Filling up the Virgin(14)

To spend time with Nicki, I went to the bar to hang out with her and Rob with Braden and Declan in tow. She knew about us and grudgingly accepted it, though I could see her looking at us oddly from time to time. I was affectionate with both brothers, and I knew that rumors were flying, some negative about how they were sleeping with other women beyond me. There would always be rumors, though this was the first time that I was exposed to them. James’ extracurricular activities were small time compared to being with billionaire brothers with a tainted reputation.

We met for dinner one night, and I looked at her across the table. “What is it?”

“Everyone is talking about you, Poe. They’re saying how foolish you are and even worse,” her eyes showed her pain, and I sipped my drink as I glanced around the small restaurant. “They’re calling you their whore.”

“If someone spoke of your relationship with Rob this way, would you take it to heart or keep on?” I asked as she frowned and looked thoughtfully at me. “I am in love with them, Nicki. They are in love with me. It’s not traditional, I know, but it’s what we want. Just be happy for me.”

“They’re your first everything, Polly. How do you even know that?” Nicki asked as I looked at her. My cheerful best friend was worried about me, and I reached my hand across the table to hold hers. “I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“If I do, it will be worth all of this. They’ve given me life, Nicki. They’ve given me a future, where before I was down so much of the time. Don’t you remember?” I asked as she nodded. “I am not obsessed with my parents anymore or worried about James. Fuck, I’m happy that he found someone else and moved on. So did I.”

“Oh, wow. I’ve never heard you use that word before.” She covered her mouth and laughed.

“I use it a lot now,” I winked at her and Nicki laughed harder.

“You are happier, and I love this edge,” she told me as we held hands across the table. “Fuck the rumors?”

“Fuck all of the rumors,” I agreed in a loud voice, causing several pairs of eyes to look our way before we both gave in to the giggles.

Things eased between us from then on. She joined us at the hotel for dinner with Rob, and in that element, they all got along very well. The men were both in the business world and knew each other already, to begin with, so once Nicki was comfortable, Rob seemed to relax. She and I acted like our usual selves and I could see that Declan and Braden enjoyed seeing me laugh, letting go of things. They were all too aware of the rumors, but it wasn’t their first time in dealing with them. My boys had a wild past, something that I struggled with from time to time. It was what it was, though, and I was assured nightly that I was all that they wanted now. I just had to bask in that and let go of what people were saying since I’d been assured that something new would come along soon. I’d seen it dozens of times, and I trusted in the words of those closest to me.

I visited my mother at her apartment in Long Island on the way to see the twins one weekend, and she poured some tea as she looked at me. I knew that she and Daddy were fighting over finances still and that she was hurting because he had a girlfriend, which explained the circles under her eyes. “You look happy,” she told me and I knew that it was true. All I had to do was compare pictures now and then, and I sipped the tea as I decided what to say to her.

“Well, I am. I have a new internship at a publisher in the city which will be a job when I graduate. It’s what I wanted.” She nodded, and I knew the old version of Mom would be so happy and proud of me. “I am seeing someone now as well.”

“Who is he?” She asked as she looked at me, her eyes matching mine.

“You’ll meet…him sooner or later,” I told her as I smiled. I wasn’t ready to drop the truth on her, and I looked around the apartment. The house was up for sale since she couldn’t afford it with her office job and Dad wanted to get something in the city. “How about you, Mom? Are you seeing anyone?”

“No, Polly. When do I have time? I think that all I do is work and sleep,” she said, a look of irritation on her face.

“You’re beautiful, Mom. Don’t let the stupid thing that Dad did take that away from you,” I told her as her face softened. “It’s just a part of your life.” She used to have friends and a whole life apart from her marriage, and I knew that she could again. “Just live and see what you find. You’re doing okay here, right?”

“I’m making it. I have the bills and food on the table. I just haven’t felt like going out too much.” She nodded as I smiled.