Dream Wedding(100)

“What else did you want to talk about?” he asked when it became clear she needed prompting. He could only hope it wasn’t another bombshell about leaving him alone with Sasha.

She touched her right heart-shaped earring, then laced her fingers together. She was nervous about something, he thought as warning bells went off in his head.

“It’s about Sasha,” she started.

Despite the fact that he didn’t want to hear anything negative she had to say on that topic, he told her to continue.

“She’s your niece,” Cassie continued.

“Surprisingly enough, I’m aware of that.”

She gave him a brief smile. “I know it’s hard for you to connect with her. You haven’t been around children much. Your work is very demanding. Adding to the stress in your life is the fact that you recently lost your only brother and you’ve had to temporarily relocate to a new town.”

Ryan wasn’t sure where all this was going, but he knew he wasn’t going to like it when they got there. “None of this is news to me.”

She squared her shoulders and met his gaze. “You can’t ignore Sasha forever. She’s not going away. If it’s difficult for you to deal with the loss of your family, imagine how she feels. She’s too young to understand anything except that her parents—in essence her entire known family and her whole world—are gone. She’s scared and alone and she’s barely two years old. She needs you to be around more. She needs to know she can count on you.”

Ryan wasn’t ready for a child to count on him, nor was he any great prize in the family or responsibility department, but one look at Cassie’s determined expression told him he wasn’t going to get away with saying that to her.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said at last, when it became obvious Cassie was waiting for a response. He was stuck, even if he didn’t want to be.

“I appreciate that, and I’m sure if Sasha was old enough to understand, she would appreciate hearing that, too. But right now actions are going to speak louder than words for her.” Her eyes darkened with compassion. “I know this has been terrible for you. Losing your brother and Helen, taking responsibility for Sasha. While it might make sense for you to hide out until you feel as if you’ve started to heal, it would be so much better for Sasha if you could allow yourself to need her, at least a little. She needs you so very much.”

He didn’t need Sasha, he thought. He hadn’t needed anyone since he was seven or eight years old. His mother hadn’t only taught him the power of hard work, she’d also taught him self-reliance. But he couldn’t tell that to Cassie; she wouldn’t understand. Besides, there was an odd knot in his stomach when he thought about his niece and he had a feeling that if he examined the sensation too closely he would find it was fueled by guilt.

Cassie was right—he couldn’t ignore Sasha forever. Even though a part of him wanted to. Even though he was the wrong person to raise her and he didn’t know what the hell he was supposed to do with her. But his only brother had entrusted him with Sasha and he couldn’t turn his back on that trust.

In truth he’d been hoping the problem would go away by itself. He wanted to remind Cassie that he’d relocated to Bradley, had moved into his brother’s house, and wasn’t that enough? Why should he have to do more?

“I see your point,” he said quietly. “What do you want me to do?”

“Nothing that scary.” She tilted her head and smiled. “Just get to know her. Pretend she’s your new neighbor. How would you meet someone like that?”

“I wouldn’t.” At her look of surprise he found himself adding, “I’m not a very social person.”

“Why would you choose to spend your life alone?”

No one had ever asked him that before, but he didn’t have any trouble with the answer. “It’s easier.”

“Not getting involved?”

He nodded. “Things are a lot more tidy when people don’t get involved.”

Her dark brown eyes seemed to be staring into his soul. “Sounds lonely.”

“Sometimes, but it’s a small price to pay for autonomy.” He drew in a breath. For some reason, Cassie’s questions made him uncomfortable. He decided to shift the conversation back to something safer. “If I wanted to get to know my neighbor, I would say ‘hi,’ strike up a conversation in the elevator, that sort of thing.”

“It’s not so different with Sasha,” Cassie told him. “You need to spend more time with her. Get to know her in her world.”