Disgrace and Desire(46)

Eloise struggled to sit up. Jack went to rise but her slender fingers clung to his hand so he remained perched on the edge of the daybed.

Lady Keworth held out the glass. ‘There, my dear. Are you sure there is nothing else I can do for you; shall I summon a doctor?’

Eloise’s fingers were shaking when she took the glass and Jack immediately reached out to help her, putting his hand over hers to steady it. She cast a swift, grateful look in his direction before turning to address Lady Keworth.

‘Thank you, ma’am. I am sure I shall be very well, if I may only rest here quietly for a little while.’

The lady hovered uncertainly.

‘I shall look after Lady Allyngham, ma’am,’ said Jack again. ‘I am sure you want to return to your guests, they will be growing anxious.’

‘Well…’ Lady Keworth hesitated and Alex stepped up.

‘Indeed, ma’am, we should go: so much excitement—we would not wish it to spoil your card party. You may be easy, madam; before he died at Waterloo, the late Lord Allyngham consigned his wife to Major Clifton’s care.’ He held out his arm to her. ‘Let us leave them now, I am sure they have much to discuss!’ He looked back over his shoulder as he escorted the lady from the room, giving Jack a grin and the suggestion of a wink.





Chapter Nineteen


‘I thank Providence for Alex Mortimer,’ said Jack, unable to suppress a smile. ‘I thought our hostess would never go away. He has closed the door upon us, too. I fear your reputation will be ruined after this, madam, unless you agree to marry me.’ He turned to Eloise, but his smile quickly disappeared when he saw her pale cheeks and the stricken look in her eyes. He said quickly, ‘Dearest heart, what is it?’

She shook her head.

‘Please, do not call me that!’

He took the glass from her shaking hands and placed it on a small side table.

‘Now, Elle,’ he said, taking her in his arms. ‘What is all this?’

She put her hands against his chest to hold him off.

‘I c-cannot marry you!’

‘No?’ He let her go and she turned away, hunting for her handkerchief. Silently he handed her his own.

‘No. At least,’ she muttered, dabbing at her eyes, ‘not until you know the truth about me.’

He smiled.

‘I know everything I need to know about you.’

She choked back a sob. How was she ever to explain it to him? He put his hands on her shoulders and she jumped, moving to the far end of the sofa.

‘Please,’ she said quickly, ‘do not touch me, not until I have t-told you.’

‘There is no need—’

‘But there is!’ she cried. ‘I w-would have no secrets from you, Jack, not any more. But once you know everything I am very much afraid you will want nothing more to do with me.’ She turned back towards him, her hands clasped so tightly the knuckles gleamed white. ‘I must tell you. I could not bear for you to find out in the future and…and hate me.’

‘I could never hate you.’ He reached out and took her hands. He said quietly, ‘Elle, if this is about Allyngham and Alex, I know. Alex told me everything.’

‘He did? But…when?’

‘The night we broke into Deforge’s house. I was determined to leave town. I told Alex that if you would not trust me then I wanted nothing further to do with you. So he told me what you would not—what you felt you could nott—out of loyalty to your husband and your friend. After all it was their secret, was it not?’

She gazed at him wide-eyed.

‘You are not…outraged?’

He smiled at her.

‘Despite your reputation, my lady, you really have led quite a sheltered life. No. I was not scandalised to learn that Alex and your husband were lovers.’

‘But…in the eyes of the law it is a criminal offence—men can be hanged for it.’ She squeezed his fingers, not sure that he understood her. ‘Lives have been ruined, reputations lost—Tony and Alex were so careful to protect their secret. Tony knew his name would be disgraced for ever if the truth came out—no respectable person could ever acknowledge him.’

‘Then perhaps I am not quite so respectable as you think me,’ replied Jack, smiling slightly. ‘Alex’s disclosure did not shock me. I was more shocked to learn that you had married Allyngham to protect them both. Mortimer said that you are very loyal and he is right, is he not? A little too loyal, perhaps. You were prepared, nay, willing, to be thought fast—a wanton widow indeed!—rather than have anyone suspect the truth.’

She bowed her head.

‘I am glad Alex told you,’ she said quietly. ‘I did not want to betray him, or Tony. But neither could I let you marry me without you knowing the truth.’

