Do Not Forsake Me(46)

“I never should have taken my eyes off Little Jake,” Evie told him. “He’s such a little devil, always running off and always daring me to stop him from doing something he shouldn’t, but he’s so crazy about his ‘gampa.’”

“He’s a Harkner. He can’t help being naughty. And I love that he’s crazy about me.” Jake squeezed her hand. “Evie…you’re my sweet and beautiful daughter, and it breaks my heart to think of how I roared at you. That was just that dark, scared part of me that’s always afraid I’ll lose someone I love because of who I am. You’d all be better off without me around.”

“None of us would be better off without you, Daddy, and you know it. You are the strongest, bravest man I’ve ever known…not just physically, but in spirit. You must know how much we all need you.”

Jake smiled sadly. “And you are a daughter who is incapable of finding anything wrong with her father. You are a breath of fresh air, Evie. You stuck by me through the worst of it…and I’m sorry for all the lost years when I gave Lloyd so much attention as he grew up. My goal once he was born was to be a good father to a son. But I never loved him more than you. I just love him…different. Can you understand that?”

Evie nodded, a tear slipping down her cheek. Jake reached up and touched her face, wiping the tear away with his thumb. “You’ve always been so quiet and undemanding. I truly believe my mother lives inside of you, Evie, like an angel’s spirit loving me unconditionally.”

She put a hand to his, surprised at the remark. “Do you really believe in angels?”

He closed his eyes. “You’d be surprised what I believe in. And don’t be telling your mother. She’ll be after me to go to church.”

“You should go to church, Daddy.”

“No. Don’t you start on me too. Just know that I love you, Evie. In you I see Evita Ramona Consuella de Jimenez. Her eyes shine right through yours.” He moved an arm out and she laid across his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. Jake put an arm around her, stroking her thick, dark hair. “I will never raise my voice to you again,” he promised.

“I know.”

Jake held her tightly, and Evie grew concerned when she felt him tremble. She started to rise, but he held her fast. “He killed her,” he said in a near whisper. His grip seemed almost desperate. “He killed her and my brother right before my eyes.”

He shifted and groaned softly. Evie wasn’t sure if it was from physical or emotional pain. “Mother told me all of it a long time ago, Daddy. You think Lloyd and I don’t know, but we do. Please don’t think about it. You’ll get upset all over again.”

“I was eight years old,” he continued, as though not even hearing her. “The sonofabitch took me away with him, and he never talked about them again. Before we left, I stole my mother’s rosary beads…and I never let him know it. He would have taken them away from me.”

“Daddy, I’m so sorry.” Evie wept.

Jake continued to hold her fast.

“God brought my mother back to life in you.”

“And he gave me the best father ever.”

Jake smiled, breathing in the scent of her hair—seeming to calm again. “That I would argue with. I will agree, though, that he gave you the best husband ever. I am so glad you have Brian. He’s a good, kind, patient man. He’s put up with so much.”

“He’s good to me,” Evie reassured him. “He loves me very much.” She sighed deeply. “I’m so tired. I could just stay right here and fall asleep. When I was little, I always felt so safe when you held me.”

“And I didn’t hold you enough.” He grimaced. “Baby girl, right now you’d better go home because I’m kind of…floating in and out of this world…and some other…darker world. I don’t trust myself right now, Evie. Just know that I love you, but I’m…so…damn…tired…”

Evie sat up, wiping at tears. Her father looked as though he’d fallen asleep again. Randy walked into the room. “Mother, is he all right? He’s just sleeping, isn’t he?”

Randy came closer and put a hand on Jake’s forehead. “There’s no fever. His body is just exhausted from working so hard to build his blood back. I’m making sure he drinks as much water as possible. Brian said that will help. And he said your father could slip in and out for another day or so.” She looked at Evie, ached at the tears in her eyes. “Oh, Evie, he’ll be fine, I’m sure.”