Dream Wedding(133)

“Okay, sure.”

But as she watched, his gaze strayed to the clipboard resting on the table. Trying not to show her annoyance, she reached out and turned it over so he couldn’t read it anymore. “This is important,” she told him.

“Fine. I’m listening.”

“I…” Her mind went blank. “It’s just…well…” Then the words came in a rush. “You didn’t touch me just now. Not even a kiss on the cheek.”

His mouth tightened as his blue eyes narrowed. “Is that what this is about? Are we going to talk about our feelings again? I’m willing to do that, Cassie, but not now and not here. It’s the middle of my workday. We’re in my store. I’m not going to entertain my employees with a passionate embrace. If that bothers you, I’m sorry.”

She took a sip of her diet soda and tried to smile. “You’re absolutely right. This isn’t the time or place to talk about feelings and I don’t expect a passionate embrace at your place of work. But you didn’t touch me at all. I’m not angry, I’m simply pointing out the obvious. We don’t touch anymore. We haven’t for a long time.”

He sighed heavily, the world-weary sound of a logical male about to be exposed to the irrational thinking of a female. Cassie promised herself no matter what, she wasn’t going to lose her temper.

“Don’t,” she told him. “Don’t say anything, just listen.”

He frowned, then nodded. “If you’d prefer.”

“I would.” She took a deep breath. All right. She had his attention. Now what was she going to do with it?

In the car on the way over she’d discarded a couple dozen ways of telling him the truth. She wasn’t sure of the correct tone, or proper sequence of the words that would explain what was going on with her. Despite the practice, all she could think of was a bald statement of the facts.

“Working for Ryan has become a problem,” she said. “It’s not him, it’s me. I have feelings for him.” She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, so she stared at the hard plastic table. “It’s just a crush. I mean what else could it be? I barely know the man. But it’s there and it doesn’t seem to be going away.”

“Is that it?” Joel asked.

Cassie raised her head and met his steady gaze. “What do you mean, ‘is that it?’ Isn’t that enough? We’ve been together for nine years, I confess to having feelings for another man and that’s all you can ask me?”

“Oh, honey, you’re making too much out of this. Of course you have a crush on Ryan. What young woman in your position wouldn’t? He’s older, he’s successful, he’s sophisticated. I’m sure he can be quite charming. If you hadn’t noticed him I would have worried about you. It doesn’t mean anything.” Joel’s smile was warm and friendly. “Is that what all this is about? Have you been worrying yourself over nothing? That’s so like you, Cass.”

She couldn’t speak. She could only stare. Maybe it was her hearing. Maybe some connection to her brain had malfunctioned and words were getting messed up or turned around.

“You don’t care,” she managed between stiff lips.

“Of course I care. You mean the world to me. But I’m not worried about your crush on Ryan. As soon as he’s out of your life, you’ll forget all about him.”

He was taking this way too calmly, she thought. Maybe he was the one with the broken brain. “There’s more,” she told him.

“I’m listening.”

“We kissed.” She waited, but there was no reaction. “It was just once. I mean it was just one event, but during those few minutes we kissed several times.”

Still no reaction. Joel nodded as if to show he was listening, but there wasn’t any obvious anger or displeasure on his part. For all she knew he was thinking about his problems with the housewares department.

She set her forearms on the table and leaned toward him. “It wasn’t like when you and I kiss, Joel. There was no holding back. I felt…I felt things I’ve never felt before. I wanted him…passionately.”

She paused, then realized she was done. What else was there to say? Except maybe the obvious. “I’m sorry,” she added in a low voice. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Ah, Cass.”

He glanced at his watch. She blinked. His watch? Like he was late for something more important? “Joel, I’m telling you that I kissed another man and that it turned me on. I wanted to be with him. Do you want to say something about this?”