F*ck Love(87)
He disappears back into the house, but a minute later he sends me a text. It's a picture of our bed. Fuck, Love? It says underneath it. I laugh, and take a selfie because I am happy, and this is a weird night. Before I go inside I glance at the road one last time, wondering where Muslim will go from here. A lion on the prowl. I can hear a noise—something distant—a helicopter, maybe?
Ra
ta
ta…
I can say fuck love all I want, but over the last few years, people have shown me such extraordinary love. Love enough to restore some of the parts of me I let slip away. 2015 started rough for me, and then continued to be rough. I would like to thank the people who stood with me, refusing to take “no” for an answer, and taking up both sword and shield to fight for me.
Christine Sams is both strange and wonderful and inexplicably kind, despite the bitter little deliveries life has sent you. Thank you for my house. This book is really for you--you who should have said “Fuck love” a long time ago, yet you continue to believe in the goodness of people. Nights drunk on Benadryl are my favorite. One day we will tell everyone your story. Slytherin!
Jenn Sterling, I won’t lie to you. Except when I do. I love you. Gryffindor!
Lyndsay Matteo, there’s never been a friendship created by a bigger mess. I don’t even know what to say. I feel like we can turn any bullshit into something beautiful. Please fight hard for the things you want. I believe in you. Gryffindor!
Ma and Pa Capshaw, for watching my small people so I could write this book. Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw!
Nina Gomez, every time I call you freaking out about something you laugh at me. Like genuine laughter. I have your laugh memorized, because you laugh at me so often. You approach problems like a prophetic ninja. It’s half faith, half combat. I’ve believed in myself more because of your prophetic ninja laughter and the way you always say, “You’ll be fine. You’re Tarryn Fisher.” Seriously, though. Thank you for my house. And for laughing at me. Slytherin!
Thanks to Jennifer Stiltner for answering all of my questions and volunteering part of your story for this book. Slytherin! (Yes, don’t argue)
Jaime Eee-what-sue-roo, for that late night text that sent me back to Banks. I needed Banks. I needed you. You are an exceptional human, Jaime. I love you. Gryffindor!
Kavika, my tattoo artist and the most self-evolved human I’ve ever met. That conversation about contrast, Kavika! I’m still waiting on your blog. Gryffindor!!
Serena Knautz, lover of my soul. We will never have bad blood, though we will drink the blood of our enemies. Too much? Gryffindor!
Claire, the perfect girl for the job. I love your beautiful heart. Gryffindor!
Madison Seidler, for a truly giving and self sacrificial heart. Thank you for always talking things over with me and fixing my serious punctuation issues. You make me laugh, because you make fun of me; also, you’re insane. Slytherin!
MariPili Menchaca, thank you for the beautiful cover. You were the right person for the job. I think you deserve the most beautiful love. It will come. Ravenclaw!
Jovana, I really, really appreciate you. You always fit me in. I keep expecting you to tell me to go to hell, and you never do. You are so good to me. Ravenclaw!
My unicorn, Amy Holloway, who brought me to the magical town of Port Townsend. I don’t know, if PT is magical because you’re there, or if you’re magical because you’re in PT. But, either way you ain’t no Muggle. My soul loves you so hard, Amy. Ravenclaw!!
Lori, you don’t speak Parseltongue, that’s okay. Tongues! Thank you for warring with me, and dreaming things when I can’t see them clearly. All my life I prayed for someone like you. I can’t sort you, Lori. I think maybe Gryffindor, but you remind me of myself. We’ll leave it to the Sorting Hat.
Do I have to thank Colleen again? God, I’m so sick of thanking Colleen. Shit, she’s so great, you know? Thank you, Colleen. You’ve made a circus out of our friendship. Filthy Muggle.
And finally, Joshua. Who stayed all winter. I love you. Gryffindor!