Errors of Judgment(99)

‘Possibly.’ The waitress brought the bill. Then Gabrielle said, ‘Can I ask you something?’

‘Of course.’

‘Now, don’t go taking this the wrong way, or anything – I know you’re very broad-minded, but … well, anyway. Do you think Leo, when you knew him, was ever interested in boys? I mean, that he might be bisexual?’

Jacqueline laughed in astonishment. ‘No, I never thought that! Not for a moment! What an extraordinary thing!’ She handed a twenty to the waitress. ‘Why do you ask?’

‘Oh, nothing. Well, something I heard. A rumour.’

‘It’s a long time since I knew him. Who knows the kind of man he is nowadays? Maybe … well, let’s not speculate. Nowadays such things don’t matter. People are what they are.’

‘Very “Cage Aux Folles”, Mummy. Very liberal.’

‘But it’s true! Don’t laugh at me. I really don’t care.’ Jacqueline took her change. ‘Do you?’

‘Do I? Of course not. I’m just intrigued.’

‘Well, Leo is an intriguing man. Let’s leave it at that.’ She put her purse into her handbag. ‘Shall we go?’

It was over three weeks since Sarah had moved out. Leo was surprised how much he missed her. Even if living with her had lacked the erotic angle he’d anticipated, her presence in the house had given it energy and cheerfulness, evoking memories of the Oxford summer. The physical distance which she maintained had been puzzling and frustrating, after the passionate interlude of Grand Night, but he had put it down to the break-up with Toby. It had clearly affected her more than she had expected. Understandable, he supposed. Sex was always something that could be put on hold.

Now that she was gone, Leo found himself mulling over the situation, wondering if he hadn’t misread it. She’d said she had changed her mind about marrying Toby – hadn’t she? On the strength of which he’d set about seducing her, thinking she wanted it as much as he did, that she didn’t care about the risk to her relationship with Toby. But what if his assumption had been wrong? What if, without his interference, she and Toby might still be together? If that was the case, she probably blamed him as much as herself. No wonder she’d wanted, in the end, to get away.

Leo had never much cared where his desires led him, or what chaos they wrought in other people’s lives, but the idea that he might have been responsible in some measure for destroying Sarah’s happiness – even if he had thought Toby not good enough for her – troubled him. She was someone he truly valued. It was as though she was a part of him. Even in the last few years, when they had seen nothing of one another, she had always been there, in some corner of his mind. And now he might have estranged her for good.

Sarah had just come back from the supermarket when her mobile buzzed. She set down the shopping, kicked the front door shut, and pulled her phone from her pocket. When she saw Leo’s name on the screen, her heart dipped, and as she took the call, her fingers shook a little.

‘Hi.’

‘Hi. I just called to see how you are.’

‘I’m fine, thanks.’

‘How’s the new job going?’

‘It’s great. I’m working hard, making sure I keep my nose clean. My boss Geraldine is vaguely insane, but really nice.’

‘That’s good. And the new flat?’

‘Yeah, it’s fine. I’m still getting used to it. I only got the rest of my stuff out of storage last weekend, so the place isn’t quite straight. But I like the area. Actually, I realise I prefer Fulham to Kensington. Less up itself. More of a buzz.’

‘Not much buzz around here. Without you, I mean.’

‘I should think you prefer the peace and quiet. And having less mess. I wasn’t a very tidy house guest.’

‘I miss all that. I miss you.’ There was silence for a moment, then Leo said, ‘Look, I called to see how you were, but also because I felt I had to say something about – about what was going on while you were here.’

‘Please, let’s forget it.’

‘I know why you left, and I don’t blame you. I should have said something at the time.’

She saw he was intent on being serious. Her heart sank a little. Why tell her now about his lover? She didn’t want to know. ‘It doesn’t matter. Just took me a while to realise.’

So she did have regrets about Toby. The least he could do was apologise for the part he’d played. ‘I’m sorry. My expectations were crass. I probably took it too much for granted, that you and I understood one another.’