Dr. Neurotic(32)

They'd had a real shit deal handed to them, and I just couldn't be the  one to remove them from that house. At least not right now.

I could handle the shitty apartment in Chinatown. Anyway, seeing as my  mood had been shit since the day Nick and I had broken up, that  apartment had started to grow on me. I guessed it matched my life now.

"Wow," Harper breathed into the phone. "Uh. Do you honestly hear yourself right now?"

I knew it all sounded ridiculous. But Doreen and Harry had grown on me.  Hell, they'd become close friends. The fact that I was heading to pick  them up from their joint colonoscopy appointment was proof of that.

Though, why a married couple would schedule a colonoscopy together was beyond me, but to each their own, I guessed.

Two days ago, when I'd stopped by to eat dinner with them, Doreen had  mentioned that they planned on taking a cab home from their procedure,  but I'd insisted that I'd pick them up. I just didn't feel comfortable  with them getting in some random person's cab still high off the  sedatives they'd administered during their procedures.

Plus, with only prospect follow-up calls on the books for today, I knew I'd be able to pick them up without any issues.

"Listen, Harper," I said and cradled the phone between my shoulder and  ear as I unlocked the door to my car. "I'd love to continue this  conversation further, but I have to get moving."         

     



 

"You mean, you need to get off the phone to pick up your friends slash  roommates," she responded sarcastically. "Well, considering you're not  actually living in your own house, I guess they're not really your  roommates, huh?"

Considering I hadn't really had a chance to go into all the details  about Harry and Doreen's situation, I was trying to give Harper the  benefit of the doubt. She didn't know the full story, because if she  did, I had a feeling she'd be more sympathetic.

"Are you done?"

"Not really."

I sighed and opened the driver's side door. "How about I'll call you  later tonight, and you can chastise me some more?" I tossed back. "I'll  even make sure I've got an entire hour cleared out just to hear your  bitching."

"Okay." A small laugh filled my ears. "I get it. I'm being a little bit of a bitch right now, huh?"

"Yeah," I answered honestly. "And probably more than just a little bit."

"You know it comes from a good place, right? It's only because I want the best for you."

"Thankfully, I do understand that."

"Okay, good," she said on a relieved sigh. "Go pick up your new friends Doreen and Harry from their couple's massage-"

"Cripes." A hearty laugh escaped my lungs. "They had colonoscopies! Not massages!"

She laughed. "My bad. Couple's colonoscopies."

When she said it like that, I also couldn't help but laugh at the scenario.

"You know what they say," I teased. "The couples that get their asses checked together, stay together."

"I'll make sure I keep that in mind for my future husband." Harper's  answering smile was apparent in her voice, and I did my best not to go  to the dark place as the words "future husband" reminded me of Nick.  "Call me later?"

"Only if you promise not to bitch, and we focus our conversation on what is happening on Game of Thrones right now."

"Deal," she agreed. "Love you, you little bleeding heart who buys a  house only to let someone else live in it because she is literally the  most patient and caring person on the planet."

"Is that my new nickname?" I teased. "It's quite long. I'm not sure if Ivy will be able to remember it."

"Shut up," she muttered. "Go pick up the butt twins. I'll call you later."

"Bye! Love you!" I shouted into the phone and ended the call.

With a turn of my key, the engine revved to life. I backed out of my  parking spot in the long-term garage and headed in the direction of the  Outpatient Endoscopy Center in Hoboken.

I had a couple of colonoscopy victims to pick up.




At a little after six, I'd managed to get a very groggy Doreen and Harry  home safely and settled on their couch. The doctor had told me they'd  both handled the procedure well, but that it would be wise if someone  kept an eye on them for a few hours until the anesthetic had completely  worn off.

Standing in the kitchen, I whipped up the easiest meal I could think of-French toast, scrambled eggs, and bacon.

I wasn't the world's most talented chef, but I knew my way around a  breakfast for dinner meal option. And, who doesn't love eating breakfast  for dinner? It was one of the greatest inventions known to man.

