Fathom(5)
“Thayde,” I began.
“No, Morgan,” he held up his hand this time. “Please don’t say any more.” With that, he walked out of my room.
Chapter Two
Problems
Two days passed and Thayde still had not returned. The Chinese food I’d ordered the night of our fight lay uneaten and smelly on the dining room table. After Thayde left, I justified my actions to myself, insisting he’d overreacted. After a day of playing the scene over and over in my head, I realized it was I who had gone too far. The guilt wracked me to the core.
Why was I suddenly thinking these strange thoughts? Why was I being so cruel to the man I loved? This was not what I wanted – it wasn’t me. But it was me; I had said it and I had hurt him. My body was at war with itself. It was as if the old me was slowly being replaced with a new, cruel and angry person. It left me feeling alone and out of control; something I’d never experienced. For once in my life, I was terrified of being on my own.
I didn’t leave the apartment for fear I’d miss Thayde if he returned. Despite the number of times I attempted to reach him on his cell, it went directly to voicemail. By the second day, I’d given up calling. I also realized I hadn’t eaten but when I tried, I immediately threw it up. After, I curled up in the corner of my room with my cell phone, praying he’d call and say he was all right.
With each minute that passed, I grew more and more anxious until I felt I was going to explode with worry and fear. The only person who could comfort me was Thayde and I knew if I didn’t get hold of him, something bad was going to happen.
My shaking fingers were barely able to dial his cell number. When it went to voice mail again, I tried to leave a message, but my voice would not work. It was as if my body wanted to shut down.
The scratchy carpet irritated my skin but I ignored it as I lay there, staring blankly ahead of me, while images and thoughts of what could have happened to him filled my mind. What if he had been hit by a car and was in the hospital? What if he had been mugged? What if he had a friend that was a girl that he was visiting? I couldn’t bear the thought. It was then I heard a voice – a voice I didn’t recognize.
“You should pick yourself up and take a shower.”
I couldn’t find the energy to lift my head and look at the person who had spoken.
“I’m not going anywhere.” I croaked.
“He’s not coming back.”
I didn’t answer. He’d be back sometime and when he did, I’d be here.
“Call your parents and go back home. You can’t do anything.”
“Leave me alone.” I curled tighter into a ball.
I don’t know how long I was asleep, but when I woke, the apartment was dark. I didn’t try to move. I didn’t want to do anything but lay there. My heart was a rock and I could hardly find the will to breathe. He said he’d be with me always and now he was gone. And it was all because of me.
“He lied to you.” The voice was viperous.
“No,”
“Yes, they always do. Women are a convenience for men.”
“No!” I couldn’t believe that.
A faint dripping sound caught my attention and I struggled to look around. A droplet of water fell on my nose and when I looked up, I had to blink several times to make sure what I was looking at was real. Dark green swirls of water began to curl about the ceiling in a beautiful dance. It was as if I were suspended upside down over a stormy ocean. The waves began to undulate violently, reaching toward me. Slowly, the water began to fill the room, falling closer and closer.
Frozen in both horror and awe, hundreds of emotions ripped through me. My mind was saturated with memories of the past and those of the future. Reaching with one hand toward the water, I felt myself smile. Why would I smile? This was unnatural. Maybe it was because I hadn’t been in the ocean for a few months. The water teased me, dancing just beyond my reach.
Suddenly, my brain overloaded like a water balloon stretched to the max and I started to convulse. My eyes rolled back in my head and my arms fiercely beat the floor. Pain. The muscles in my legs seemed to be tearing themselves away from the bone and as fire swept my whole body, I couldn’t find the strength to scream. I found relief when the cool waves above me touched my skin. It wasn’t until I was fully immersed that the pain and fear disappeared.
When I opened my eyes, I found myself suspended halfway above my bed. The entire room was completely filled with sea water and when I looked down, I had phased into my golden tail. Swimming to the giant windows, I looked out at the city lights sparkling against the black backdrop of the night. Normally, it would have been beautiful but instead, I felt confined and claustrophobic.