Fashionably Dead Down Under(94)

Again. God was so beautiful it was almost impossible to look at him.
God and Satan entered the room together and gasps went through the crowd. Angels and Demons alike were stunned to silence by the sheer power and beauty that stood before them. God was light to Satan’s dark, but the similarities were uncanny. The mouths and noses and high cheekbones were almost identical. I was surprised his eyes were the same golden as his brother’s. I suppose I thought they would be blue. His hair was blond and he wasn’t bearded and robed as I’d imagined as a child. Nope, he was built like a brick shithouse, same as Satan. His appeal was far less overtly sexual than his brother’s, but he was no less mesmerizing.
Several women passed out and I noticed they were of both Angel and Demon descent. The other Sins and Amanda stood off to Satan’s side and several female Angels stood off of God’s shoulder. I was hoping Cousin Jesus would come, but that would have to wait for another time.
Mister Rogers and Hemingway went to my uncles and paid their respects, then a line formed. God laughed at something Mister Rogers said and it rang like a symphony and bounced off the walls of the room. Satan rolled his eyes at the rabid hysteria his brother was causing, but did his very best to contain himself. Everyone wanted to meet God and everyone wanted a picture.
“Holy shit, did you see that?” Ethan chuckled and pointed to Satan making finger horns behind God’s head in a series of photos. I burst out laughing and buried my face in Ethan’s chest.
“Where did Grandpa go?” I asked as I watched Satan pinch his nose and act as if God smelled bad in a new round of pictures.
“He said he’d be back soon. He apparently forgot something.”
“Should we get in line?” I asked.
“I don’t think we have to.”
“Why? We can’t cut because that would be rude.”
“We don’t have to because they are coming to us.”
“What? Oh, shit.”
He was correct. They were headed straight for us and my knees were in danger of buckling. They made a brief pit stop at Dixie. God studied her for several minutes and then took her in his arms and gently hugged her. He seemed sad. It was odd and made me uncomfortable . . . like I was intruding on something I wasn’t supposed to see. She blushed and hugged him back. Satan seemed bizarrely satisfied with this action. It appeared to mean more than just a simple hug to him. I tucked that away for future reference, but I was sure he would deflect.
My uncles approached me with a look of determination on their faces. God’s gaze was gentle and filled with curiosity and Satan’s was excited. A marching band quickly formed in my stomach and began practice for the first time. They were off key and they had no rhythm whatsoever.
God took my hand in his and led me to a platform on the middle of the room. How had I not noticed this? The three of us walked up seven steps and stood on top.
“Astrid, it is lovely to finally meet you,” he said in a voice that filled every part of me with warmth and light. “I have heard so much about you from your Guardian Angel Pam and your nana.”
My lips trembled and my smile was shaky. I had never been in a presence like his. I wanted to curl up at his feet and simply listen to him breathe. “You look different than I expected,” I said and then immediately backtracked. “I mean you look great—better than great. I bet you have to beat the Angel ladies off and . . . Oh my God . . . ” I slapped my hand over my mouth and wanted to die. I just implied God was a player and then took his name in vain while I was talking to him. Shitshitshit.
His laugh and the way his eyes crinkled with amusement calmed me a bit, but not much. I decided to keep my trap shut. I had no idea what might come out and I did not want to give God a reason to smite me.
Everyone in the room was watching with interest. The large doors to the hallway reopened and masses of Angels and Demons piled in. What was happening? I searched for Ethan, but he’d been swallowed up in the crowd.
“Ethan, where are you?” I asked frantically.
“I’m here, but your grandfather is being mauled by your cousins, I’m trying to get him to safety. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay,” I said. “But hurry . . . it’s getting weird in here.”
“Tell me about it. I think they might have broken his ribs.”
Holy Hell, Grandpa’s cuteness was going to get him killed one of these days.
“Attention everyone,” Satan bellowed. The room of over five hundred quieted. “You have been called here from both Heaven and Hell for a reason. We are here to celebrate the next True Immortal.”