Down and Dirty(52)

“If you needed more bodies out there, why didn’t you let me come out to help? I asked Rafe, and he—”

Shane’s face went notably blank, and his fingers clenched the wheel more tightly, sending a trickle of dread down her spine.

“Tell me you didn’t convince Rafe to keep me inside because you didn’t want my dainty little self to catch a chill.” If the air was cold, her tone was arctic.

He turned the heat on without a word and it blasted tepid air.

At his telling lack of response, all the emotion that had been simmering just beneath the surface erupted in a snarl. “Who the hell do you think you are?”





Chapter Twelve

Shane kept his eyes on the snowy back road, but he didn’t need to see her to know she was beyond furious. He did a perfunctory soul-searching but couldn’t find even a morsel of regret for his actions, so she was shit out of luck if she expected an apology.

“It wasn’t just the cold, Cat.” He tried to keep the emotion from his voice and stated the facts, hoping she would understand, but resigning himself to the consequences if she didn’t. He wasn’t going to lie to her no matter how much the truth pissed her off. “I didn’t want you to find her.”

The words hung in the air between them until she started to sputter. “I don’t understand. You like being a hero so much that you didn’t want to miss out on the glory? If that’s the case, then I don’t even know who you are.”

Her lack of faith in his character cut deep, but he didn’t let it show. Emotions were high; it had been a rough day on everyone. “Obviously not. And maybe I phrased that incorrectly. What I meant was that I didn’t want you to find her because I didn’t think she was going to be found alive.”

He gave her a second to process what he was saying, then continued. “It’s freezing, we didn’t know how long she’d been out or if she’d managed to find shelter. Jesus, Cat, we’re right next to a huge lake. Do you have any idea what it’s like to see a child who’s drowned?” He shook his head and tried to block out the memories of a recent monsoon rescue effort. “I come in with a can-do attitude with every job, but if I had to put a number on it? Gracie’s chances were less than fifty percent and dropping with every hour. If she hadn’t made it… Seeing something like that weighs on you.”

He gritted his teeth against the twinge of guilt that crept in. “I care about you too much to watch you go through that. We needed someone inside to help Maggie and keep the teams nourished and warm. You were as good a choice as anyone.”

“Her parents were out there,” she argued, fists balled on her thighs.

“That wasn’t my call. If there had been something I could do to dissuade them, believe me, I would have. You didn’t need to be there. And face it, you did help, Cat. Maggie needed someone badly, and I know the team appreciated everything you did. I don’t think some of them would have been able to stay out as long as they did if not for you guys keeping them going with the coffee and dry gear.”

She was quiet for so long, he wondered if she was going to respond at all. Then she blew out a weary sigh and slumped deeper into the seat. “I thought we were past this. I thought you’d accepted that I don’t want a guy who feels like he needs to take care of me. I can take care of myself.”

There was no anger now, which should have been a good sign, but somehow the resignation and sadness in her voice was far more chilling.

“Just take me home, Shane.”

For the rest of the ride, they didn’t speak, but he could feel her fortifying the wall between them, brick by brick. He thought about pressing her, pushing for a resolution, but he’d used the last reserves of his energy back in the woods, and neither one of them was in a good frame of mind for a conversation. By the time they pulled into her driveway, he wondered if she’d drifted off.

“Did you want to come in for a minute? I can make you a hot coffee to go, and I’m sure I can find a dry pair of socks to fit you.” The offer was clipped, delivered in much the same way a DMV employee might ask an impatient driver to take a number, and forced him to reconsider putting off the rest of their conversation.

He turned to face her. “Look, I know you’re mad at me right now, but let’s not leave things like this. I need you to understand that I wasn’t trying to hurt you back there.”

“The thing is, I’m not even mad. I was mad. Now I’m just like…whatever.” She angled toward him and took his still-chilly hand in her gloved one. “This wasn’t your fault. You’re a hero, and you saved that little girl’s life today. I think you’re an amazing person, and I let that sway me. I always knew we weren’t right for each other.”