Don't Follow Me: A High School Bully Romance (Diamond In The Rough Book 4)(39)

“I promise you, it’s going to be okay,” I whispered.

Rae’s eyes dried up. Her tears evaporated in the sun. She didn’t move, though. She seemed rooted to her place. I didn’t know if she was shocked, or relieved, or angry, or hurt. She didn’t give me anything to go on, and I started worrying.

So I proceeded forward.

I slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper. I unraveled it, scanning the notes I’d made in the library. I grinned at the recent memory. How hard I’d tried tracking down a simple piece of paper and a pen before the librarian told me I could type up a Word document and print it out. At no cost to me. I felt like an idiot. Then again, I’d never been partial to typing things up. I preferred writing them down. It helped me to remember things.

But that meant Rae wouldn’t have to sift through my chicken scratch to read my notes.

“Look, I don’t know why I ended up at campus today. But that’s where my feet took me. So I took advantage of it.”

I handed her the piece of paper and she took it.

“What’s this?”

I grinned. “Notes I took for you.”

She looked back up at me. “What kind of notes?”

I snickered. “The kind that might help you going forward with your degree.”

“I’m not following.”

I chuckled softly. “Once I got to campus, I found my way into the library. I started looking things up. Trying to figure out how I could help you. How I could help, maybe, sift through some of this confusion you’re feeling. Or experiencing deep down. I looked up all sorts of things. There’s some description on the graphic design classes they have here. Concentrations in their English department.”

Her eyes fell to the piece of paper as I continued rambling.

“I even looked up some things you could do between now and next semester. You know, if you decided to postpone for a semester to try and work things out.”

She cleared her throat. “I can do that?”

I nodded. “Yep. C.S.U. has a policy that allows all enrolled students to postpone their schooling for a semester before they either have to drop or declare a transfer to a different school. I listed some jobs around here that would work well with your grocery store experience. A few places hiring part time. I also looked up some rental places you could take a look at. You know, so you can root yourself here and not have to go back home to deal with your mother if you don’t want to.”

She swallowed hard. “You looked all this up for me?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I mean, it’s what I did when my father threw my life for a loop last year. I spent as much time as I could looking up all sorts of avenues for my life. I figured you could use the same information. Plus, there’s lot of other things you can do that I can’t. Like, working in a call center. Or online English tutoring services. There are some freelancing websites you should check out. It’s really cool.”

“Clint,” she whispered.

“Oh! And no overhead cost. Just the website taking a small percentage of the money you’re paid for jobs. All you’d need is a place to live and an internet connection.”

“Clint, I--”

“I mean, if you really made something of it, you could travel. I know you like traveling. Anywhere with an internet connection would work. I read a few stories online where people did this full time. They didn’t even go to school. Just did this freelancing work, and then did what they wanted on the side. You could do this, and then sell your drawings for--”

“Clint.”

I blinked. “Yeah?”

Rae sighed. “This is--this is generous.”

I shrugged. “It’s what you need. Options. I needed options, at least. And I figured they might help. I mean, you’ve got everything from what you can accomplish here at C.S.U. all the way to working and traveling at the same time. If you travel to the right places, too, you could make that look really good on an application form for some hoity-toity job along down the line.”

She giggled. “Hoity toity?”

I grinned. “Or something like that.”

“Clint… this is--”

I pressed my finger against her lips. “Your choice to make. Not mine.”

“Will you just listen for a second?”

“In my defense, you’ve done a lot of talking lately. Let me finish. Please?”

She nodded slowly. “You’re right. Okay.”

I sighed. “I’m not going to push you in any direction. You take the time you need to think about this. Pour over those notes. Think about what really would make you happy. I mean, just you. Not me, or Mike, or Ally, or your mom. Just you. If you fell asleep tomorrow and woke up with any of those options in play, which one would you want it to be? Once you know that, you know what your next step is.”

“You’re too good to me, Clint.”

“At one point in time, Rae, you were too good to me. I left you over less, because I thought I was protecting you from something. You helped me get through high school. I graduated because of you. I know it upsets you that I’m not going to college, but--”

She shook her head. “It doesn’t upset me.”

“Well, however it makes you feel, I know you’re not very happy with it. Which is okay. You guys put in a lot of work to help me graduate. And I won’t let you down because of that.”

“Clint, you don’t owe us any--”

“Will you just listen, Rae?”

She licked her lips. “You’re talking from a good place, but you’re missing some information you really need to know.”

“Can I finish anyway?”

“Yeah. Of course.”

I cupped her cheek. “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You saved my life. You saved me from myself. In a lot of ways, Cecilia and I got away from my father because of you. Because you kept pushing. Because you kept coming back. Because you kept talking, even when I wanted you to stop.”

She smirked. “It’s what I do best.”

I chuckled. “I know, trust me.”

“Hey, now. Them’s fightin’ words.”

I stroked her cheek with my thumb. “I need you to know that whatever you decide you want with your life--or need with your life--I support you. Not because I feel I have to, but because I want to. I love you, Rae. And watching you flounder like this kills me. If anyone deserves a clear path to happiness, it’s you. I hope the information on that page helps.”

She nuzzled against my skin. “I’m sure it will, Clint.”

I brought her in for a hug. “Come here, beautiful.”

She sighed against me as her arms slipped around my waist. I buried my nose in her hair, sniffing deeply. Committing her scent to memory. I felt a weight lifting itself off my shoulders. I felt lighter on my feet as I stood there, swaying us side to side. I didn’t care that I was sweating down my back. I didn’t care that my feet hurt. All I cared about was soaking in this time with Rae before she made a decision.

Then she pulled away.

“I might not know what I want for my future, but I know what I want right now.”

I nodded. “Name it.”

She took my hand. “I want you to come up to the room with me.”

And as she tugged me toward the gate, I saw heat ignite behind her eyes.

A heat I had missed seeing in her stare.





33





Raelynn





I closed the hotel room door behind me and locked it. I turned around, facing Clint as he gazed out the balcony window. I watched him slowly turn around, lumbering around on his feet. He kicked his shoes off as his gaze met mine, and I felt my heart skip a beat.

He was putting on a damn good show of being fine with all this. But I saw the pain in his eyes. The limp in his step. His body hurt. His heart ached. And I hated being the one responsible for it.

I felt no better than his father.

“Clint, I don’t want us to be over.”

He sighed. “Me neither. But--”

I nodded. “But… you’re right. I do have to look at everything from all angles.”

“Yes. You really do. You deserve that. You know, for yourself.”

“I need you to understand--”

“Rae, that isn’t necess--”

“You had your chance to talk, and now it’s mine.”

He snickered. “This how we’re going to be talking to one another from now on.”

I grinned. “If that’s what it takes for you to hear me out.”

He nodded. “All right. Hit me with it.”

“What you’ve given me is more generous than anything I figured you’d come back with. I thought maybe you’d pick up the phone and tell me it was over. Or come back and get your things before going home.”

“I’m not going to lie, I debated it.”

“I’m sure you did. And you had every right to. I want you to know that I’m thankful you chose to stay.”

“Actually, I’m not sure if I’m staying still.”

I blinked. “What?”

He sighed. “It’s obvious you don’t want me here.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. Even if you don’t want to admit it, it’s--”

“It’s not true!”

“Rae, take a breath. I’m not accusing you of anything, nor am I upset.”