Once the last piece of French toast was cooked to a nice golden brown, I  started dishing out hearty portions onto everyone's plates. Obviously,  with Harry getting the biggest portions. The man had a huge appetite to  begin with, and after twenty-four hours of suffering through a clear  liquid diet and colonoscopy prep, I had a feeling he'd need at least  five pieces of French toast.

"Hurry up, Char!" Doreen shouted from her cozy spot in the living room. "The show is about to start!"

"Shit," I muttered to myself. "Be there in a sec!" I called back and  quickly finished dropping a few slices of bacon onto everyone's plates.

In record time, I got Doreen and Harry all set up with their meals and  portable dinner trays. They both grinned at me and offered their thanks,  and as the credits for the show started to flash across the screen, I  plopped myself down onto the love seat across from them and rested my  own plate in my lap.

Riveted, I kept my gaze fixated on the screen.

But holy smokes, I was nervous.

Tonight was the first episode of the reality docuseries, The Doctor Is  In, that I'd been brave enough to watch. Harper had been watching for  weeks, but only spoke about the specifics in hushed tones when she  thought I wasn't listening. Apparently, she understood the pain  associated with all things St. Luke's Hospital.         

     



 

Nick's episodes would be the last to air, apparently, but those of his  fellow peer in OB/GYN, Will Cummings, were on now. I wasn't sure why I  felt the urge to watch it. Curiosity? Masochism? Or the blind hope of  seeing Nick's face again, even if it was just on the TV?

Or maybe it was a combination of all three?

I honestly had no idea, and instead of dissecting thoughts and emotions, I focused my energy on watching the show.

The opening music continued, a fast tempo with a ton of B-roll footage  of the hospital, its halls, and the busy streets of Manhattan. The  footage sped up, zooming in the front doors of St. Luke's Hospital,  through the halls, stairwell, and around the corner to the front  entrance of Dr. Cummings's Obstetrics and Gynecology Office.

And then the doors opened, and Will's face with the words Dr. OB filled the screen.

He introduced himself and his practice and welcomed viewers into his world. So far, it all appeared very normal.

Well, it had, until various, shocking words started to flash across the screen.

Sex.

Scandal.

Intrigue.

Secrets.

Lies.

The graphic for the show filled the screen again, and the words Dr. OB  appeared at the bottom. But this time, a ghost of the letters  "s-c-e-n-e" filled the space right after.

Dr. Obscene.

Holy hell. They'd give him the name Dr. Obscene.

My jaw all but hit the top of my French toast as my mind digested the information.

Obviously, I didn't know Will Cummings, but I had a hard time believing  he was the kind of man to actually live up to all of those insane words  and descriptions the show had just given its viewers.

Not to mention, they'd changed the OB moniker into something that was  the opposite of respectable. It was dirty. It was ridiculous. It was a  commercial, sensationalized disaster.

My heart started to pound furiously inside of my chest.

If this was what they'd made out of Will's episodes, what in the hell were they going to do with Nick's?

We had been together when they'd first started to film his episodes. I knew they'd gotten me on camera more than once.

Jesus, what would Winnie or Remy do if they found out that Nick and I had been in a relationship at one point?

I hadn't spoken with him in weeks and weeks, but I couldn't stop myself  from grabbing my phone out of my purse and sending him a text message.



Me: I'm watching Will's episode and … just … God, I'm sorry, Nick. I'm really, really sorry.



Brief. To the point. But still caring to its core. He sent a response a minute later.



Nick: It's not your fault, sweetheart.



His message only made me miss him more.





As it turns out, it wasn't such a good idea to become friends with Will Cummings.

He was a good guy and all, and he definitely made me laugh the few times  we'd gone out for drinks after work, but he'd also been the one to rope  me into this event.

Beards for Bab(i)es.

His girlfriend Melody had a free women's clinic at St. Luke's, and they  needed more funds to continue their endeavor of providing free  healthcare to women in need. As someone in the field, I knew how it  worked-how much free medical care really cost-and it didn't come cheap. I  only had experience with one other clinic that did pro bono work, a  gender nonspecific place in Palo Alto, California. They had benefits  every few months, such was the demand on their cash flow.