Dylan’s Redemption(53)
No question Dylan wanted the baby and Jessie. Over the anger and despair he felt now, the longing for both of them grew. This couldn’t be real. How could he want them this much and live with knowing he’d lost them? Jessie would never forgive him.
It wasn’t fair that one person could interfere in two lives and change them forever. Dylan’s mother had interfered, and he and Jessie paid the price.
How could he fix this? Greg said she’d closed herself off from people, men. He understood why, but he’d held out hope he’d find a way to convince her take the chance to love him again. With every damning word Greg spoke that hope faded.
“Jessie worked for Dad and me throughout her pregnancy. She went to the doctor and took care of herself. Dad and I helped her as much as she let us. We were with her the day she went into labor.”
Dylan sat quietly listening, so Greg continued. “We took her to the hospital. You’d have been proud of her. She was a trooper through all sixteen hours of labor. Dad and I stayed, and Jessie brought that beautiful girl into the world.”
The longer Dylan sat listening to Greg tell him what he should have witnessed firsthand, the angrier he got. Dylan added up everything, calculating just how much he’d missed out on and lost. Greg had been there and seen his daughter born, while he had been in the military and none the wiser, thinking Jessie dead and gone.
“Hope arrived, six pounds and ten ounces. She had dark hair like yours and blue-gray eyes. The nurse said most babies have that color eyes when they’re born and they change. We’ll never know what color they might have been. Hope wasn’t breathing well, so they took her to the neonatal intensive care unit and a specialist checked her out. She got some fluid in her lungs during the delivery. They monitored her and gave her some medicine to clear her lungs.
“Jessie was frightened and hurting. She wanted her baby and they wouldn’t let her see her for a few hours while Jessie rested and recuperated from the delivery. I stayed with her and over the next couple days I took her in a wheelchair to see Hope. She’d sit and hold Hope. She’d cry and tell her about her daddy.”
Dylan groaned. After everything, to hear that Jessie told their daughter about him was too much to bear.
“Daddy, don’t cry. It’s okay.” Will hugged him close.
“Daddy’s very sad, little man. My heart is broken.”
“Mommy will fix it. She can kiss it better. I’ll ask her when she wakes up.”
Dylan hugged Will tighter. He’d have to explain he couldn’t just pick Jessie to be his mother. As much as Dylan wanted Jessie back, he didn’t think she’d ever forgive him for not being there when their daughter died.
“Finish it,” Dylan demanded, knowing there was still more to tell.
Greg took a deep breath, leaned his head back, closed his eyes, and held back tears. Dylan read Greg’s pain and felt it as his own.
“You want to know how she died?”
Dylan nodded and Greg reluctantly finished the sad tale. “She was a beautiful baby. Her breathing and overall health improved, and then on the third day she had a reaction to some medication the doctors gave her. It weakened her even more. Jessie stayed with her every second the doctors allowed. On the fifth day she stopped breathing. They tried to revive her. They couldn’t bring her back. Her lungs were too weak and damaged. Hope never took another breath on her own. It took them the better part of six hours to get Jessie to give her up. She wouldn’t let anyone touch Hope. She sat rocking her in her arms.”
Greg wiped his eyes. “Sorry, the memory is too painful to bear.” He cleared his throat, choking back the tears as best he could. “I took Jessie home, helped her make the funeral arrangements, and two days later we buried Hope. It’s like I told you. She lost Hope, her daughter, and all the hope in her heart.”
“What did she put on the grave marker?” Dylan asked in barely a whisper.
“Do you want to know her name? Her whole name.”
Dylan nodded.
“The gravestone reads, ‘Hope Danielle McBride.’ Below the dates of her birth and death, it reads, ‘Mommy’s little girl.’”
“She named the baby after me. She gave her my name.” Dylan’s voice broke.
“Yes,” Greg said. “There’s nothing else to say. Jessie loved you. She loved you enough to name your daughter after you, even though at the time, she thought you didn’t want them.”
“She was devastated. You said you thought she wanted to die.” Dylan could just imagine how Jessie felt. He wanted to curl up and die right now too. The only thing that kept him from shattering and in one piece was his son now playing on the floor and Jessie lying hurt in a hospital bed.