Fantasy Lover(40)

"I was young and stupid," she said softly.

"The pig took advantage of the fact she was grieving over the death of her parents," Selena said, her voice filled with acrimony. "He was one of those 'I just want to take care of you' lying creeps who use you, and then leave you the minute he has what he's after."

"He hurt you?" Julian asked.

Grace nodded.

Another wave of peculiar anger ripped through him. He didn't know why it mattered to him what had happened to her, but for some reason he couldn't fathom, it did.

And he wanted vengeance on her behalf.

He saw her hand shaking. Covering it with his, he gently stroked the backs of her knuckles with his thumb.

"I only slept with him once," she said quietly. "I know there's supposed to be pain the first time, but not like that. And as much as it hurt physically, the worst pain was from the fact that he didn't seem to care. It felt like I was just there to serve him, that I wasn't even a person to him."

Julian's stomach knotted. He knew that feeling all too well.

"Later that week," Grace continued, "when he didn't call or answer his phone, I went by his apartment to see him. It was spring and he had his window open. As I walked by I…" She choked on a sob.

"He and his roommate had a bet going to see who could deflower the most virgins for the year," Selena said. "She overheard them laughing about her."

Rage, dark and deadly, descended on him. He'd known such men, personally. And he never could stand them. Indeed, he had taken great pleasure in purging the earth of their fetid presence.

"I felt so used, so stupid," Grace whispered. She looked up at him. The agony in her eyes seared him. "I don't ever want to feel that way again." She covered her face with one hand, but not before he saw the humiliation in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Grace," he whispered, pulling her against him.

So, that was it. That was the source of her demons. Julian held her tightly, and leaned his cheek against the top of her hair. The soft, feminine scent of flowers surrounded him.

How he longed to soothe her. And how guilty he felt. No doubt Penelope had felt just as used by him. The gods knew he had done her far more harm in the end.

He should be damned, he thought bitterly.

He had more than earned it, and he wouldn't hurt Grace anymore. She was a good woman with a good heart, and he refused to take advantage of it.

"It's all right, Grace," he said softly, wrapping his arm around her head to cradle it. He kissed her lightly on the top of her head. "I would never ask you to do this for me."

Grace looked up at him in stunned surprise. She couldn't believe he would say such a thing. "I can't not do it."

"Yes you can. You just walk away."

There was such a haunted note to his voice. It was strange and foreign, and spoke volumes about the man he had once been. "Do you really think I could do that?"

"Why not? Every member of my family did it to me. You don't even know me." His gaze turned dull as he released her.

"Julian-"

'Take my word for it, Grace. I'm not worth it." He swallowed hard before he spoke again. "As a general, I was relentless in battle. I can still see the horror-stricken eyes of a thousand men who perished under my sword as I hacked them to pieces without the tiniest bit of remorse."

He met Grace's gaze. "Now why would you ever want to save someone like me?"

In her mind's eye, she saw the way he had cuddled the boy in his arms, heard the way he had threatened Cupid should his brother harm her, and she knew why. He might have done those things in the past, but he wasn't pure evil.

He could have raped her at any time. Instead, the man who had so seldom known kindness had only held her.

No, in spite of his past crimes, there was goodness in him.

Julian had merely been a man of his time. A general in an ancient world forged by battles. A man who had been raised on a battlefield under brutal conditions she couldn't even imagine.

"And your wife?" Grace asked.

A tic began in his jaw. "I lied to her, betrayed and tricked her, and in the end I killed her."

Grace tensed at his unexpected words. "You killed her?"

"I may not have been the one who took her life, but I killed her just the same. Had I not…" His voice trailed off as he clenched his eyes shut.

"What?" she asked. "What happened?"

"I tampered with my destiny and hers, and in the end the Fates punished me for it."

Grace wouldn't let it go at that. "How did she die?" "She went mad when she learned what I'd done to her. What Eros had done…" Julian buried his face in his hands as memories tore through him. "I was a fool to ever believe Eros could make someone love me."