Fathom(3)

“Do you know how lovely you are to me?” He asked and my hand immediately flew to my bed head.

He laughed and sat next to me. “Yes, even with the bird’s nest.”

I giggled. He placed the lily next to my glass of orange juice and sat back, looking at me with his dark blue eyes.

Did he know how lovely he was to me? Probably not. It was like looking at perfection. His black hair had grown out in the last few months and it fell lazily about, framing his face. I could hardly resist the urge to leap upon him and devour him.

Ever since we had corded, our intense feelings for each other had multiplied. Because cording only happened with merpeople, allowing them to feel what the other was feeling, read each other’s minds and finish each other’s sentences, it was new to me, and at times, too overwhelming. It meant I experienced my feelings for him as well as his feelings for me. My desires for Thayde were barely containable.

Thayde must have been thinking the same thing because he leaned forward and kissed me, his mouth open and warm. I wound my arms around his neck, pulling him to me and we sank into the pillows.

Placing my hands above my head, he ran his hands down my arms and around my back, pulling me upwards toward him. I could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest.

“I love you,” he breathed between kisses.

“I love you.” I mumbled back. If I could have stayed that way forever, I would. It was pure pleasure being kissed so lovingly by a man who not only confessed his unfailing love, but was all I’d ever wanted.

“Morgan,” he whispered, rubbing the side of his face softly against mine.

I knew what we both wanted and I was certainly willing. He was, after all, my fiancé. What was frustrating was the most we’d ever done was kiss. I wanted to go further but Thayde was always the one who backed down, reminding me of our pledge to my parents.

As we kissed, I began to fumble with his shirt. Taking my cue, he pulled me forward and we both rose to our knees in the middle of my bed. He slid his hands under my tank top, pulling it over my head. I ended up ripping his shirt when the last two buttons wouldn’t undo and he eased out of it.

Kissing my neck, he moved down to my collarbone, gently sliding my bra strap over my shoulder. As he moved to the other side and began to do the same, goose bumps rose on my skin.

“Thayde,” I breathed, surprising myself.

He paused long enough to lay me back against the pillows. His kisses trailed my collarbone, over the top of my bra, to my stomach, where his hands caressed my sides. Reaching toward his head, my fingers found his soft black hair and played through it. Goose bumps begin to appear over my entire body and it was then that he laid his head lightly on my stomach.

“Morgan, I want to be with you more than anything,” he hesitated, looking away. “But I can’t listen to my heart at the moment. I want you to be my wife when we’re together.”

“You don’t want to be with me now?” I asked, slightly hurt, the wheels in my head starting to click. Playing like this was one of the most frustrating things I’d had to deal with and each time was harder than the last.

“Yes!” His intense eyes darted back to mine. “More than you’ll ever know. If I could have you now, I would.”

“Then have me!” I pulled him toward my face, wrapping my legs around his waist. “I want to be with you!”

He smiled, his eyes full of love, and traced a finger down the bridge of my nose. “Not yet. We can’t.”

I felt indignant. “Can’t? We do this all the time!” Unwrapping my legs, I sat up. “I’m practically naked, Thayde!”

“I know,” he dropped his head. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t do that!” I pulled his face toward mine. “Don’t ever say you’re sorry. I want to be with you. Don’t you know how much I want this?”

He nodded leaving me feeling a little stupid. Of course he knew. Part of what I was feeling was what he was feeling and vice versa. It was all part of the cording. Maybe that was why I was feeling so hot tempered at the moment; too many emotions from Thayde and me pushed together. It was almost unbearable.

Thayde watched the realization dawn on me and kissed me delicately on the lips.

“You know how much I want this too, but we should wait.”

I relented. He was right – he was always right. We had to wait until we were married. Fooling around this much shouldn’t have happened. It was the ‘proper’ thing to do. I put my arms around his back and pulled him close to me, his head resting on my shoulder. His fingers trailed my skin just below my collarbone as he made his way to my fallen bra strap, pulling it back over my shoulder. After a few moments of silence, he spoke.