Dream Wedding(76)
“Chloe, don’t make me do this. Let me stay a couple more days.”
“No. It will only hurt more. I need to start getting over you and today is as good a day as any. Just promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“Promise me you won’t read the article until you’re on the island.”
His body felt strange. All tight and hurting. He wanted to beg her to come with him. He wanted… That was the problem, he realized. He didn’t know what he wanted.
“You’re just afraid I’m going to be critical,” he said, hoping his voice sounded at least close to normal.
“That’s it exactly. Promise?”
“I give you my word. I won’t read it until I’m on the island. Of course I’ll have to read it during the day, what with there being no electricity and all.”
She made a noise that sounded more like a strangled sob than a laugh, but he let it go.
“I’m going to miss you,” he said.
“Me, too. So much. You’ve been wonderful. All of it.”
He cleared his throat. “Maybe I could come back. You know, at the end of the summer. Just to say hi and see how you are.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I won’t be over you enough by then.”
“Chloe?”
She exhaled sharply. “Don’t ask me what that means, okay? Just accept it as the truth. I can’t promise very much right now. It’s j-just—” Her voice cracked. “I guess this is harder than I thought.”
“Chloe, I want to see you before I leave.”
“You can’t. I have to go to work. Jerry’s going to read the article this morning and we’ll be editing it all afternoon. Your plane leaves around one, right? So there’s no time.”
“I’ll make time. I’ll keep the original flight.” He wasn’t sure why, but he suddenly had a sense of urgency about seeing her. That if he didn’t, he would lose something very precious and important.
“Why?” she asked. “Nothing is going to change. You’re still going to be leaving and I’m still going to stay here. It would hurt, too much.” She paused. “Tell you what. Call me when you get back from your island. If things have settled down and you still want to see me, maybe we can work that out. Okay? But you don’t have to. I mean, if you’ve met someone else, I’ll understand.”
“There’s not going to be anyone else. You’re the one—” He stumbled verbally. “I really care about you.”
“Thank you for saying that. Look, Arizona, I have to go. Have a safe trip.”
She hung up.
He stared at the phone a long time before replacing the receiver. Something was wrong. He could feel it. This wasn’t right. Usually he was itching to leave, but this time he wanted to stay. What did that mean?
He would call her back, he decided. Then the voice in his head asked, “And say what?”
He didn’t have an answer to that. What would he say? That he cared about her? He did. But that wasn’t enough. He knew that now. Chloe wanted and deserved more than the temporary relationship he could offer her. She deserved a commitment.
He glanced around the hotel room, which was exactly like a hundred others he’d called home over the years. What did he know about commitment? His entire life had been devoted to wanderlust. The only thing he’d ever committed to had been getting his various degrees and those had been acquired at an assortment of universities around the world. Stay in one place? Be with one woman? Whom was he trying to kid?
Determined to put this behind him, Arizona got up, pulled his suitcase from the closet and began to pack.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHLOE WAITED NERVOUSLY while Jerry finished up his phone call. He’d kept her waiting nearly ten minutes, which wasn’t all that long except her nerves were shot. She’d had nearly no sleep the previous night and she didn’t know how she was going to get through the day…let alone the rest of her life. She’d let Arizona go. She glanced at the clock and realized he would already be in San Francisco to catch his flight. It was too late to change her mind, too late to offer to go with him, too late to ask him to stay. Too late to realize she might have made the biggest mistake of her life.
Her editor put down the phone and looked at her. His gaze narrowed. “It’s too long and too emotional,” he said without even a greeting to start the conversation. “You got too close to your subject. Didn’t they teach you anything at college?”
Chloe willed herself to stay calm and keep from flushing. She’d tried so hard to be impersonal as she’d written the piece. Obviously, she’d failed.