‘Thank you,’ he said, giving her a smile that tugged at her heart. ‘Once I knew you were a maid I suspected the affairs in the journal might be Allyngham’s rather than yours, but I was at a loss to know why you would not trust me with the secret, until Mortimer explained it all.’

‘I am so very sorry.’

‘Elle, you have done nothing wrong,’ he said quietly. ‘You were merely protecting those you loved.’ Jack squeezed her hands. ‘What a burden for you to carry! I admire your loyalty towards Tony and Alex, my dear.’

She bit her lip.

‘I seem to have spent my life looking after them,’ she murmured.

‘And now I am going to look after you,’ he told her, smiling. ‘Tony said that you deserved better, I didn’t understand him at the time, but now, I hope I can be a worthy husband for you. I shall obtain a special licence: we can be married and away from London within a se’ennight, what do you say to that?’

‘It—it sounds delightful, if you are sure you still want to marry me.’

‘It would be an honour to marry Tony Allyngham’s widow,’ he told her solemnly.

She closed her eyes, suddenly exhausted by the events of the evening. Jack leaned forwards and kissed her cheek.

‘Poor love, you look very tired. I should take you home.’

She nodded.

‘Yes, if you please.’

‘Wait here, then. I must find Alex and tell him we are leaving. And I must speak with our hosts.’ He gave her a rueful smile. ‘It may take some time: you will not mind being left alone here?’

‘No, I shall be well enough, but please, be as quick as you can!’





Alone in Lady Keworth’s elegant sitting room, Eloise reclined upon the daybed, her arms folded over her stomach. She was aware of a little seed of happiness inside her, but she was afraid to allow it to grow too much. She was very weary, but she did not want to sleep, only to lie still and go over in her mind all that Jack had said to her. He knew the truth and he still wanted to marry her. She went back over his words again. He cared for her, he desired her, she knew that, but at no time had he told her loved her. She hugged herself a little tighter. Perhaps, given time, he might grow to love her for her own sake, and not just as his comrade’s widow.

A light scratching on the door made her sit up.

‘Come in.’

A liveried footmen stepped into the room. He carried her blue silk cloak over his arm.

‘If it please your ladyship, Major Clifton is waiting for you with the carriage.’

She rose and followed him out of the door, throwing her wrap over her shoulders.

‘This way, madam.’ He pointed to the backstairs. ‘The major thought you might like to leave by the side door, rather than go out through the main salon.’

‘Of course.’ She followed the servant down the stairs, smiling to herself. How thoughtful of Jack to know she would not wish to speak to anyone.

The side door stood open and she could see her carriage drawn up on the street, the flickering streetlamps illuminating the Allyngham crest on the door. A fine drizzle was falling and Eloise threw her hood up over her hair. The footman went out before her, opened the door and handed her into the waiting carriage. Almost before she had climbed in the door was closed behind her and the carriage pulled away with a jerk, toppling her on to the seat.

‘Goodness, Herries is eager to get home tonight!’ she laughed, addressing the figure lounging in the far corner of the carriage.

Her laughter died and a cold, sick dread came over her as Sir Ronald Deforge leaned forwards.

‘I, too, am very eager, my lady, but we are not going to Dover Street.’

Eloise shrank back into the corner of the carriage.

‘How did you get here? Where are my people?’

‘Trussed up in an alleyway, along with one of Keworth’s lackeys. We needed his livery.’

‘So the footman was one of your hirelings.’ Her lip curled. ‘I did not think you would stoop so low.’

‘I have not resorted to housebreaking,’ he retorted. ‘Do not look so innocent, my lady: I gather from Clifton’s words that you have somehow managed to retrieve Allyngham’s journal.’

‘Yes,’ she said defiantly. ‘It is destroyed. You have no further hold over me.’

He laughed gently and a shiver of fear ran down her spine.

‘Since you are here now, I think I have quite a substantial hold over you, madam.’

Eloise bit her lip, her eyes sliding towards the carriage door. Sir Ronald said coldly, ‘If you are thinking of leaping out, my dear, let me assure you that it will not help you: you might easily break a limb in the process and in any event my men would catch you and bring you back immediately.’