. “You’re such an idiot.”

“I’m sick of living a lie,” I say to her, moving closer. I tip her chin toward me. “You understand that, right? I’ve lived a lie for so long now, but I’m finished.”

“You can’t do that again,” she says. “Seriously, I thought you left me all over. I was…” She trails off.

“I know,” I say. “Tara, I love you. I’m never going to leave again. It’s over. We can do this for real.”

Her eyes go slightly wide and I kiss her before she can say anything. I don’t want to hear her respond. I just want her to know that I love her, that I’ve loved her for so long now, and I’ll do anything in the world to make things right.

I’ll sacrifice anything, I’ll move any mountains, I’ll do what I have to do to make her happy. I’m done fucking around. I’m done running away. I’m done going for things that aren’t important.

Tara is important. She’s all that I need.

I break the kiss off and she smiles. “I love you too, idiot.”

I grin at her. “I’m so sorry. I’ll never leave again.”

“You better not.”

I stand and pull her up, kissing her. I press her against the wall, feeling her body, and I know things are going to be okay. I take a second to lock the door before doing what I need to do.

Maybe I could have done things differently. Maybe I could have found another way that didn’t sacrifice my paycheck, but money means nothing. In the end, Tara is all that matters to me, and I’m going to have her for the rest of my life.

No more running. No more games or bullshit. I’m going to live honestly and truly, and the only way to do that is to be with Tara. I know I can’t do anything else.

When I taste her, down on my knees, I know nothing else can taste so sweet for me. And I never want it to.





30





Tara





Two Years Later





The theater is dark and I feel Jackson squeeze my hand as the screen lights up. I smile at him, surprisingly nervous, as the title rolls onto screen:



BRUTALLY DISHONEST



Finally, the movie we’ve been waiting so long to see. It took about a year to film and another year of post-production before it was finally ready, but here we are, sitting in an LA theater at the premiere, and I have no clue if it’s going to be good or not.

After Holly backed off Jackson, things went smoothly. It sucked that he wasn’t getting paid, but at least the movie was surprisingly fun to make. I mean, it was fun because Jackson was there with me, and we snuck off together to have sex or just talk every single spare moment we had. I think we fucked on every surface of that set more than once, and it was glorious. Maybe a little irresponsible, but I think that made it even more exciting.

Jackson found another agent. And true to their word, the studio and his producer didn’t mess with his career. Sure, they’re not likely to work with him again, but at least they’re not actively trying to destroy him, which some people do. I’ve seen it happen before.

But no, not now, not with Jackson. Holly behaved and the movie went on. The production crew all got a nice little bonus because of the money that Jackson gave up, and that just made him even more popular with everyone, since he made sure they knew where it was coming from. The media ate it up that he sacrificed his salary for the crew, or at least that was the story his new PR woman decided to spin.

After we wrapped shooting, he booked another movie right away. Part of his contract included a job for me, so we both traveled all over the globe filming this on location, and it was amazing.

But now we’re back in LA watching the movie that started it all.

I reach to the other side of me and grab Laney’s hand. She grins and winks at me, cool as a cucumber. She doesn’t care if this movie is good or not, since she’s sold a couple more scripts since this one, along with the Holly film.

Which makes me remember, Holly is nowhere to be seen. I grin to myself and whisper to Jackson.

“I wish Holly could be here,” I say.

“I don’t.” He grins and kisses me softly. “I’m sure she loves Death Valley.”

I snicker just as the movie starts. Holly’s face appears on screen, and I’m totally delighted to think about her sweating her ass off in the most uncomfortable location in the world, filming a totally absurd and over the top farce. As it turns out, Holly didn’t read the script at all before signing on to it. While it is about a James Bond-type female character, the whole movie is goofy and silly, totally outside of her range, and I hear she’s really struggling with it.